I've notice that a lot of guys don't send the first message on here, after sending love/liking people. Is there a particular reason? Is it suddenly lack of interest? Not knowing what to say? No judgement. Just curious. 😊 Edit: I'm talking about on apps like Boo that allow men to send the first message (unlike Bumble that doesn't allow them to) and asking in a general sense rather than about my profile specifically. (edited)

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Kristen

INFJ

Pisces

Guys just swipe on whomever might suit their fantasy and then wait to see if an OF girl will bite. They chum the waters so to speak. 🤣🤣

Zizo

INFP

Capricorn

As a guy, to answer your question, we get shy and/or don't wanna come off as creepy and pushy so we often avoid sending the first message hoping the girls do it first

Rob

INTP

Pisces

More men than women. So when a man sends the first message (and I have sent a few first messages on here) it can quite often get lost or.misjudged in the deluge of others that ladies get on sites like this so a lot of men think what's the point 🤷‍♂️

Richard

INFJ

Aquarius

If you are interested in the guy you can always send the first message, instead of always relying on the guys to make the first move. 😉

Jaws

INTJ

Taurus

Lot of dudes here send random likes to different girls and hopes one of them will accept. Not sure this applies to attractive dudes too or not🤔. Perhaps in your case they might of been shy or disappointed u matched back. I'm not sure cause not enough detail. Maybe they wanted u to text first to show some interest (edited)

Joshua Wilkins

INTJ

Scorpio

Your profile is very witty and fun to read. You might be intimidating some fellas who feel they can't match your wordsmith skills. I can't speak for everyone but I've always been attracted to intelligent women but not everyone is like that.

Daniel

ISFP

Leo

For me, it's tough to know what to send in the first message, especially if there's no information in someone's profile. Messages like 'Hi, how are you?' (and the multiple variations) are, in my experience, seen as lazy openers and are ignored at best. Also, because of the behaviour of some men, we are afraid of getting labelled as creepy/weird/desperate and would rather send nothing, rather than be labelled as something which may not be true. I would also estimate that women get far more messages than men (I apologise if that is a wrong assumption) so our messages, however well-written, get lost in the sheer amount of dull, dreary messages some people send. This is why I have, I think, a profile detailing some of my hobbies and interests, as well as (hopefully) the opportunity to create a thought-out response. I believe that if someone has nothing on their profile, then they will only give the absolute minimum in a relationship and probably isn't worth investing time/effort in. After all, it doesn't take long to list a few interests/hobbies you have.

Jordan

ESTJ

Virgo

Honestly we're just shy

Joseph

INTP

Leo

Tired of trying to start conversations, only for the other person to not be interested

Levi

INFP

Aquarius

It depends on their confidence. I always message first to get the ball rolling but this is an app marketed towards shy peeps. If guys hit you with a like, they’re probably shy girl! Nothing wrong giving em a good poke.

Guilherme

ISFP

Aquarius

I send a dm first to see if anything picks up when I find something in common that we both like, but I tend to just send love to see if the other person matches back, if they dont... well, I dont think they want anything with me Plus I'm rather shy and not knowing what to say lol

Michael

INFP

Sagittarius

If I send a "like" then I wait for a match before messaging. I don't wanna seem too desperate and I wanna save those coins to message someone I see in the "for you" section, or to send a message to someone when I'm out of "likes."

Sidd

INTJ

Aries

Some forget while waiting for a match and some are sick of not getting replies to first message. We already made the first move by wanting to match imo. It is up to you to proceed further if you like us. Or don't match. (edited)

Martin

ISTJ

Libra

Mostly thinking "yo, this is an opportunity, can't afford to ruin it by sending sth weird" and then proceeding in ruining it by never sending anything 🤷‍♂️

Jaycee

ENFP

Libra

My reasoning for this is I dont want to come off as creepy and needy. I’ve had a fair share of me messaging first but ended up looking like I’m too pushy. I’m not really sure if the other party is just playing “hard to get” or genuinely not interested.

Fae

INTP

Leo

In my experience guys almost never make the first move. It's kind of annoying.

