Clint

Posted Wednesday, March 15, 2023

1y

INTJ

Cancer

Gentleman vs. Gentle Dom

Gentle Dom vs. Gentleman From an outside perspective, these two titles seem to go hand in hand. But from someone who has been raised from birth to be one, and known from his teens that he was the other, I can tell you that they are nowhere near the same. And if you try to retain being a gentleman in this lifestyle, you are considered by others, and I don't mean other Doms, as weak. This is a damn shame. being raised in the south by strict parents and always made to show the proper respect to my elders, I learned at an early age that women should always be treated with respect. This was engrained in my psyche and to this day, I call women Ma'am as a symbol of that respect. This was a little harder when I moved to Chicago for a while (women up north don't like this term very much, LOL), but it never stopped me from doing what I was taught was * right *. So with that little bit of history in mind, I will tell you how I am today. I still open doors for women, old ladies, couples, hell, anybody that is behind me going through a door usually makes it in before I do. I am a gentleman. I will offer a woman my coat on a cold night, I will pull out her seat in a restaurant, I will open her car door and I will protect her from harm. Hell, my police record even says so, as I have been arrested two times for assault, and both times it was for protecting a defenseless woman from a man. I am not proud to have been arrested for this, but should the same type of situation occur, I will react the same way. I am a gentleman. Now, just like most of you around my age, when I first discovered my proclivities, there was no recognized forums or meetings of like minded people like there are now. I even felt a little like a freak because I knew exactly what I wanted from a woman, and I mean * exactly *. I wanted to control her. Not in a slave sense of the word, but I wanted her to relinquish control on her own. Willingly. I wanted her to fulfill my every sexual desire, not because I wanted her to, but because * She wanted to *. And as far as this is concerned, This is what I still want. Through the years, I have learned to master the art of dominating in the bedroom. Not through practice, but because it came naturally, and I was able to find willing partners who liked to surrender control in that area. Lucky me. Outside the bedroom, was a different story, I needed to let go of some of my gentlemanly tendencies and become more assertive. This didn't and still doesn't work for me. I am assertive as I feel I need to be, but I will always be a gentleman in public. I have expectations of subtle acts of submission that I look for in a partner, and the deeper the relationship goes, the more I expect. I always make this clear up front and as we settle into the relationship, it becomes more evident. I was asked by a partner once why I was not as demanding of her outside the bedroom. The only response I had for her was that my respect for women should always be visible by others as a standard for them to try to achieve. Lead by example and never waiver in these convictions. So here I sit, A gentle Dom at night, and a gentleman during the day. Trying to find a way to blur the lines. Wanting to be seen as both, but only showing what I was raised to show in the light, and behind closed doors, there is only an audience of one to see the me I want to be. Clark Kent..... I feel your pain. BK