An Involvement

This is so cute. I can't wait to tell you about it. I was just wiping the floor with some tissue paper, when all of a sudden there was a small, long-hair-thin-legged little spider, running limping or waddling towards the corner with that waddling move that this type of hair-thin long legged spiders would have, literally running just like a little jumping kid. It was so cute and adorable, although I knew it was scared. I could almost imagine what sounds it would make, had it worn little shoes, or been able to speak. In fact, there was another time a few months ago, when I was packing, and there was this same type of hair-thin long legged spider, only that time it was pure white. I was kind of afraid of bugs, so my first reaction was to try to hurry up and get rid of it, but it started to run as fast as it could (although still slow from my view) and also so due its long legs, it was waddling. It ran to the suitcase handle groove (which was like a small cave to it), and the it hid there. I could feel it as if it was shaking. Immediately I wanted to burst out crying. How could I ever possibly want to kill such a little fella, a little thing, who then suddenly felt no different from me, my kind: a little child ran hiding there and shaking because it was scared. Now when I see a long legged spider, I just let it be. They weave thin little webs to catch small flying bugs. I wonder what they feel all day as they sit still on their webs all the time every day, not moving a muscle. What is it like to be such a little spider? They surrender their existence, their life, entirely to the universe - all they can do is weave such a little web, and let the universe decide all the rest, deciding when a little bug will fly into their web, and when their web will be broken by an incident. All they can do is sit in the middle of their web and wait, wait for the unfolding, wait for grace, wait for guidance. Their days are spent in this completely still meditative waiting of utmost patience. So what exactly must it be like being such a little spider? When I take a walk outside, I sometimes would see a flying bug, such as a butterfly, land somewhere in front of me, and it lingers long enough for sometime, and then after a while, at one point, it flutters its wings anew and flies away. Suddenly once I got deeply involved in this question that had never come to me before: "What" is it exactly that makes it decide, to stop resting at that specific point in its rest, and get up to leave? I enhaled this question deep in like taking in a deep breathe, my lungs and capillaries processed it, but I couldn't let out an equal answer. "What exactly is it, that made the little insect decide, at that specific point during its rest, that it should take off and fly away?" The last little spider I saw at one corner of the living room just a couple of days ago, has left there, and its little web is also no where to be seen. I can almost picture this cute little scene in my mind, where this little spider decides, after a few days of staying, that it's too close to its neighbor and so isn't a good enough spot, so it takes out a suitcase and packs its stuff and web and carries it and roams on around the apartment to find a new place to sit. Although it shouldn't be for me to worry, but I genuinely insist that the universe make sure that little fella gets fed, and let it have a wonderful spider monk life. I look forward to seeing it somewhere else in here soon. #philosophy #literature #writing #thinking #infp #4w5 #infj #english #spirituality (edited)