Posted Monday, April 21, 2025
1yWhen men & women complain about being lonely
I notice on here that men and women are more sympathetic to women that post about being lonely/depressed and not being able to find a partner while almost no-one is sympathetic to men that do the same. The typical reaction to women is comments of support, encouragement, praise about their looks, offers of private chat, offers of willingness to date them. The typical reaction to men that complain of the same loneliness/ depression is that they will never find a woman who will date them when they post complaints like this, that they need to get better, have more self esteem, with no real praise to them about who they are, their looks, or anything personalized to them other than telling them they're essentially being negative. Do men not deserve to be supported in this manner? Are we expected to handle our own struggles in private? Just something to think about.
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Youre not wrong Jeff. I think the way society treats male vulnerability is deeply unfair. Women are socially conditioned to nurture, but that doesnt extend to men unless they are already seen as desirable. Its messed up, and it leaves men with few safe places to be vulnerable. But I also think part of that is because men have also been taught that vulnerability is a weakness, and not taught to build emotional support systems with other men. I think the solution starts with men to stop tearing down other men, and building communities where they are valued beyond status or stoicism.
Consider it a double standard some people have, itโs important to recognise and be aware of it, but focus on yourself and what makes you productive and happy, interact with people and seek your group. Youโre going to feel sad and lonely at times, I sure do. But itโs important to let those feelings come and go, Balance it with the kind things you personally like to do and be yourself. Thatโs something intrinsic to you no one here can copy.
Sympathetic? You mean empathetic? Actually, it might be a combination of both. Empaths are a comical breed, though, cause they're almost never even close to that to begin with ๐คฃ. I wonder if is this related to social conditioning about how men are supposed to be tough and resilient regardless, or is this connected to something deeper, like women are actually less empathetic and sympathetic in certain areas than men?
Just stop complaining and DO something about it , instead asking for โdeservingโ one thing or another with ppl you dont know. ๐คท๐ปโโ๏ธ
Feel you
I'm sure this does happen the majority of the time, but not always. I have myself commented for men not to give up or give them some positive message. It really depends on how a person posts, but I'll agree women do get more of a positive reaction. This happens for many reasons but I hope people can be more positive in general.
Personally I would react the same way towards a man or a woman but yes, women do get more attention on socials.. that's just an unfortunate truth. Mostly, however, the type of comments you speak of, that are aimed at men, come from other men. Women tend to try support one another, in these specific situations. Some guys are still stuck in their toxic masculinity and the Tate followers won't help things improve any time soon. (edited)
Double standards are everywhere. I take the time to block the people who encourage double standards, but there will always be more. You can't expect people to care about your feelings or thoughts. In fact, I expect people to entirely disrespect how I think and feel. That's the norm. Most people are selfish, so they will only offer support if they believe doing so would directly benefit themselves. If someone offers support and say that they don't expect anything in return, or say that they want to help because it's the right thing to do: that's extremely suspicious, and those are the kind of people that get rejected. Simply by being on an app like this, it displays that you are desperate for something. Most women aren't interested in a desperate man, so you lose simply by trying. But as you've seen, seemingly desperate women tend to get a lot of attention. Often, the wrong kind of attention. It is tempting to envy them, but please don't. If you seek, you will likely never find. The realest connections usually happen by accident; you often cannot do anything to speed up the process. Focus on becoming emotionally independent. Once you are able to be completely content, satisfied, and happy all by yourself without needing anyone else in your life... that is when people will want to have you in their life.
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