I'm Running Out of Ideas

Question

Damn. I just had someone tell me, they were going to unmatch because I was "bombarding with questions" and they felt like they were being interrogated as a result. (They immediately proceeded to unmatch - I do appreciate the forward candor here give my social ineptitude with things at times)

I admit my style of communication the last couple years has been bouncing from question to question. Sometimes there's mutual discussion on the question or tangental topics that arise from them, but if I don't have anything to say about it then I just go to next question or wait for the other to ask/say something. 
I'll *especially* so this if the other person seems responsive seeming like they want to talk, but are also not asking me anything nor taking the lead in conversation of topics to gibber jabber about. So...

I've tried to change my comm style so many times. I even come right out and ask how someone would like to chat and most of the time (9/10) they don't know how to answer the question either. 
I'm starting to feel lost. I'm not sure I have any conversation styles to go to after decades of trying different ones.

How TF am I supposed to talk to people 😐

Ryan · Accepted Answer

It sounds like a mixture of people not being interested in you, offering nothing to the conversation, and/or maybe a lack of humor on your part? Could be wrong though. As far as how to start a conversation, start small and see how they reciprocate. Then build up and adjust as you see fit. Avoid shouldering the entire conversation on your shoulders. If they're not offering much, it's time to go or take a break at least. If they really cared, they'd show it through effort.

David U. · Answer

It's just the end result of having a disability, and hopefully you'll find someone that has patience to understand it's just comes natural for you to be the way you are.🤔

Rachel · Answer

I ask too many questions too and I’m autistic. I even put #20questions as an interest.

Lauryn 🦇 · Answer

I feel like at this point I’ve had to put out all my cards on the table to show people a good amount of who I am from the get go. To avoid issues like this. Being direct and if the qualities don’t align with yours it’s best to move on because the communication style will just end up making your brain hurt because it doesn’t match your own. It does seem like it’ll take forever to find someone special to you and you to them in vice versa but it will come around. Just gotta be you.

I'm Running Out of Ideas

Autismspectrum Community

It's just the end result of having a disability, and hopefully you'll find someone that has patience to understand it's just comes natural for you to be the way you are.🤔

I ask too many questions too and I’m autistic. I even put #20questions as an interest.

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