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Lily
Lily

14d

INFJ

Pisces

I feel like a robot

All of my life I have felt like I have to give guys what they want for them to like me. So I created this hyper sexual alter ego that I keep secret to everyone in my life. There is so much shame and guilt in that alter ego. Anytime I'm in a relationship, early on, I'm much more sexual and intimate because I feel like that's how I keep them interested in me. I hate how manipulative that makes me sound. It's not intentional, it's just what I feel I have to do. Then when I feel safe and comfortable with the, sexuality just goes out of the window and I don't instigate or seem interested in it really. Romantically, I have to think about it to be more intimate. It isn't a natural thing. There's just so much other things that my brain is trying to figure out. How to get through the day, how to be happy, how to stay positive, what I need to do later, what I should be doing right now. Everything is so stressful and I just constantly wish I was alone so I didnt have to stress about having sex anymore with anyone. But when I'm alone, that hyper sexual alter ego comes out...and it just repeats. Does anyone relate or have any idea what is going on?

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Alex
Alex

14d

INFP

Cancer

6
5

My ex was like that, a yr into the relationship she told me shes not like that n most intimacy just stopped and it hurt, i thought she didnt want me so if anythin doin this is prolly going to cause more damage in the long run, i dunno what to say to help alart from the typical just. Be honest. Not just to them but yourself. Mostly yourself, if you aint happy with somethin you might have to make changes, therapy is usually the best option for such deep seated issues. Im sorry youve jad to feel like this, its not fair on you or anyone really.

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Shu-shu
Shu-shu

14d

INFJ

Pisces

2
1

I highly recommend therapy and counseling for this ....you shouldn't continue like this and it sounds very damaging and severe. It sounds like a manifestation of people pleasing, and low self-esteem, but without further context we might not be able to determine exactly so that's why you should see someone If you're not already seeing a psychotherapist or a professional of some sort you should start now. The fact that you feel guilt and shame is a good sign though, and your awareness and acknowledgement of it, but changing it will take time and lots of conscious effort To answer your question I am sort of the opposite actually, I'm naturally very inclined to romance and intimacy, but I try to avoid flirting and when meeting someone new because I believe in that stuff only after marriage. And I want to properly get to know the person before any intimate things.

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2

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Lee
Lee

14d

ISFJ

Capricorn

All I can say is be yourself. I was stressing and went to talk to a therapist about all things rattling in my brain and causing stress and depression And you don't have to be intimate and sexual in a relationship all the time at least to me

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