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Ace
Ace

1j

INFJ

Stier

How do you get past the notion that you are not worthy of having a girlfriend?

I always had this idea in my brain that I'm not good enough to have a girlfriend. That I'm ugly(I haven't found anyone that seem to show any interest in me.) And not successful enough to have do be in my life. How do I get past this ? It's really not attractive to be self pitying but I do not know how to drop that mindset. (bewerkt)

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Laura
Laura

1j

INFP

Tweeling

7
8

First you do deserve one. Second you are attractive from your photos.. Perhaps that is depression talking, maybe even seasonal or something different in combo with low self Esteem. You get past it doing baby steps at a time towards your goal of the type person you are looking for.... That is my assessment from just what you said. I could be wrong.

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Kitty
Kitty

1j

INTP

Stier

4
5

Well firstly, come to terms with the fact that beauty is subjective & you're not ugly.

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Chimera
Chimera

1j

INTJ

Kreeft

2
3

Cultivate a self you value. If you feel ugly, examine why. Explore ways of dressing and caring for yourself that make you feel attractive and content. Follow that process with each thing you struggle with, examine if a change in behavior (what you are doing) or mindset (how you think about what you do) is called for until happiness sneaks in. Keep looking for a partner, but spend just as much time caring for yourself too.

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noor
noor

1j

ENFJ

Waterman

I struggle the same. I think you already have a lot of valuable comments here. I could only say that it's a journey: you have to find out how and why you have this image of yourself. I can find many people who are not single and still are not that pretty, in today's standards. This is because it's all in our head... Im trying to work on my trauma myself and I get to understand the inner critique is actually a wounded child that didn't receive the love and care they needed... Now, I'm trying to work on myself, and give to myself the love I need and that I'm seeking into other people.

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