The social "roles" we get early in life is likely to stick with you for your entire life. Not because that's where you have to be, but because you accept it as your place. Say you were bullied and an outsider early in life, wherever you go after that, school/work/any group situation - you're gonna assume the part of the outsider. You will assume the popular ones won't want you around and so you'll stay in the periphery. Same goes with popularity. It's like a self-fullfilling prophecy. But here's the thing, with awareness we can break that cycle. Imagine the type of life you'd wish to lead, and tell yourself it's possible. When you change your scenery, change the way you see yourself and others will as well. It's difficult, I know. I was stuck in a loop where I always felt unwanted. Always left outside looking in. Then I found out about this nugget of human psychology and I changed my path. Am I now the most popular one in a group? - No. Do I wish I was? - God no 🤣. But I've made friends. I've gained respect. I get invited to participate. Why am I sharing this? Cause I know so many feel helplessly left outside and I want them to know it is possible to change their lot.

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ENFP

What did you do to change the way you perceive yourself? I've been trying to see myself in a different light for years now, but the world surrounding me is filled with — and keeps producing — evidence that makes it impossible to change some core beliefs about myself that need changing. (edited)

Sofya

INFP

Pisces

Absolutely true. And a corollary: the behavior will start to feel more natural AS LONG AS YOU KEEP IT UP. I've been pretty reclusive all my life, but when I got a job that required me to be outgoing, I truly did start to want more social interaction in my day-to-day life. I truly became more outgoing, and even more extroverted. However, when I got promoted to a position that didn't require much social interaction, all of those changes evaporated. When I stopped practicing those skills and behaviors, they became more foreign to me. Lesson: if you want to change an aspect of your behavior for the long-term, you need to keep up with the changes!

Harrison

INTP

Leo

I got a song for you. https://youtu.be/nrJqCe8aWPQ

Matt

ENTJ

Taurus

I was bullied mercilessly through primary and high school i fought back and ended up learning who i was through adversity im a social person who can go out by myself and have fun or with friends

Gary

INTP

Libra

You're a very thoughtful person

Magikarp

ENTJ

Pisces

🙌

Ella

INFP

Leo

@Bex Thank you for your input. It was much appreciated. I read your responses all the way through and each time you were clear and thoughtful, as you were on your OP. It is nice to read a well-written and well-intentioned bit of advice. TY!

Toni

INTJ

Aquarius

Humans want to belong. Some stop there instead of going for the position where they can be themselves and be happy because they fear they might lose the place they were put in by others.

Gary

INTP

Aquarius

Thank you. Thought it was me

Felipe

ENFJ

Pisces

YES. "awareness to break the cycle" honestly this is something should be trained in school! 💢

Maxamilian

INFP

Taurus

Thank you

Aoi Tallari

INFP

Capricorn

Thank you so much for share this story.💛

Dennis

INFP

Libra

Yes it is call,. Inter core,. Beliefs,. What we perceive to be, or believe is going to happen will happen

isaac

INTP

Gemini

Is this a nature vs nurture debate?

Jose Rivera

INFJ

Capricorn

I... noticed. Been the outsider for as long as I can remember. The autism and RSD doesn't help😅

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My hair is almost getting to this length again. ✨

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🤝🏼

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Workaholic strong independent woman!🤭

Life of a single mom..haha!

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Ahh

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Life is so ironic to understand fully, it takes sadness to know what is happiness. Noise to distinguish silent and a broken heart to find true love..

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Just a memory (edited)

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2 Awards

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I hate this lonely sh I t. I'm tired of going to bed alone, and without my child to wake me as well. This could've all turned out different.. now I'm without everyone that loved me, for something I had no control over..

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I miss this with mom😓🥰

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My 2022

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🌱

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Yeah, Socialising still ain't my priority.

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👀

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My mind at 2 am.

I wanna sleep mind ... please let me sleep.... 😭

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🥴😮‍💨

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making yourself happy again is the biggest comeback.

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This is your reminder... Life won't wait... So stop holding back... Do what you feel... You're here to live fully and fearlessly... Every moment is a chance to rewrite your story, to shine brighter, and to claim your power... So, own it! No rewinds! 💯🕺💃🎶🎵🙌✨️🥰🌻

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18h

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i have high school classmate which isn’t that good in class but manage to find a job in engineering firm and meanwhile me working as a carpenter and partime fastfood cleaner 🥲

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i miss those days, when my smile was real

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One of those days

When you realize how lonely you are because everyone around you has someone. Envy it is. To be wanted the way others are around me. To feel meaning and a sense of purpose once more. Alas I live eyes half open bent and broken.

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True

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🐮 moo

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Whyyyy

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Time to look for new jobs today...

With any luck I'll find something. My current job is wearing me down so if I can work from home I much prefer that

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Snacktime

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Well, which is it now? 🤔

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all good things take time.

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❤️

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Hey

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Hello everyonee🌞💮🌸

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Her lover is making fun of her..💔😞

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When that one ex tries to get your attention....

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Unpopular opinion…

Tacos are the most overrated food in the world.

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chilo gonzalez

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L's n W's

If you take a lose, but a lesson is learned..........did you lose? I feel if you gained knowledge to better combat the situation for next time........ That's a 2 L's make a w moment. But if you're just going through the same cycle expected different results without adapting......... You're... read more

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Life Community

What did you do to change the way you perceive yourself? I've been trying to see myself in a different light for years now, but the world surrounding me is filled with — and keeps producing — evidence that makes it impossible to change some core beliefs about myself that need changing. (edited)

I got a song for you. https://youtu.be/nrJqCe8aWPQ

I was bullied mercilessly through primary and high school i fought back and ended up learning who i was through adversity im a social person who can go out by myself and have fun or with friends

You're a very thoughtful person

🙌

@Bex Thank you for your input. It was much appreciated. I read your responses all the way through and each time you were clear and thoughtful, as you were on your OP. It is nice to read a well-written and well-intentioned bit of advice. TY!

Humans want to belong. Some stop there instead of going for the position where they can be themselves and be happy because they fear they might lose the place they were put in by others.

Thank you. Thought it was me

YES. "awareness to break the cycle" honestly this is something should be trained in school! 💢

Thank you

Thank you so much for share this story.💛

Yes it is call,. Inter core,. Beliefs,. What we perceive to be, or believe is going to happen will happen

Is this a nature vs nurture debate?

I... noticed. Been the outsider for as long as I can remember. The autism and RSD doesn't help😅

Related Posts

My hair is almost getting to this length again. ✨

🤝🏼

Workaholic strong independent woman!🤭

Ahh

Life is so ironic to understand fully, it takes sadness to know what is happiness. Noise to distinguish silent and a broken heart to find true love..

Just a memory (edited)

..⏰️

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I miss this with mom😓🥰

My 2022

🌱

Yeah, Socialising still ain't my priority.

👀

My mind at 2 am.

🥴😮‍💨

making yourself happy again is the biggest comeback.

This is your reminder... Life won't wait... So stop holding back... Do what you feel... You're here to live fully and fearlessly... Every moment is a chance to rewrite your story, to shine brighter, and to claim your power... So, own it! No rewinds! 💯🕺💃🎶🎵🙌✨️🥰🌻

i have high school classmate which isn’t that good in class but manage to find a job in engineering firm and meanwhile me working as a carpenter and partime fastfood cleaner 🥲

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The ripple effect of emotion

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Time to look for new jobs today...

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all good things take time.

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Hello everyonee🌞💮🌸

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I know of no religion but I know there is a god.

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When that one ex tries to get your attention....

Unpopular opinion…

L's n W's