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Universes
Posted Tuesday, July 23, 2024
4mo
INTP
Aries
Why I must abandon everyone.
I'm only going to say this once. Pay attention: The context of what is fulfilling and desirable is inextricably enmeshed with how my peers perceive me. It is such that even referring to myself in this way, to say "I" or "me" is humiliating. I had a dream once with motions like a play. -- In the first act, I watched a stage and its actors in their profound beauty. I took notes and illustrated my own spin on it. Believing I had done something worthwhile, I exceeded the role of spectator. -- In the second act, I put the book down and offered it to a friend. That is when I saw how silly it all looked on paper. His chuckling confirmed as much. "Give me the book," I said sternly, with the intention of mutilating what I had created beyond recognition. The specifics are missing because that information was lost upon waking up. It was irrelevant minutia anyway, like everything else. I think every creative pursuit for me has gone this way. The loneliness I feel is not, in fact, a longing to be together. It is a misnomer, instead being indicative of a strong desire to be seen, and heard, intelligibly. In a metaphorical sense, I must kill the voices I am surrounded by. They will take their last agonizing breath, they will fall silent, and what will remain is just me.
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Trin
4mo
ISFP
Capricorn
Do what you need to do to help yourself but completely isolating yourself can make things worse sometimes.
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