2 AM thoughts

Question

The mind gets mean when sleep is elusive. 
Mental barriers that once kept certain thoughts out aren't as effective. Dark corners in my conscience where I stash things I'm trying to avoid are suddenly lit up like the sun.

I recently started a journey of self-empowerment and self-love. In order to get to the love, however, I'm finding I have to address a lot of really difficult topics. Like, the fact that I don't love myself and I've always struggled to do so. So, to address the hate, I have to trace to where it began which means dredging up absolute graveyards of memories I had wanted to forget.

Feeling broken is devastating and is something I'm desperately trying to separate from. But, as with everything worth achieving, it's incredibly difficult.

I'm just exhausted. Thank you for listening to my Ted Talk, lol. Kind words are appreciated.

Wolfe · Accepted Answer

I've been down this road... It's difficult indeed. I find the deeper I dig, that what really holds me back is not what I don't understand, but what I cannot come to terms with. I began to accept that I had to change certain things about myself that I wanted to ignore, and the pain is what will drive you to that if you're anything like me. I'm still working on myself, and I'll be doing so until I take my last breath. But it all started for me when I told myself the same thing you did, so keep it up, you'll find out one day it's easier than you think to love yourself, you just have to figure out how, and as you've probably already figured out, it isn't something somebody can simply explain to you.

Ramses · Answer

When I feel chained by past decisions, I have a thought experiment which helps me.

I ask myself "I was on vacation and could do nothing there, and just got back. What steps do I have to take now to get to X?" 🏖

It helps me to not dwell on what I should have done, and rather gives me focus on the present. 🌌

I hope it helps! ✨️

Also, my theory is that evening thoughts come together with the lack of distraction. I would recommend going out for walks, to confront those thoughts whilst they do not stand in slumber's way. 🚶‍♀️🧠

Dina · Answer

Have you tried journaling? It might help sort out your thoughts.
I believe in creatively expressing our deepest feelings. Write, draw, sculpt, scrapbook, paint, sing or dance your rawest feelings. Express yourself in whatever way feels most appealing and natural. You don’t have to be an artist to do this. Self-expression and creativity are universal balms for the soul and have tremendous healing energy.

Indra (he/him) · Answer

May someday you will ne able to heal your wounded self and start to love yourself, keep on trying, you can do this 💪💪💪☺️
If you ever need someone to listen to you, we in this community will be glad to do that ☺️

Scott · Answer

Yeah, I understand this!
I've never thought to trace it back - or maybe I've just been avoiding it.
Just this morning though, I had a dream, and everything became clear. I got all the answers.
Now I can begin the journey, I just have to find the start of the path.
You'll get there, you've got the motivation and you seem to understand what you need to do.
I guess you have to see it as an adventure rather than a struggle.
Take small steps.
Good luck to you! 😊

Ryan · Answer

Your not alone on this front believe me.  It seems to me the more time spent absorbing all this content that we have at our fingertips with the flick of a finger, I find, both helps and sometimes hinders. I find myself getting sucked into worrying about crazy topics that, had I not indulged my attention to, probably would have not even crossed my mind.  And yet I am so addicted now to the feeling of needing to have the answers to everything like RIGHT NOW.  I think it's best to keep this in mind before I get myself worked up thinking about all these super complex societal and sociological issues to an  unnecessary extent.  It's tough tho.  If it ever up and need a chat hit me up if you like.  I pride myself on knowing a little about a lot of things ... sometimes a lot about a lot of things too ;).

Jen · Answer

If you are trying to improve your life its all good.   Don't ever give up that.

Tim · Answer

Sounds like you're capable of dealing with things in a way that you couldn't earlier in your life. That is an accomplishment!

You were never unlovable and there was no reason to hate yourself, you made what you thought were the best decisions given the information you had. Often, as children, we don't have the full picture of situations and we make erroneous decisions based on incomplete information.

Be kind to yourself and look back at your younger self and say it's okay to let go of the the decisions you made. You've grown and gotten wiser, and can see more than your younger self could.

Carlos · Answer

Sometimes it feels as if the mind gets tired of holding things back from our conscious selves and disables some barrien functions (sleeping comes to mind) to invite us to bleed our pain away thoroughly. What could be the reason for this? Does it somehow conclude that we don't need to hide from cuts and the emptiness anymore? Or has it just grown tired of being stressed to the limits, gasping for air, while doing everything possible to just keep us moving (if you stop, you die--i guess is the philosophy of the subconscious).

Surviving like that is exhausting, indeed. And who has the energy to love him/herself while all the primary vitality of being is been employed in guaranteeing our survival? It's a feedback loop from hell...hell, indeed! I hope your inner child can feel once again safe by your side. I hope you protect her fiercely so that she may play again instead of just surviving. It's too late for you, but it is absolutely not for her. I hope she gets to have the chances to love herself again, and I hope you find yourself again in her!

Scott · Answer

You got this. You are worth it.

Ron · Answer

Keep going! It's brutal! And beautiful! And exhausting... Be kind to yourself and take your time. You have your whole life to do it.

These are the things I tell myself as we!

Thomas · Answer

Im going through something similar. I don't like myself very much, and recently, I've confronted it and started to get to the bottom of a lot of my darkness. I very desperately want to be loved and in my work it has surfaced in physical pain and subconscious attacks as I sleep, but I'm going to get through that storm and be better from it and so are you. A lot of what we carry isn't ours anymore and was somebody else's. You are allowed to drop the voices that tell you were/are unworthy of finding that appreciation for yourself and your peace. Keep fighting

Haris · Answer

You think alot in the night time

2 AM thoughts

Mentalhealth Community

May someday you will ne able to heal your wounded self and start to love yourself, keep on trying, you can do this 💪💪💪☺️ If you ever need someone to listen to you, we in this community will be glad to do that ☺️

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