Sharing our stories

My daughter is getting to the point where she’s starting to ask more about my life when I was young. It’s a touchy subject because eeehhh I survived a horror movie situation. It’s not really that I am uncomfortable talking about it, it’s that it’s such a complicated subject that I’ve had to stop talking about it with people altogether. A lot of the things I saw and went through are more upsetting to hear about than it is to me. I wind up feeling like other people need therapy just hearing my story, so ehh I don’t go into detail about any of it. Tonight though, I started sharing some of that with my daughter because I was about her age when all of that stuff unfolded. I told her how I survived, and the origin of some of my household quirks. Her reaction is one that I didn’t know I was always waiting for someone to give me - genuine curiosity. I’ve always thought people’s quirks were actually quite interesting and I always liked learning the origin story. I have those too, just the back story is a little darker and therefore less palatable than others. But my daughter lit up and said “huh! That actually makes sense!” With a sort of playful curiosity. It reached out and touched my own inner child who was developing those quirks because, at the time, it was quite logical. Then we talked about how a lot of people who hate their parents wind up becoming just like them. It’s a generational cycle of abuse and I wanted to end the one in mine. She just started seeing a therapist and I explained I spent a long time in therapy because I DIDNT want to wind up being like MY parents. I wanted to actually be different, that’s why I read the parenting books and watch the YouTubez. I can’t wait until our next “WHY ARE YOU THE MEANEST MOTHER IN EXISTENCE” exchange (edited)