What's your opinion on holding grudges?

Question

Forgiveness is an act of kindness, but what happens if someone—a friend, family member, or stranger—offends you? Do you try to talk it out, or do you hold grudges?

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Seeta the Nosy Aunt🦝✨️ · Accepted Answer

Personally I don't forgive nor hold grudges.

I prefer to "off" those who wronged me from my mind, make them non-existent.

Ricardo · Answer

Grudges will silently kill you with the space that person negatively holds in your heart. The real betrayal when people hurt us is how they make us hold onto the pain of their actions long after they’ve forgotten what they even did.

Forgiveness should never be for any other person in this life other than ourselves. People believe that forgiveness will free them from the harmful deeds they’ve done, but you have to find it within yourself. Grudges are just burdens that weigh us down in the end.

A♤ ☄️⏳🧭 · Answer

Don't do it.
It does you more harm than it does them.

🌀𝕊𝕡𝕒𝕔𝕖 ℂ𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕥🌀 · Answer

I try to talk it out. Grudges are a HUGE waste of energy.

Heather · Answer

Forgiveness is an act of kindness towards yourself, not the one that you're forgiving. By forgiving the person that offends you, you are releasing yourself from being tied to them.

I've gone through a lot of hell in my life. If I carried the grudge and bitterness of what has been done to me, it would be its own burden. It's very important that you let it go.

More importantly, use assertive language when discussing this with somebody else. Using "I" statements when talking about how they offended or hurt you is important. But using assertive language, you're giving them a chance to fix the mistake that they made.

If they don't fix it, then it's best to forgive them and move on. Because you're only causing more problems when you hold on to those grudges. I hope you can find peace versus holding on to grudges. It isn't an easy lesson to learn, but it's an important one.

Kenny · Answer

Is the "grudge" worth removing someone from ny life?
If so than bye and that is it no reason to hold onto the grudge itself just that for my own sanity these people are no longer welcome in my life but I am not going to be thinking about them.

If not, what is the point of sitting there offended?  What are you accomplishing? 
What are you gaining?  What good are you doing for yourself?

amber · Answer

Holding grudges can be so draining.  It's hard to let go, but forgiveness is often the best path to healing. resentment only hurts you in the long run.

Emilse · Answer

Depends. But I hold grudges to REMEMBER.

No second chances

BUT 
The problem is snaping when they do some leser offense, that's why Is better to work things out. At least try when oneself isnt angry.

Is complicated. Sometimes other people isnt even aware of their wrongdoings, or they "forget" or tell you are overeacting.

Depends how deep You know people and stuff? Some get a pass on the honest mistake.

Some shouldn't.

Rae · Answer

I think I hold grudges but, I try to work it out but if it doesn't work. forget it!

Ellie · Answer

I’m no contact with a family member due to abuse, so, sometimes grudges are necessary for safety.

Ikel · Answer

Holding onto grudges can be emotionally draining, so I believe in addressing issues directly when possible. Open communication helps clear misunderstandings, and forgiveness allows us to move forward. Life feels lighter when we release negativity and focus on growth. Everyone deserves a chance to learn from their mistakes, and letting go of resentment makes space for healing and positive connections.
Ps: I know it's easier to say than to do but from my experience it's the best thing to do.

Matt · Answer

If that person means something to you, try to talk honestly with them.  Their reation will tell you all you need to know.
No don't hold a grudge, that is holding onto the negative energy you were given, and won't help you.
Once you have seen a person's true colours, let that be a lesson.  Don't allow them in a position to have that kind of influence over you again.  
Forgiveness is part of your journey of healing and growing

Kiera · Answer

I think holding a grudge would only affect your well-being and mental health, letting it go would let you have a peace of mind. 😊 It won’t benefit them letting it go, but it would to yourself.

Ed · Answer

No need to hold a grudge, just remove them from your life, there are plenty of things to stress about in life, why waste the time and energy?

