Late night depression

I put on a tough face during the day At night that toughness turns dark & into what feels like depression - why me? What did I do to deserve this kind of hurt? She’s moved on and it’s not fair she gets to have happiness when she ripped my family, my joy, my heart apart. I am not ok most days but I push through hoping and praying for better days. Maybe one day I’ll find true happiness and find that someone. But who’s gonna want to love someone that’s stage 4 cancer, out of shape, & already has a kid? I have a big heart to offer and a love that will run true & forever if you let it. I am not ok, I’m barely getting by. Losing track of time, losing sleep at night.