Now I'm in the part sooo tired of being my self

Idk, but is it because you have given in too much all this time? Taking on too much that I shouldn't even be able to? Or maybe you force yourself too hard to always be fine? On the other hand, I want to be like other women... to be pampered... to be provided for, to be loved... not just me who does everything to other people... when other people have a house that is actually a home, even I myself, when did my real home disappear and why am I not aware of that loss?