Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I'm struggling

So I'm having a really hard time and could use some tips to destress. I normally handle stress pretty well but right now I just don't know what to do. I'm a full time single dad, my 2yr old daughter is on day 11 of being sick with RSV, it's terrible, it won't let up, from day 1 to now it's been nonstop coughing, minimal sleep, a lot of whining (rightfully so) and a lot of missed work. I don't have any help, nobody to take her even for a couple hours to just breathe, I can't get anything done around the house without her at my hip crying, I'm just exhausted and she is too and nothing I do is making any difference towards her recovery. I can feel my patience wearing thin at times and the last thing i want to do is bark at her out of exhaustion when she needs extra TLC right now but I know it's gonna happen if I can't relieve some of this. Any suggestions welcome!

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Jen

1mo

ISFJ
Libra

1w9

1

9

Breathe. And carry on. She needs you.

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3

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I know she does, I just don't want to lose my composure on her, she needs my compassion not my exhaustion

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2

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Jen

1mo

ISFJ
Libra

1w9

1

9

@Zach parenting is like that.

1

0

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Felipe

1mo

ENFJ
Pisces

@Zach Yes. And the fact ur asking for different perspectives is the right step. U seem like a good Dad. U need to release some steem. Is natural. Try some exercice, weights or just planks, like beast mode.. Try to walk as much as u can even if its around the house outside for some mins. Practice deep breath in 4s,hold for 4s and reléase for 4s,repeat 3 times (clean nose with water), repeat every time u start feeling heat raise ur head. This simple things gives better oxygen to your body/brain which gives u clarity under pressure and perspective. Fact u know ur the last man on the line of defense its an edge, as u wont loose time/effort waiting for some one else to come and save the Day. U got this! Use logic to structure urself while her condition gets better, she will 10000%. 💪💯

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Swn

1mo

INTJ
Leo

If you can, go for a run in a park with lots of greenery, and also meditate, not an expert but I think it could work, hope the child recovers soon, good luck.

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

It's winter here so no good greenery or running but I'd definitely take some meditation tips, I've never done it but I think it's about my only option at this point

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0

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Curtis

1mo

INFP
Taurus

8w7

8

7

Dude, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this right now. I'm not a parent at all, but is there any children's hospital you can admit her to? This sounds pretty bad right now.

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

Unfortunately there isn't, the hospital normally would give temporary care for her so I could even just take a nap but they're overwhelmed. The flu, covid, and RSV are running rampant here and the hospital is understaffed. I took her in Sunday night to the ER because she was coughing up bloody phlegm and the doctor actually seemed pissed that I took up his time for it

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2

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Curtis

1mo

INFP
Taurus

8w7

8

7

@Zach Jesus... I'm so sorry... the hospitals here are also overrun, but they care so much more... I feel so bad that you're suffering through this alone. I wish there was something more we can do to help you

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0

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Jen

1mo

ISFJ
Libra

1w9

1

9

@Zach wow

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0

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Dee

1mo

INFJ
Capricorn

9w1

9

1

Feel sorry Have you take her to doctor? Be strong, be patien, maybe you need to consult to you mom, her mommy or neighbour Hope she'll get recovery soon 😇 God bless you and your daughter

1

2

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I've taken her in twice, both times they gave her a steroid injection to give her a boost and sent us on our way. My parents are too old to watch her when she's this sick, her mom lives in a different city and can't take off work, she also doesn't handle stress well, it's part of why I have 100% custody. All the crying and neediness is hard for her to handle, she's not very good in the mom department

0

1

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Dee

1mo

INFJ
Capricorn

9w1

9

1

@Zach owh so sad. I always crying when my child got sick, heart feel broken saw them in pain. But i try to smile and pampers them stay beside the tell the funny stories. You can do as i do, or maybe you get another way.. just dont show her you are stresses and tired, she can feel what you feel Cheer up bro 😊

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0

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Leigh

1mo

ISTJ
Gemini

1w9

1

9

I'm just a nurse so I cant diagnose or prescribe but I could give you some comfort suggestions if the docs didn't help depending upon her symptoms. It's strange all they did was a steroid shot. No inhaler, neb, or OTC suggestions?

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

The OTC suggestions (Tylenol/ibuprofen) I was already doing. It honestly seems like my hospital(mayo) is against nebulizers, I've even requested them and been turned down in the past. Today is finally seeming like a turning point, she had a rough first 30 minutes of the day, had some random coughing fits but not super aggressive, now she's 2 hours into a nap and almost no coughing through out it. I want to be hopeful but I'm hesitant because this thing has backed off and ramped back up a few times already

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1

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Leigh

1mo

ISTJ
Gemini

1w9

1

9

@Zach against nebs!!! Oye. Ok well if you aren't already cold humidifiers are your friend. I'm assuming the the otcs were for a fever but it sounds like she needed/needs cough support. Her age makes other meds difficult but a good doctor would weight base the meds older children can use like mucinex. It also sounds like her behavior was from exhaustion and discomfort. Incline her mattress if you can. It helps keep airways open and keeps the chest junk from settling. Go back to basics, sleep when she sleeps. The housework will always be there. Base her improvement on her behavior not her cough. Coughs can last weeks after recovery from a respiratory illness. Crossing fingers she's on the mend! You are doing great.

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0

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Ira

1mo

ISFP
Virgo

5w4

5

4

Stay strong 💪 I'm not a parent yet, but if your kids sees you giving up it will be harder for them.. You can do this and don't forget to pray 🙏... I will be praying for you guys. 🙏.. this too shall pass.

