Isolation

I dont have interest in that. I honestly don't even have interest in text, but I prefer text to videocalls with strangers. That's never once gone well for me.

@Snags I'm sorry its like that :( i do hope your world gets better tho

I dont ever want to be touched, but I do want to have a conversation, or see someone aside from a medical professional or the pharmacist or people walking by in the store. I've been "surviving this misery" for years.

@Snags i know exactly what you mean, trust me. In my house it's just me. My parents come to see me and some family but it always seems like something is missing from the picture and a part of me cries out for it every day. I keep myself distracted, but it's not a long-term solution.

@Cody I don't have family, or friends. I just moved here and haven't been able to find a job, so I know literally 0 people. No coworkers, no locals, nothing. Even my doctors visits are all telehealth. I've lived alone for the past 17 years. The last "hang out" I had, was a school kayak trip, that 4 people went on, and we were all in our own single person kayaks so there wasn't any conversation. Before that, I played d&d a couple times back in spring of 2019.

@Snags i have family but not many that I can share things I enjoy with. I have friends but they are very old friends from my high school days who have lives of their own now and I see them maybe one time a year. Some times they go on trips together and I have no idea they planned anything - I handle it fairly okay, though. For a while I didn't get to see them at all for reasons I never learned about but likely had to do with me saying or doing something that someone didn't like. I'm very lucky if I actually get to see them. I don't even go to the doctor. I don't really want to go - i'm afraid they'll put me on something that will give me more problems or what little money I make away from me. I'm forced into getting a check up once a year so that I don't pay double for insurance I don't even use because for a while not having it meant paying a fine that got more expensive every year. I tell them nothing. One thing I understand clearly is this: you can have family, you can have friends, and these things are certainly important, but even for me it's still not quite enough. You need reasons to be optimistic, whatever that reason might be, and it can be different for different people. I'm pretty sure I know what's effecting me, but like anything that means taking a chance, and chances are scary, and I can lose a lot even thoigh I sometimes feel like I don't really have much.

@Cody I don't have a choice about the doctor, I'm terminally ill and recently disabled

@Snags that's very unfortunate. Maybe you can pull enough strength to see it through. Sometimes memories however small are things that serve as reminders that you might have found enjoyment in certain things. Sometimes we need those to remind ourselves that we have had our better times, and be thankful for having had them. Times like now are definitely when you need those the most. In some cases, it's all we really have.

@Cody I don't think you can "pull strength" to "get through" heart failure, nerve damage or muscle degeneration.

@Snags it will kill you, yeah... but you do owe it to yourself to see it through to the end - you have to be dignified for yourself, in either case. No one wants it, but like you said, you don't really have a choice.

@Cody I mean... obviously I'm going to live until I die?

@Snags right. All you can do is what's in your power until that point. It may not seem like much but you do have SOME choice, even if it's not much.

Unfortunately that's highly unlikely, and I will be more and more isolated going into winter months.

@Snags without knowing the full extent of the situation or the limitations of your circumstances, all I can say is that I hope you find some operable solution that alleviates some of this hurt between now and then.

@Rob the limitations are I can no longer leave my house and most cases can't leave a single room. I moved here less than a month ago. I know no people. I have no friends. I have no family. I am alone, and without any way to meet or interact with people.

Yeah, but I don't know anyone. I don't have friends, I don't have family, there is noone who wants to be with me, because noone knows I exist. I AM alone, I've been isolated for most of my life.

@Snags well if its not too much what happened?also im sry that youve lost so much?but hey ppl that talk to me or around me ill always be an ear and there for ya i dont got much and dont expect anything take your time things will turn around eventually itll be okay

@Jesse I don't know what you mean by what happened. I'm also not certain what you mean by having lost so much?

@Snags “dont know anyone,dont have friends,dont have family,no one wants to be with me,no one knows i exist”

idk what happened but im sry losimg so much because idk how you dont have all that well i do but id rather not assume yk

@Jesse I never had it to begin with. You can't lose something you don't have.

@Snags why not?were you an orphan?

@Jesse my "family" were extremely abusive, sexist, misogynistic, racist, homophobic, transphobic, "high class" rich white people who bought a baby as a status symbol. I raised myself while they played golf and insulted minorities. They believe women shouldn't have educations and should only sit quietly and make babies and only exist for rich white men's pleasures. They believe that any disability or illness is grounds for death, anything other than rich white people, should die. They're extreme and horrible and I want nothing to do with them. So sure. I have "family" that I haven't associated with in 20 years and if they were dead, I wouldn't know.

@Snags ohh..well im sorry ik saying it doesnt help but still thats…oof thats rough…but im glad your out of that but dont apy that to your whole life itll make it hard to feel for others

@Jesse what.

@Snags sry im confusing haha but i should prolly stop talking before i say sum that can be taken the wrong way

@Jesse I have no idea what your last message said at all.

Not a fan of media, that includes audio and video.

@Snags why like what about it was there a bad experience

@Julian Lopez I really don't want to discuss it.