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Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

Family

If a family member looks you in the eyes with visible confusion as to who you even are, can you consider them your family? Because of memory loss, my grandmother doesn't know who I am, nor can I "convince" her as to who I am, because nothing sticks. So I have to treat her as a stranger with politeness and at arms length.

5

22

Comment

Arti

17d

ENTJ
Capricorn

7w8

7

8

Can she make new memories?

1

2

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

I don't believe so yet, because she very much is in a state of "experiencing life" and then constantly forgetting what she just did. It's why she will lose track of time and spend hours on a task if left alone. If there's no progress to be seen, she doesn't know how long she's been at it.

1

1

Reply

Arti

17d

ENTJ
Capricorn

7w8

7

8

@Aaron Ohh I see, that's very unfortunate. 😕

1

0

Reply

LYN

17d

ISFJ
Aquarius

1w2

1

2

At that point in life, you always need and must consider them to be your family. You have the ability to comprehend the situation, so it is still you on whom they will rely in their hour of need.

1

0

Reply

✧Ⓙ✧ⓞ✧ⓨ✧

17d

INTP
Libra

6w7

6

7

Guess you can consider her as family for the memories that you have. But she has her needs now. Yeah, there are two humans (you and your grandma) and their singularities involved, but in this specific situation her condition need to be respected for her health.

1

0

Reply

Mike

17d

INFJ
Capricorn

Why are you calling her grandma? That should answer your question.

0

6

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

Because of I said Elnora, like I have to call her to her face, no one would know the connection between me and her?

0

1

Reply

Mike

17d

INFJ
Capricorn

@Aaron So what is that connection?

0

1

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

@Mike I'd consider it strangers myself. If a person doesn't know who I am, I am a stranger. If I act like I'm related to them, they are confused and scared, because a stranger is doing that. But what would you consider it?

0

1

Reply

Mike

17d

INFJ
Capricorn

@Aaron I'd consider her still your grandma. If you could go back before this started she would probably want you to continue loving her as family for she may very well do that for you. Maybe she is a stranger but she is still your grandma. Like imagine if she was in a coma. Would you let her go because she won't respond to you. Would you take it as the cold shoulder? I think you need to accept that though she may be gone she's still there somehow and needs love all the same. Don't give up on her ok.

0

1

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

@Mike I am not sure if you understand me haha. I havent given up, I have to do something that requires mental fortitude to never give up. Imagine if you walked up to your grandmother to ask a question and she backed up in fear? I am not allowed to take things personally because if I do, that would be heartbreaking for the person causing it. So yes, she is my grandmother in blood. But she is also a scared older woman who must be treated gently. I am not going to "let her go" I am going to have to live as a stranger in their home for as long as they survive and allow me to make sure they don't die accidentally.

0

1

Reply

Mike

17d

INFJ
Capricorn

@Aaron Ok I get it now. I thought you were looking for a reason to walk away. Well maybe just be pleasant as you can. Don't forget she is still there in some way or another. If I were you I'd make everything more pleasant like playing nice music or whatever. Either way good luck with things and I wish the best for your family.

0

0

Reply

Drisma

17d

ISFJ
Libra

Hi there. I think I consider them still family just hard to know that they are slowly going away and we all have to accept it.

1

0

Reply

Sha

17d

INFJ
Virgo

4w5

4

5

At least you still have your grandma 😊

0

6

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

It's true, she still exists. But it's difficult in that, I scare her by being nearby because I'm a stranger in her home. Do you still have grandparents?

0

1

Reply

Sha

17d

INFJ
Virgo

4w5

4

5

@Aaron sorry for asking, but why do you feel like a stranger? I also still have a grandmother, she can't walk and she just spends her time on her bed.. but I really love her..

0

1

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

@Sha Because she asks me who I am when she first sees me, and then my name/saying I'm her grandson means nothing to her Ahh, I'm glad you still have her around.

1

1

Reply

Sha

17d

INFJ
Virgo

4w5

4

5

@Aaron it's a normal thing.. especially at her age she must forgot the face of her grandson who has grown up 😁 I also have to explains who I am to my grandmother repeatedly.. sometimes I made jokes, that I'm a fairy who comes to take care of her.. hehe.. 😆

1

1

Reply

Aaron

17d

ENTP
Leo

9w1

9

1

@Sha It's good to hear you have a very comfortable way to approach the situation. I guess I'll have to tell her I'm a fairy as well, because she definitely has no clue who I am anymore, even after I explain.

0

1

Reply

Sha

17d

INFJ
Virgo

4w5

4

5

@Aaron let me know how's she reacts... maybe i'll be annoyed because i have to repeat the same answers... but for me to see that she still can talk and her confused.. It's enough for me.. Maybe I'm too overreacts but i'm like a super hero who can protect someone I love.. Hahaa

0

0

Reply

LJ

17d

ESTJ
Taurus

I would still think of them as family. It doesn't change the fact that you still have memories (hopefully some nice ones) of your time with her. With your grandmother, hopefully if she ever has a lucid moment, you'll be there to witness it. Memory loss is definitely difficult, you're having to reconcile the person that they were and the person they are now. I have a family member with dementia and Alzheimer's. It's tough. I hope that you have family members that can share nice memories of your grandma. 😊 I hope you can establish a new routine with your grandma (if that's what you want). 😔

1

0

Reply

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