Vedanth · Answer

A grudge is the worse cousin of judgement. AKA imprisoning someone to their past and exaggerating one's own importance in relation to them. It merely indicates our own incapacity to adapt, to trust, to be hurt and understand that even we have (and will) hurt others. We're human, not gods. So are the ones who hurt us. We don't become better than anyone just because we're hurt, and neither does someone else become better than us if we hurt them (unintentionally). Peace.

Úrsula · Answer

I don't hold grudges but I don't (or rarely) forgive either. I just let the person fade away from my life.

Oliver · Answer

Waste of time and energy

laila☆ · Answer

I used to hold grudges, due to people repeatedly doing things i had told them was crossing my boundaries. So instead of holding grudges now,  when my boundaries are clear,  i just let it go,  the person and situation. Not going to waste time angry at someone who doesn't want to respect me or my boundaries.

Ruben · Answer

Also, holding a grudge will just eat you up inside.

Cortney · Answer

Generally this one is forgiving. Especially if it's a transgression that is merely a mistake on their part. It's better to talk things out and try to understand where the other person is coming from before letting emotions take any priorities. Forgiveness takes strength and integrity and this one tries to emulate that. There is a limit to what even I can take, however. So I'm not perfect at this.

James · Answer

Personally I have a line, and if its crossed then I will discuss it and explain my feelings and give another chance, but if it happens again, family or otherwise, then I dont forgive or forget.

Andre&apos; · Answer

I always forgive, as God intended. However, I never forget.

Franklin · Answer

No way, just leave it.. getting away with your life. Will be better. If this person is a family think about it, this person is really important for me? What she does for me? This person is always rude or just happen one time? Should I talk about what happened and explain why make me feel bad? If you see it's not worth your time.. just leave. Take care of yourself.

Daniel · Answer

Holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal, expecting the other person to get hurt. At least that's what I gleaned from philosophy over the years

Ruben · Answer

Excellent question. I never hold grudges. I always try to confront that individual and tell him or her what they said or did was wrong, and that I wasn't okay with it. Because, if an individual doesn't let somebody know, then to that other individual they think their actions are okay and will tend to do ot again. It's never a goid thing to hold a grudge against another individual.

Sean · Answer

One of my biggest character flaws.  I do hold grudges, but it takes a pretty heinous act to start one, usually hurting a family member or friend.

Gregory · Answer

I believe that life is too short for bitterness and hatred. I tend to not hold grudges for longer than a few minutes or hours - unless the sin is particularly egregious.

What's your opinion on holding grudges?

Psychology Community

Personally I don't forgive nor hold grudges. I prefer to "off" those who wronged me from my mind, make them non-existent.

Don't do it. It does you more harm than it does them.

I try to talk it out. Grudges are a HUGE waste of energy.

Holding grudges can be so draining. It's hard to let go, but forgiveness is often the best path to healing. resentment only hurts you in the long run.

I think I hold grudges but, I try to work it out but if it doesn't work. forget it!

I’m no contact with a family member due to abuse, so, sometimes grudges are necessary for safety.

I think holding a grudge would only affect your well-being and mental health, letting it go would let you have a peace of mind. 😊 It won’t benefit them letting it go, but it would to yourself.

No need to hold a grudge, just remove them from your life, there are plenty of things to stress about in life, why waste the time and energy?

I don't hold grudges but I don't (or rarely) forgive either. I just let the person fade away from my life.

Waste of time and energy

Also, holding a grudge will just eat you up inside.

Personally I have a line, and if its crossed then I will discuss it and explain my feelings and give another chance, but if it happens again, family or otherwise, then I dont forgive or forget.

I always forgive, as God intended. However, I never forget.

Holding onto anger is like holding a hot coal, expecting the other person to get hurt. At least that's what I gleaned from philosophy over the years

One of my biggest character flaws. I do hold grudges, but it takes a pretty heinous act to start one, usually hurting a family member or friend.

I believe that life is too short for bitterness and hatred. I tend to not hold grudges for longer than a few minutes or hours - unless the sin is particularly egregious.

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