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2

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

Oh they'll never see me give up! Just don't want her to see me so tired though

0

1

Reply

Ira

1mo

ISFP
Virgo

5w4

5

4

@Zach You're just human. It's normal that you get tired. But you got this 👍 💪

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0

Reply

Elpida

1mo

ENFP
Sagittarius

Take a pillow and scream and punch it till your exhausted. If you have a punching bag better! 🫣 mother of three!

1

3

Reply

Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I think my daughter would freak out if she saw me do that 🤣🤣🤣

0

1

Reply

Elpida

1mo

ENFP
Sagittarius

@Zach your not doing that infringe of an two year old, dah! 🤣 she can’t understand why! Also my kids when they have cough and can’t sleep I’ll make them tea from lemon and a little honey let it cook a bit and give her that!

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1

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

@Elpida I know I was joking 🤣 if I could get her to drink anything other than water and watered down milk I'd absolutely give her some tea

0

0

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Vanna

1mo

INTP
Aries

Oof. Well for sure if it hasn't go e away by two weeks take her in. I would say to get a nanny for a couple of hours so you can rest. Do what you have to do for a little while then get to it. But I don't know how much that costs or how easily one can be found. I'm guessing her favorite movies aren't helping either? :( My mom gave me a teddy bear when I was younger. She told me it would take all my aches and pain. All I had to do was hold her and eventually I'd get better. She said the bear could handle it. I still have that bear. I mean I'm not saying it'll work but maybe it'll give you some leg room. She can focus on hugging the stuffed animal versus tugging at your leg. Sorry if it isn't much help.

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I've already taken her in twice, they gave her steroid injections and sent us off. I definitely like the stuffed animal idea! I'm gonna try it! Nobody wants to babysit a violently ill toddler and i don't blame them, it's difficult, and given RSV is highly contagious they're adding that risk also, granted it's not bad for adults it can be very bad on young kids (like this) and the elderly

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1

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Vanna

1mo

INTP
Aries

@Zach ah I'm sorry. I didn't think of that. Ugh I how she gets better soon. That's a long time. I'll probably have you in mind. If I'm able to think of anything I'll reach out. But yeah. You've been toughing it out this long. You got this. And you have had this. Hopefully she's able to get some rest soon so you can too

1

0

Reply

Morena

1mo

INFP
Leo

9w1

9

1

She needs you. Please dont give up.

1

0

Reply

Cloudy

1mo

INTP
Gemini

1w2

1

2

Welcome to parenthood

0

1

Reply

Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I'm no stranger to parenthood, but handling a severely sick toddler completely alone, that is definitely new and given the extended length of being sick it's overly exhausting is all

0

0

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Michelle Hardy

1mo

INTJ
Leo

My suggestion is forget doing any unnecessary housework for now and cuddle up with your sick baby. She needs you. Put on some TV you both enjoy, make something she loves to eat, and just take it easy for now. Also, make sure she stays well hydrated. Not holding yourself to a higher standard rn is key to getting through it and if need be have a family member give you a break for a few hours.

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7

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

I don't have the family member option unfortunately, she's too sick for them, my parents are pushing 80 years old. She's getting better for the moment mood wise but we just got home from the doctor and she has double ear infections starting as well as a sinus infection, the pharmacy is out of antibiotics so I have to wait til they talk with her doctor and figure out a new plan

0

1

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Michelle Hardy

1mo

INTJ
Leo

@Zach I'm so sorry to hear that. I'm sure she's beyond miserable. Any warm liquids will help her at this point. It'll keep phlegm loose and help soothe her ear infection a bit. Warm caffeine free tea, warm apple juice cut with water or Pedialyte are good options. I had the same thing at her age. Also, make sure to alternate children's ibuprofen and children's Tylenol. That's an effective way to keep down any fever and pain.

0

1

Reply

Michelle Hardy

1mo

INTJ
Leo

Also a little Vapor rub on her chest wouldn't hurt.

0

1

Reply

Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

@Michelle Hardy she doesn't drink juice, she hates anything artificially flavored like that unfortunately, I'm stuck with milk and water. I know dairy makes phlegm worse so I water it way down. I do use a vapor rub on her chest and have been crushing and dissolving Tylenol and ibuprofen into her milk, she won't take the flavored stuff

0

1

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Michelle Hardy

1mo

INTJ
Leo

@Zach You're not giving regular Tylenol or ibuprofen right? That's too high a dose and can cause liver damage. My daughter was the queen of not taking medicine but I still had to give it to her as much as it upset me and her. Getting an oral syringe from the pharmacy and shooting the medicine into the side of the mouth into the back is the best way, even if she's fussy. Talk with a pharmacist if you have any questions, but some medications shouldn't be crushed.

0

1

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Zach

1mo

ENTP
Gemini

9w8

9

8

@Michelle Hardy no I'm giving her kids medicine I'm also only giving her 1/3 of a pill at a time, yea i know how to shoot the medicine in with a syringe but she'll throw it up intentionally

0

1

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Michelle Hardy

1mo

INTJ
Leo

@Zach lol that sounds just like mine. Good luck 🤞 It sounds like she's in good hands ☺️ It's just gonna take lots of love and time.

0

0

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Jo

1mo

INFJ
Pisces

6w7

6

7

I'm a mum of two and my little girl had RSV earlier in the year. Happy to chat and help, even if it's just someone you can vent to.

1

0

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