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Leeo

4 days ago

INFP
Cancer

5w4

5

4

People Pleasing
1 award

This message may be for me but if anyone else resonates with it - cool and know you aren't alone in this. If you grew up and your default mode way of being was to become a people pleaser in order to survive and thrive in your environment - or to become invisible by putting your wants and needs on the back burner in order to keep the peace or whatever it may be - maybe as a form of self-protection for your own safety - part of your healing journey will be to step outside of that role. You aren't a villain for wanting to set healthy boundaries. You aren't a bad person for wanting to put your own mental health first for once. People may think you are being selfish or have all sorts of things to say. You are now starting to rise in your own inherent power and the unhealthy people around you - they wont like that - as they had gotten used to the you that never spoke up for himself/herself or never ruffled any feathers. They may have liked having control over the version of you that was small and over the version of you they felt they had more control over. You are now deciding to set healthy boundaries for yourself and your time and energy and that is okay. You've worn yourself out by having yourself so accessible and being so conformative to everyone else's wants and needs. It's okay to put yourself first and make sure you are good - before deciding to share your energy and love around. That's not selfish. That's being an emotionally and mentally healthy and mature person who knows their limits. There are a lot of takers who will just keep taking out there and we have to have boundaries for ourself. Our boundaries are there for us to be able to have ourselves and have other people to. And sometimes our boundaries for ourselves will only allow us to love certain people from afar. And that is okay. But the people we do end up sharing our time and energy with - who are respecting of you and of themselves as well - where everyone's light is able to shine - that is a space where magic happens. Where we can have ourselves and other people at the same time. That is where connection happens. That is where real compassion and love is able to thrive. If you are expected to give up your own sense of happiness - safety - comfort - and mental health in order to make someone else happy - in order to appease and placate someone else's mood - or in order for someone else to like you - or whatever it is - it might be time to set those boundaries for yourself. There are for real people out there in the matrix that will straight up dislike you for putting your mental health first and hate you for deciding to step into your own inherent divinity and light. I can have empathy and compassion and wish those people well and hope they heal - but I choose to stay in my light - rather than join them in their misery. You are on the next level now - and sometimes certain people may try so hard to bring you back down to levels you've already leveled up from. You've got this. Stay in your light. Set those healthy boundaries. Protect your peace. Protect your love. Protect your light. Fill your own cup up first. And then if your cup of love starts overflowing - by all means - share your time and energy and help make the world a better place - but wherever you are in the world - if there are people who make you feel like you have to give up you in order to be their definition of a kind and compassionate human being - maybe those aren't your people and you're in the wrong environment. Those sound like the kinds of people who can't handle or appreciate your love or your light. I love you. You can do this. You aren't alone in your journey. There are others going through the same sorts of things out there in the world. You are not alone.

favorite

9

5

Cameron

4 days ago

ENTJ
Sagittarius

2w1

2

1

I only made it half way through this, not for lack of interest, but because it was like reading something ive written in my heart for the past 5 years now. You're on point with this bud. %1000.

favorite

2

1

Leeo

4 days ago

INFP
Cancer

5w4

5

4

Glad you can relate. It has definitely been needing to come out. Sometimes the words aren't there for me to express what I've been feeling until it's time to express them it feels like - and I guess this morning was that time lol. It was definitely one of those moments of inspiration that hit me earlier - and I tapped into some of that wisdom life likes to give us after it puts us through some things sometimes.

favorite

1

0

Billy

4 days ago

ISTP
Capricorn

6w7

6

7

Well, more than that, I think both people have to be happy with themselves before they can be happier together. One person being the only source of another person's happiness just doesn't work, for either person.

favorite

1

1

Leeo

4 days ago

INFP
Cancer

5w4

5

4

That is so true. Great perspective.

favorite

0

0

Az

4 days ago

INTP
Libra

8w9

8

9

So true. Its the fawning level of trauma response. Our society uses it to avoid conflict, discomfort, and accountability/growth. So many taught that its their no that is to blame for the violence and not the one that wouldn’t respect their boundary. The hierarchy demanding submission over authenticity. . . The trouble is that fake doesn’t feel the same. Even chosing to fake a yes will not grant the same energy as a real yes. Its selling our joy short as well as what we have to offer. All in the name of pleasing one that choses to ignore our valid needs. Its hard being human, living in fake civilized actions in the name of temporary peace with long term health loss.

favorite

1

0

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