Hit another low point today...

I hit another low point today. I kept looking at some of my posts and thought about everything ive been through and everyone thats come and gone from my life and I felt myself going to a very dark place and just kept thinking that maybe locking myself away from everyone was the thing to do. I kept thinking about if id ever find anyone or if maybe me locking away myself and emotions would be best so long as it meant that I wouldnt break anyone's heart or cause them any kind of emotional distress. I want to be loved and I want my happily-ever-after but not if it could potentially cause problems for someone else.