The Games That Made Me (Part 11)

Moving back into my parents’ home wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. The house felt alive and warm (mainly because the heating was on, whereas I’d rather freeze). I had my siblings to talk to and play video games with. I definitely had more respect for my parents — living on your own does that — and I didn’t challenge their authority as much anymore, although I’m sure I was still an arsehole fairly frequently. The biggest change was money. Obviously, I gave some to my parents, but I still had so much disposable income. I should have used it wisely — maybe learned to drive — but I didn’t. Driving lessons can cost anywhere from £25–£45, which is more than I spend on bus tickets in a week. I know I moan a lot about public transport, but it’s never failed to get me where I need to go — it just takes longer. So what did I do with my extra money? I handed it to the barman in exchange for alcohol! Quite frequently, to be honest. But it was cheap, and happy hours were there to be exploited. I don’t remember much of my drunken exploits, but I did take a lot of photos. My siblings happily remind me of all the various places I passed out around the house — mainly the bathroom. Yes, I know this is meant to be a gaming blog — I’m just setting the scene. The console I want to talk about today is Nintendo’s Wii, the one I probably sunk the most money into. I can’t quite remember if it arrived by stork or as a Christmas present for everyone. Compared to other consoles at the time, it wasn’t much to look at, and it definitely wasn’t plug-and-play — there was a bit of setup involved. The home screen was clean and functional, everything lined up neatly in a grid. I liked it because it never felt cluttered and got the job done. The Wii Remote was nice (for lack of a better word), like a mix between a TV remote and an NES controller. Nintendo went a bit overboard with controllers, though. The Wii Remote alone wasn’t enough — you had the Wii Remote Plus (with MotionPlus built in; before that, you had to buy the attachment separately), the Nunchuk, the Classic Controller (and probably another model too), and the Wii Balance Board. There were accessories as well, like the Wii Zapper and Wii Wheel. Thankfully, some games let you use GameCube controllers. Yes, the Wii could play GameCube games — a feature I rarely used, since those games were either sold off or buried somewhere in the attic next to the Holy Grail and the Zack Snyder cut of The Godfather. Let’s talk games. In total, 1,265 titles were released in the US. I couldn’t find a number for the UK, but I didn’t dig too deep. Many were good — but a lot were awful. You could usually tell the bad ones from the cover. You can’t always judge a book by its cover, but you can judge a Wii game that way. The main reason for the surplus of bad games was the Wii’s massive success and broad appeal. Companies were churning out shovelware, hoping people would buy without checking reviews. The first game everyone played was Wii Sports — a game so powerful it broke TVs (well, it was more that Wii Remotes flew out of hands and embedded themselves into screens and walls). Nintendo quickly started issuing wrist straps for the remotes. Wii Sports included five games — tennis, baseball, bowling, golf, and boxing — all played by mimicking real-life motions. I wasn’t a fan of baseball or boxing (they were a bit hit-and-miss — pun intended), but the others were much better, and my family got very competitive, especially with golf. WarioWare: Smooth Moves was another family favourite. It’s a party game full of frantic mini-games where you hold the Wii Remote in weird ways to perform actions. It was a blast to play and remains one of my stepdad’s favourite games. The one thing that made the Wii excel was also what held it back — the controller. Mario Kart Wii used tilt controls to steer, but even with the Wii Wheel, it never felt quite right. Thankfully, you could use other controllers. Aside from that, it’s one of the best entries in the series. The Wii is very much a multiplayer console — best enjoyed with others. There were plenty of single-player games like The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword and Super Mario Galaxy, but I rarely played them due to work and nights out with friends. I did play some solo games, though. Zack & Wiki: Quest for Barbaros’ Treasure is a point-and-click adventure where you solve puzzles to reach treasure in each level. It’s technically single-player, but best enjoyed with siblings shouting conflicting advice at you (though that’s debatable). No More Heroes is one of my favourite series, and its first entry debuted on the Wii. You play as Travis Touchdown, an assassin with a beam katana (definitely not a lightsaber), aiming to become the number-one assassin. The game has an open world you explore on foot or on your Schpeltiger — a modified scooter as long as a limousine — visiting shops (for T-shirts and moves), doing part-time jobs, and facing bosses. It’s been re-released on other consoles if you don’t fancy shaking your Wii Remote to recharge your weapon. Go play it — and become number one. Another thing I loved was the Virtual Console, which let you download classics from the NES, SNES, Game Boy, N64, Game Boy Advance, DS, and even Sega’s Master System, Genesis, and Game Gear, NEC’s TurboGrafx-16, and SNK’s Neo Geo. Each game had to be bought individually — a subscription service would have made more sense in hindsight. Unfortunately, everything you bought was tied to that console and couldn’t be transferred, which was a major oversight. There was also WiiWare, where you could download indie games through the Wii Shop Channel. The ones I remember include World of Goo, Art of Balance, and Strong Bad’s Cool Game for Attractive People (you absolutely must play that one). I know I’ve missed plenty of Wii games (like Boom Blox), but the reason is simple: money. I mostly bought games to impress my younger siblings and be the “cool big brother.” I’m not sure how successful I was — or where that Wii ended up — but I hope it’s somewhere being loved as much as it deserves.