I had a major break through I wanted to share here if others have this type of attachment. online connections are the hardest I ever had to navigate in a long time. You don’t see these people every week you don’t really know them outside chatting while it’s common for ghosting to be a thing online I’ve encountered some people that helped me grow and develop patience where anxiety and fear made it impossible to message people first for fear of ghosting. But the friends you make online or the people you chat with aren’t always ignoring well in my case no one was ghosting me like I thought. I use to think that friendships were transient or temporary at least that’s what I always hear but I learned friends are one message away they don’t always reply as usual the rhythm of texting changes because the circumstances in your friends life changes some are stressed or depressed but they come back when they are ready it doesn’t mean they don’t care or that you’re not a priority it just means they don’t always have the energy to text as usual. this change in their texting from instant to delayed replies use to send me into a panic I would block people yell at them and tell them they don’t care about me and I would shut down emotionally when they did message me later it was a mess inside my mind. Friends aren’t temporary the seeds you plant 🌱 are not forgotten and the silence doesn’t mean you’re being abandoned it means they need space and your patience. I say this from friends I made here on boo that really challenged my anxiety and growth and I’m thankful for it so I hope it helps because I wish someone could of explained this I’m done measuring people’s intentions and care just because they go silent for a long time if I’m not blocked I think it’s safe to say I didn’t do or say anything wrong. some people just leave the app too I ended up emailing someone that left the app thinking they blocked me and that I did something wrong but they said I didn’t do anything wrong that they just left the app so it’s complicated to not take silence personal or to not get hurt when someone is no longer in your chats and we think we’re blocked and that we did something. I’m not saying that blocking doesn’t happen but I’m saying if the conversation is going well then there’s no reason to assume the worst keep connecting keep chatting and being patient with the friends or people that go silent but that return when they feel better to chat again. It’s easy to want to give up on chatting or connecting when some people don’t reply as usual or go silent but sometimes those people you chat with online just need your patience 🫰💖🪽🪽(besut)

Universe Community

The universe community, chat, and discussion.

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paling apik

anyar

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TL;DR?: OP realised that people aren't "Avoidant" they simply have a life to live. That was a breakthrough for them as they had anxiety over it.(besut)

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Glad you realised this. More people need to realise that even if most people spend time on their phone or computer it doesn't mean they always have the time or energy to be in a thoughtful conversation with you. People have a life to live. You won't always be talking everyday with your friends like you did back in highschool.

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Ketemu Wong Anyar

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Fearful Avoidant Attachment

Universe Community

TL;DR?: OP realised that people aren't "Avoidant" they simply have a life to live. That was a breakthrough for them as they had anxiety over it.(besut)

It sure gets easier when you realize everyone is in your life temporarily. Some might take a few messages, some others years, but eventually everyone drifts away.

I couldn't get through it. Too long

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