For over a decade, i let my childhood trauma get the best of me. In that time I have no success stories when it comes to my social life. Seen my closest friends, family and significant others push me away for this reason and I'm just so, so tired of it. I'm making so much progress in life, but my mental health and loneliness are eating me alive. I'm seeking counseling and therapy but but my appointments aren't for another few weeks and I don't know who else to talk to. Everytime I try to open up to someone, it's too overwhelming for them and they push me away. I'm so tired of everything... I just want to enjoy life again.

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Dex

INTP

Pisces

Hey my man. I get your struggle. I'm not saying I've lived your life. So, I don't know you. But trust me when I say you're not alone in the phenomenon you've been experiencing in your life. I know saying that doesn't make anything better, it doesn't fix the problem. I just want you know that you're a part of a large group of lonely hurt individuals with no real voice in this current paradigm of society. It is hard. And most likely throughout the rest of your life interactions, you will never meet anyone that can hold the weight of what you've been through. That being said, you're doing the right thing with setting up therapy. It will help. Remember it's just a tool. Even your therapist won't have all the answers. Your trauma, your experience: Is the bedrock and foundation of a man's story untold in this current state of life as we know it. Own it. Take it and sit in your throne and know that it is the pillar that will make you stronger than most because deep down, they couldn't withstand the pressure the way you have. Search. Do the work. Find the meaning of your story for yourself, find that knowledge that solely rests in your spirit and use it to power a belief you can stand for. It doesn't have to be big, it just has to be yours. No one in your future will ever truly understand, and most won't be able to accept just how much you've been molded by your trauma of your past. Learn not to fault them for it. Find solace in the fact that, because of what you've been through, you're spiritually bred to be able to help others deal with their problems, because deep down you know just how good they have it. You alone can help shed light on the lives of others because you've been through darkness they've only heard about in stories and movies. Take the time needed in learning not to fight the past anymore. Own it. It's your darkness, it's your fuel. It will be hard and you will feel weak. But if you work at it, there will be days it will empower you. Just like anything else in life, it will take practice to wield, so have patience with yourself. It takes however long it needs to and no less. You got this, brother. (edited)

Leon Allen

ISFJ

Libra

Oh wow thanks for the share.

Jamie

8mo

INFJ

Libra

I just saw this post. How are you doing now, Leo? Better I hope.

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Firewall

ENFP

Gemini

I believe there is something wrong with me, but by that logic there is something wrong with most people

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Trece Baker

25d

ISTJ

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Trece Baker

23d

ISTJ

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