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Universes
Posted Monday, September 16, 2024
17d
INFP
Taurus
"Can Men and Women Truly Ever Be Just Friends?"
I often wonder if men and women can really be just friends. I’d like to believe it’s possible, and I do have a couple of guy friends who seem to fit that mold. But honestly, they feel more like the exception than the rule. It’s frustrating because sometimes it’d be great to have a male friend who doesn’t have any hidden agenda or feel entitled to more of me—my time, my attention, my body—than what’s appropriate for a friendship. For example, I met this one guy for a couple dates, but I quickly realized we wouldn’t be compatible (relationshipwise).No harm there. We shared some interests though, so I thought, "Why not stay friends?" He even said he wasn’t ready for a relationship and that being friends would be better because he didn’t want to risk messing things up. Fair enough, right? Except he’d still occasionally try to turn it into a “friends with benefits” situation, despite me being very clear from the start that I was not interested in those kinds of relationships. He’d act like he understood, but would circle back to testing those boundaries again. Fast forward to when I actually started a relationship. Suddenly, this guy, who had been messaging me daily under the pretense of friendship, became more interested in what I was doing with my boyfriend. He’d constantly ask where we were going, what we were doing, and the details of my relationship. When I finally asked him why, he brushed it off with, “Just making conversation.” But the thing is, we could talk about anything else. Why that? Almost like clockwork, after a bit of this weirdness, I stopped hearing from him altogether. So, I can’t help but wonder—was I mistaken in thinking we were ever really friends? Or did he just want something more all along but didn’t want the responsibility of a relationship? Instead of being honest, was he just hanging around, hoping I’d eventually let my guard down? So, I’m back to the question: can men and women truly be friends? #relationshipadvice #friends #psychology #humans #life #relationship
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18
Comment
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13K SOULS
Luckie
17d
ESTP
Taurus
Yes, 💯. Friends have fun, loads of fun. They hold hands, watch movies, eat out, go for long drives, party late at night, sleep under the same roof, and what not. They can do everything, but they don’t kiss or get involved in any physical stuff. They have their own individual lives, partners, and opinions. Friends are friends, and there’s always a boundary. One must never cross that limit. Friendship is special, worthy and wholesome. A friend might even know more than a loving partner at times. And you know what, if someone think such a relationship doesn’t exist in this world, then there's something wrong with their mindset or conditioning. I have such great old friends that now, since they’re married, their husbands drop them off at my place so they can enjoy some lone time! There's nothing bigger than trust, trust is everything.
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0
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Z
17d
INFP
Leo
😔😔
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0
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Matthew
15d
INTJ
Taurus
I reread this post again, and I think you answered the problem in the 3rd paragraph. I didn't explain what I meant yesterday good enough but, men and women can be friends, but normally once they start dating the friendships tend to come after the romantic relationship. Some friendships completely end and not always on bad terms. It depends on both people involve really, people decide what is best for them. Again sorry for my poor explanation yesterday.
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☀🌿 𝘓𝘶𝘤𝘢𝘴 🌿☀
16d
INTP
Sagittarius
1:10
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0
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Chris
15d
INFP
Pisces
I think what you already wrote contains your answer. The fact that your "friend" was male was not the problem. His deception was the problem. Hiding motives and lying can be killers of friendships and romantic relationships. Not everyone is deceptive about their intentions. Maybe it just comes down to risk versus reward and enforcing clear boundaries.
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Rich
17d
ESFJ
Virgo
It IS possible but as you discovered there is a very fine line. I have someone I met for a date 25 years ago, we knew it would be nothing more than friendship and so it remains. There was another that I had assumed we were "just friends" as we would hang out, go to festivals etc and never, ever was anything more than a hello or goodbye hug. One afternoon I was telling her about someone I had met and was 'love struck' and she broke down saying she wanted me all along. I told her to leave my apartment and never spoke again. To me it felt like she had been lying to me all that time. (edited)
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0
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Will AJ
16d
INTJ
Cancer
It definitely is possible but that doesn't mean all are capable of it. Weither it be people forming romantic feelings due to being starved of recognition (something quite for young men but can be either), the allure of exploiting the others feelings by leading them on, or etc. A platonic relationship requires both disciple (as to not give into to temporary Passions) and each to be secure in their identities (allowing them to better understand the nature of their feelings towards eachother).
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