Posted Saturday, June 24, 2023
3yLearning to Love myself
I recently went through a really hard breakup 💔. My ex even decided to tell me that he loves me and I was so perfect but since i was his first gf he didn't want to marry the first girl he was with and he wants to "see what's put there" well the grass is not always greener... I think he will have a hard time finding another woman who was willing to support him financially since he doesn't work, doesn't have kids, didn't complain about never being taken out, and goes the gym and works out and plays basketball with him all day long... not to mention bringing him breakfast in bed and cooking him dinner or having anything he wanted delivered.... but to be honest with you all... im truly worried about him 😞 I don't think anyone will understand him like I did ... he has mental health issues and he comes off as weird to everyone but I understood him and made a comfortable space for him... so for him to break my heart after everything I did and supported him its truly heartbreaking... I don't really know why I can't seem to find a good guy who I can love and just will love me back but I think ill stick to myself for awhile and just focus on me again.. .I was single for 5 years before this so I don't mind putting myself first again.
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It seems like you were in a relationship where you acted like a parent, providing financial support and pandering to his every whim, while he didn't have a job and you virtually took care of everything Despite your understanding and support, he decided to explore other options and possibly used you for a comfortable lifestyle. It's understandable that you feel hurt and concerned, but it's important to prioritize yourself and stop trying to fix someone else at the expense of your own well-being He may have manipulated the situation and grown tired of pretending, keeping up the facade of a concocted personality that fitted your requirements. I wouldn't be surprised for this to be a little scheme of a power play and attempt toying with your mind in order to emotionally blackmail you into getting back together so he can finally show you his true colors 🤷🏼♀️
I feel sorry for him to encounter someone like you When I hear stories like that I always remember that if you will try to help a butterfly get out of the chrysalis will prevent it from ever flying What I'm saying is that you don't want to be in a relationship with a baby even if you like the satisfaction of "helping" him You look and sound gorgeous, just be with someone who gives you as much as you give
Hope you don't have to find anyone else and he comes back empty handed but question is would you accept him after he wanders around ...and would that guarantee that he won't change his mind...if I was him, I would have gone ahead and married because if one finds a truly caring person as you mentioned in your post why to find someone else. And the breakfast and the dinner part, I get so emotional when someone says that, haven't been obliged with these things..had to order always, so I appreciate your efforts in maintaining a relationship faithfully. Lastly, he needed someone else to tell him this because that's when a man realizes his mistakes. Take care, miss
Going back is not the way it only prolongs pain instead focus on yourself give time to your goal and work. That will definitely help you to forget everything else otherwise thinking about same things again and again will stuck you in life one place. Better go and explore outside world may be one day you will get what you want
Happy you're returning to love yourself, and hope he does the same. It is no one else's responsibility to learn and practice that... I don't really believe you have to be entirely healed or completely love yourself in order to love someone else, but working through a certain point of mental/emotional/spiritual health and balance in intentional solitude- elevates the pure love we can channel unconditionally and presently. If one does not like themselves, is unsure of who or where they are, doesn't know their life's purpose, lacks external and internal awareness, gives or receives with unfair or inconsiderate exchange... Then the results will predictably fall apart due to an unstable/unhealed foundation in their being
Pain is unfortunately a natural side effect of living. From my experience, there are relationships that are not meant to be, for any number of reasons. He may not have been emotionally mature enough, he may have a fear of commitment, he may be insecure, the list goes on. Try not to let it eat up all your brain space, and focus on next steps for yourself and how you can grow from this. Best wishes!
That reason he gave... Honey that's pure BS. In fact it's one of a stock few BS excuses men will regurgitate over and over throughout the course of your life 😂 take each and every one with less than half a grain of salt, they make pie crust promises (easily made, easily broken) You say you know when you're being manipulated, I ask you this: do you know when YOU are being manipulative? I don't say that to upset or offend but hopefully to inspire honest self reflection and in the future have healthier relationships. I get a real sense that this was a toxic codependent partnership and you will both be best served by moving on and cutting all contact
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