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Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Tip mwen ideyal: Yon moun ki gen pasyans ase pou sipòte betiz mwen 😎 Yon moun ki jwenn mwen bèl menm lè mwen fè bagay etranj 😏 Epi yon moun ki gen yon mantalite an sante ak pa gen pwoblèm mantal 👍

Fòs mwen: Mwen gen yon mantalite fò. Epitou, mwen ka frape ou souvan, men mwen fèb, kidonk sa p ap fè mal. Se sa
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Bon maten

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Mwen tankou yon dra ki byen ajiste. Fristre e toujou ap soti.

Mwen tankou

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

M'ap janm fè blag sou moun ki gen chèz twalèt chofe ankò...🥶🥶🥶

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Eske sa a vre???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Si ou gade Jaws a ranvèse, li vin tounen yon istwa ki chofe kè sou yon requin ki itil ki pote bra ak janm bay moun ki bezwen yo.

Panse pou jounen an

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Poukisa li santi l konsa difisil?

Pafwa moun mande,

"Poukisa ou pa jis pale de sa?"

Repons lan an reyalite senp:

Mwen menm pa konnen ki kote pou m kòmanse.

Se pa paske mwen pa vle ouvri.

Petèt se paske, pandan lontan, mwen pa janm vrèman gen yon espas ki an sekirite kote yon moun te dispoze koute mwen vrèman.

Se konsa mwen aprann pote tout bagay pou kont mwen.

Tristès → antere.
Dezapwentman → nan boutèy.
Bezwen → mete sou kote.

Ti pa ti pa, sa vin tounen yon abitid.

Juska yon jou, menm di,

"Mwen pa okay,"

te kòmanse santi l etranj.

Moun yo wè yon moun ki sanble kalm, matir, e ki gen tout bagay anba kontwòl.

Men sa yo pa wè se ke sa a ki sanble kalm sou deyò a souvan se jis yon mask ki byen kenbe...

ki kouvri blesi ki pa janm vrèman gen chans pou yo geri.

Si ou sèlman kòmanse ouvri, sa a se oke.

Ou pa bezwen fè tout bagay an menm tan.

Pran tan ou.

Allah konnen chak santiman nan kè ou, menm lapriyè ou pa jwenn mo pou di ak dlo je ki pa tonbe.

Ou pa bezwen fò tout pou kont ou.

Allah toujou ap koute, e gen toujou espwa pou geri—yon ti pa nan yon tan.

Santi Fatige 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Salut. "Mwen se yon modèl fitness. Mwen se foto anvan an" 😎😁

"Kisa ou fè pou viv?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Di mwen pi MOVE blag ou janm tande oswa jwenn sou Entènèt la. Mwen pwomèt pou m ROFLMAO 🤣 oswa seryezman poze kesyon sou sans ou pou imè 😂

ROFL oswa Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Blag Papa Pickle

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Mwen renmen kolòn mwen barber a, se definitivman bagay orijinal la :')

"Pou tout kalite po" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

Absoliman, pwoksimite a reyèl. Rete bò kote moun ou vle vin.

Blag Papa Pi Bon Air

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

Ki kalite blag yon vegan renmen? 
San vyann

Travay an pwogrè

Dad Joke Magician

Majisyen Blag Papa

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Ann kòmanse wikenn nan ak yon ti imè 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Di nou ke yo atake nou ak ninjas e yo tout ap sèvi ak nepe - ann di Shinobi ak ninjatō pou klè. Yo soti nan yon lòt liy tan kote lavni se Japon feodal. Yo bezwen soulye nou e yo pare pou touye nou pou yo. Eske nou ap mache tounen pye kal oswa èske ou gen yon plan pou sove soulye nou?

Ninjas Vle Soulye Nou!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Mwen te eseye trape FOG yè... Mwen MIST. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Kisa ki te pase ak grenouy ki te pakin ilegalman? Li te jwenn yon amfibyen.

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Kèk blag maten pou kòmanse jou ou:
Maten yo tankou matematik — mwen pa renmen yo, yo pa renmen mwen, e yo toujou vini ak pwoblèm.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

Papa Blag Santa Motosiklet

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Ki pi ansyen mem ou genyen ki toujou fè ou ri men ki raple ou laj ou?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Sèlman yon demon fi nòmal isit la

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Tanpri, ti kannard sa a ap sou tèt mwen depi 2 èdtan!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Mwen te gen yon travay ki te kraze kann,
Se te peze soda..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Kisa ou jwenn lè ou kwaze yon ipopotam, yon elefan ak yon rhinocéros 🤔
Kisa ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Enfòmasyon mwen pa genyen)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Lòt jou a mwen te ale achte yon pye Nwèl
Gason an nan magazen an te di "ou pral mete l' tèt ou"
Mwen te di "mwen t ap panse sou salon an"

Eggless omelet

Omelet san ze

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Blag papa Gemini :
Poukisa scarecrow la te genyen yon prim ? 
Paske li te eksepsyonèl nan jaden li.
Mwen: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Mwen rankontre yon lòt tifi sou Boo. Li te renmen pòs mwen an e li te kòmante ke mwen te komik, kidonk natirèlman, kòm yon jantleman, mwen reponn li e mwen di li si li vle plis kontni ki pa gen limit, li ta dwe voye mesaj prive ba mwen.

Li fè sa. Avèk respè, mwen te sezi.

Premye bagay li pote se tip MBTI li. Mwen pa konnen anyen sou sa. Mwen jis la ap viv lavi a ak vibes ak Google Calendar.

Konsa mwen mande li ki sa MBTI ye, e li di li di ou kijan sèvo ou fonksyone. Tankou yon MRI pèsonalite, mwen panse.

Mwen di sa a bon, kijan li mache? E pou kenbe enèji a kaotik, mwen voye li yon foto Lord Voldemort — men ak yon nen plen ak dan Britanik masif, ap ri tankou li jis fini yon repa nan yon pub e li kolonize yon bagay.

Li poko reponn depi lè sa a.

Sa a se jis. Men tou: ou pa ka mande mwen pou eksplore lespri a e pa atann mem yo sou sòti. 

Foto mwen voye a:

Jokes Community

👊

Bon maten

Mwen tankou

Yup...

Eske sa a vre???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Panse pou jounen an

Ki anime ki pi fou oswa enteresan ou te wè?

bon chans bliye je mwen, souri mwen, blag mwen, ak pawòl mwen

Paske mwen se yon moun ki renmen blag papa e mwen timoun anpil. 🙃

Mwen Gen Lannwit Mikwofon Ouvè 24/7

😄😄😄

Èske gen blag/fo ki soti depi nan kòmansman limanite ki toujou la