Holiday

Posted Monday, September 12, 2022

1y

INFJ

Sagittarius

7

8

Are you afraid of love?

General, I know. Could be read in many ways. I'm thinking about like this; Is there any reason/story/excuse you tell yourself (be it a convincing or not arguement) that keeps you at superficial levels of relationships? Are you unwilling to be open, honest or vulnerable with others? Do you lack the effort or commitment to help create something meaningful? Is there something you avoid or hold back from when bonding with people? Can I hear your story. Both, the story you tell yourself that protects you from a proper love and the story for why. I don't understand why it is that when bad things happen to us with others we conclude that the solution is to take away the good thing (love) and choose suffering and no growth. We punish ourselves for doing something brave. Even if it doesn't work out, especially then, we take from it poor resolve. Which doesn't make sense... if you crave meaningful connection with someone, why stop trying to experience it, why enhance the chances of another hurtful experience for all parties involved? Why do we corrupt our love if love is what we long for... over some hurt feelings? That's not to devalue traumatic experiences, but trauma isn't special. Everyone has trauma. Growth from trauma and HOW you handle it... now that's compelling and alluring. That makes sense. You can simply learn "hmm I sure get told that a lot or experience this a lot maybe I should look at that and it would resolve some of my issues here." Rather than say "they get upset everytime I go out on the weekend, i dont need to text them, I'm just with friends! I'm not doing anything wrong. God why are all women/men so controlling?! What an asshole. I'm done with this." Idk. I'm just curious. What's your compelling story and why does it work to keep you away from intimacy, bonding or any form of love?