Posted Thursday, April 16, 2026
1mo
INTP
I've had an artistic block, or, a “thought block” for about 4 years now. I think my brain has deteriorated. Or it is not nurtured, dormant under the debris of slop, in a realm that seems hazy and I can't see past anything. Constant fatigue. Sleeplessness combined with drowsiness. I'm extremely unmotivated. I tried to use my will, not use my will, trick myself, accept myself, to start something, to do something yet there is nothing. Days pass. 4 years went by like a gust of wind. I'm mindless. My hands are barren. My eyes are sore. I feel as if my brain has been infected and the pain must be reminiscent of meningitis. I stopped reading authors after a certain time because I would think of things myself, I didn't like just curating. It was interesting, now I approach everything with a “why”, a “how” and a rebuttal to dwell deeper. It's default. It's lacklustre. I started reading again, I think I like fiction better. Praise doesn't motivate me. Shame, idk. I do not pursue greatness or uniqueness. I used to wish I was unique but on the contrary, I used to think “what is that going to do?, do I even like it?” I wish I could care for objects because I deeply associate with them and have attached an aspect of myself to them. But I've shaved my head now. Idc what people are talking about, everyone is asking me and I did it because I wanted to. I was religious, I harbour no hatred towards God, I have my criticisms and appreciations and other thoughts for institutionalized religion and faith. Although I find faith beautiful. I don't believe it because I have no proof to believe or not believe in God. Believe. Belief. I am skeptive. My original. Your origins. If we are even real or not. I would scroll, get motivation watching pretty girls study because of aesthetics but now Idc. It's just aesthetic. I don't abide by any. I think I just grew up. And I am growing up now. Although life isn't cynical for all adults, it's not cynical for me either. It's a beauty, tragedy, comedy, mystery, horror, surrealistic, dramatic, artistic, mundane, but I don't think I interact much with it. If I did, I'd not be writing this, or feeling this almost everyday. I do touch grass, I take long walks. I like sitting outside but all I do is stare. Hours pass by. I don't even remember most of the things in thinking. I like studying on my terms but I have no aspiration to be great. Nothing is romantic. I do not romanticise. I do not aestheticize. I do not pedestalize. I am tired. I didn't even do a chore.
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Aditya
1mo
INFJ
Pisces
Hey. I was there where you are 3 months ago. I am passionate about philosophy and psychology, and I am deeply self aware, so I might be able to help.
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Ash 🐶🐱🦝🐝🐢🦜🐑
29d
ISTJ
Capricorn
I sometimes get depressed. Every couple to a few years it happens again, sometimes for a month, sometimes for years. But it often comes with brain fog. annoying when it lasts more than 4 months just because then I know it's probably gonna be a long one. Anyway not saying that's whats going on for U just that I can relate with something similar. Even when I'm not depressed though, I still feel like I'm functioning at 20 to 60percent of max, not that I've ever seen max but I feel like if I wasn't a zombie I could do even greater things than I already somehow manage to do (edited)
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