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Universes
Kelly
Posted Tuesday, October 4, 2022
1y
ENFP
Do you find yourself attracted to people with the same bad traits as your parent(s)?
They say we seek relationships that match what we saw growing up, and we tend to be attracted to people who remind us of the people who loved us (however flawed they and their love may have been). For example, many people find themselves attracted to liars or manipulators because all the love they've ever received came from liars and manipulators. Are there any negative personality traits you're attracted to that may be traced back to your childhood?
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13K SOULS
Indra (he/him)
1y
INFP
Cancer
Sadly, yes πΉ But some psychologist said that's not actually attraction, that's just us got anxious because our heart remember what we have gone through before π
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0
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Hanny
1y
ENTJ
Capricorn
Parenting is very influential on the development of children, especially in shaping the mindset of children, for example, if the parenting is permissive, the attitude of acceptance is high but the control is low, the child will tend to behave like rebellious, impulsive etc. During the child's development process there will also be an attachment process, children build bonds to survive, so it's no wonder if children can't go even though their parents are bad, as they grow older, the parental figure will be released so with the same instinct they will look for someone who can meet all needs as well as parents meet the needs, that's why someone finally chooses a partner who is similar to their own parents. Attachment style is similar to imprint theory, for example a newborn kitten will continue to cling to its mother because it is the first person she sees. It turns out that the human subconscious also imprints on their parents or caregivers. Because of that unconsciously, they will "stick" or choose a partner who resembles their parent figure. Then what if the relationship between children and parents is not good? choosing a life partner who is similar to parents or behaves the same as parents can happen unconsciously not because of the same figure but maybe because of the same conflict, so it happens again. one of the theorists who focuses on the past, namely freud, argues that a person will perform a defense mechanism as a form of unconscious response to protect themselves from anxiety, things/situations that they cannot face. Another theory based on the past is the ideal mate theory, where a person chooses an ideal partner based on childhood experiences. Here one chooses a partner who meets every need and responds quickly and totally. Men usually see a mother figure and women usually see a father figure, it can also happen to a brother or sister. sorry if this is too convoluted, and this may not happen to everyone because of course many things affectπ
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Dr. Nobody.
1y
INTJ
No.
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0
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