Kadeem

ISFP

Aquarius

Hi actual male here. It's because we are tired of either no responses or just straight up rejection. So what's the point? (edited)

Ubaid

INTJ

Scorpio

Introvert yk

Blake

ENFP

Leo

I always text first when I match with someone, occasionally I send a message with a like when I come across someone who really stands out to me but I never expect any replies. Is just the norm these days not saying guys don’t also ghost/not reply but overall most matches or messages will never be acknowledged 🤷‍♂️

Doug

ENTP

Gemini

Why do you assume it's the guys job to send the first message? You're talking about a situation where they like you and then you like them and match so your obviously the first one that knows there's a match. So why dont you send them a message? And why wouldn't someone assume that you're not motivated if you don't? It seems like woman do themselves a disservice by pretending gender roles from the 1950s are still valid.

Lane Worley

INFP

Libra

A lot of the time, at least in my case, it is because I either am no socially awkward as hell and don't want to put my foot in my mouth or because I don't want to seem pushy and then scare the person I think looks cool away. Also, constant radio silence, whether intended or not, can be discouraging

Keil

ISTP

Gemini

Honestly, what I think it is is a mix of nerves, fear of being left on read, and not knowing what to say.

Wayne

INTJ

Capricorn

I can’t comment on the others but I can say I am still learning how this site works and I hope this gets to the right person. I don’t know how to go from heart to chatting.

Michael Salt

INTP

Aries

For me, every time I have sent a message first I have never received a reply. And every time that happens, it REALLY disincentivises the thought of continuing to try. I’m shy, and this whole process is very scary to me. Especially since all of my past interactions have been negative. But what choice to I have but to keep trying, and hope someone that I like is going to see my value? Men are always expected to initiate, and then when you do it gets ignored, leaving you to wonder what’s the point? Your efforts can only go unrewarded for so long before you start wanting some reciprocity.

Aaron

INTJ

Libra

For me, I’m too nervous to speak first: a simple ‘hello’ seems too simple, and anything more wordy might seem too presumptuous.

Ian

INTP

Cancer

Fear of rejection. That and I don't ever màtch with anyone so.... Yea.

Adrian

ENFJ

Sagittarius

As I guy I think it is hard to break the ice sometimes since most of the time it feels if I make the first move message it gets lost and never responded

Simon

ENFJ

Scorpio

When a guy comes to a bar, sees a girl he likes, buys two drinks, prepare an introduction line, approaches to this girl and she’s not interested she’s provably going to say “ don’t even think about it” the guy will accept the drink even if he’s not interested. I hope this answers your question. 🙂

Tiewaz

INTJ

Virgo

Honestly, before I'm done even trying to browse what's available I have enough messages already to keep me busy. I don't always get to them all. Then you are mad because I don't reply. After hate messages I don't want to reply.

Michael

ISTP

Pisces

It’s exhausting. I tell myself “maybe later”, but of course I never get around to it. And then too much time has passed, to the point that it would feel awkward to start messaging someone after such a long delay. (edited)

Rusty Shackleford

INTP

Aries

I can either send a message or I can like. It doesn't let me do both

Danny

ISTJ

As others said, some of us are shy, and I have a feeling that quite a few of us second guess ourselves, and are concerned about how any message will be interpreted, whether it's a simple message to be nice or a more thought-out one based of the person's profile. (edited)

Chris

INTP

Cancer

I didn't know how to message for awhile , technology is fun but really needs more manuals

Matthew

ENFP

Leo

I don't message because I didn't really get any replies. And then I ran out of credits to actually text people. For some reason my bank isn't allowing payments . This is why I like but don't text

Jason Dolphay

ISFJ

Aquarius

I might like first and accept. Though i stopped saying hi/hello why cause its womans game if ahe isn't willing to start any conversation am i holding her hostage? Am i gonna have to start every conversation for now on? Does she even like me or am i just likeable? Do we have any compatibility? Well, since i get autoblocked cause of my pets. She needs to show me she likes me without going over the deep end. Ok rant over.

Andrew

ENTJ

Pisces

Your profile is perfectly fine. Unfortunately, you and I are very far apart distance-wise, which makes things difficult. Otherwise, you seem like a wonderful person and quite beautiful.

Rafael

INFP

Taurus

I'm assuming you matched a bunch of guys and they didn't message you first, correct? I honestly cannot think of a better way for you to solve this besides asking them... Why didn't you? No judgement. Just curious... (edited)

Sean

INFP

Pisces

I usually try to start the convo first, but depending on how responsive the other person is, I won't know how to keep it going. Maybe it's something similar for orher guys? (edited)

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22 votes

A question for the guys out there:

Curiosity Community

Guys just swipe on whomever might suit their fantasy and then wait to see if an OF girl will bite. They chum the waters so to speak. 🤣🤣

As a guy, to answer your question, we get shy and/or don't wanna come off as creepy and pushy so we often avoid sending the first message hoping the girls do it first

More men than women. So when a man sends the first message (and I have sent a few first messages on here) it can quite often get lost or.misjudged in the deluge of others that ladies get on sites like this so a lot of men think what's the point 🤷‍♂️

If you are interested in the guy you can always send the first message, instead of always relying on the guys to make the first move. 😉

Your profile is very witty and fun to read. You might be intimidating some fellas who feel they can't match your wordsmith skills. I can't speak for everyone but I've always been attracted to intelligent women but not everyone is like that.

Honestly we're just shy

Tired of trying to start conversations, only for the other person to not be interested

It depends on their confidence. I always message first to get the ball rolling but this is an app marketed towards shy peeps. If guys hit you with a like, they’re probably shy girl! Nothing wrong giving em a good poke.

I send a dm first to see if anything picks up when I find something in common that we both like, but I tend to just send love to see if the other person matches back, if they dont... well, I dont think they want anything with me Plus I'm rather shy and not knowing what to say lol

If I send a "like" then I wait for a match before messaging. I don't wanna seem too desperate and I wanna save those coins to message someone I see in the "for you" section, or to send a message to someone when I'm out of "likes."

Some forget while waiting for a match and some are sick of not getting replies to first message. We already made the first move by wanting to match imo. It is up to you to proceed further if you like us. Or don't match. (edited)

Mostly thinking "yo, this is an opportunity, can't afford to ruin it by sending sth weird" and then proceeding in ruining it by never sending anything 🤷‍♂️

My reasoning for this is I dont want to come off as creepy and needy. I’ve had a fair share of me messaging first but ended up looking like I’m too pushy. I’m not really sure if the other party is just playing “hard to get” or genuinely not interested.

In my experience guys almost never make the first move. It's kind of annoying.

Hi actual male here. It's because we are tired of either no responses or just straight up rejection. So what's the point? (edited)

Introvert yk

A lot of the time, at least in my case, it is because I either am no socially awkward as hell and don't want to put my foot in my mouth or because I don't want to seem pushy and then scare the person I think looks cool away. Also, constant radio silence, whether intended or not, can be discouraging

Honestly, what I think it is is a mix of nerves, fear of being left on read, and not knowing what to say.

I can’t comment on the others but I can say I am still learning how this site works and I hope this gets to the right person. I don’t know how to go from heart to chatting.

For me, I’m too nervous to speak first: a simple ‘hello’ seems too simple, and anything more wordy might seem too presumptuous.

Fear of rejection. That and I don't ever màtch with anyone so.... Yea.

As I guy I think it is hard to break the ice sometimes since most of the time it feels if I make the first move message it gets lost and never responded

Honestly, before I'm done even trying to browse what's available I have enough messages already to keep me busy. I don't always get to them all. Then you are mad because I don't reply. After hate messages I don't want to reply.

It’s exhausting. I tell myself “maybe later”, but of course I never get around to it. And then too much time has passed, to the point that it would feel awkward to start messaging someone after such a long delay. (edited)

I can either send a message or I can like. It doesn't let me do both

As others said, some of us are shy, and I have a feeling that quite a few of us second guess ourselves, and are concerned about how any message will be interpreted, whether it's a simple message to be nice or a more thought-out one based of the person's profile. (edited)

I didn't know how to message for awhile , technology is fun but really needs more manuals

I don't message because I didn't really get any replies. And then I ran out of credits to actually text people. For some reason my bank isn't allowing payments . This is why I like but don't text

Your profile is perfectly fine. Unfortunately, you and I are very far apart distance-wise, which makes things difficult. Otherwise, you seem like a wonderful person and quite beautiful.

I'm assuming you matched a bunch of guys and they didn't message you first, correct? I honestly cannot think of a better way for you to solve this besides asking them... Why didn't you? No judgement. Just curious... (edited)

I usually try to start the convo first, but depending on how responsive the other person is, I won't know how to keep it going. Maybe it's something similar for orher guys? (edited)

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Just out of curiosity who started this movement of “women be the ones to make the first move”? Don’t be scared of rejection, we (most of us) deal reasonably.

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