Cheng

1mo

ENTP
Taurus

8w7

8

7

Are children with very troubled biological mothers that was later adopted by a different family really psychologically and/or physically challenged?

I'm genuinely curious because I am an adopted child. According to my foster parents, my biological parents had me out of wedlock and my mother's parents wanted me to be aborted and they even tried to do so. When my foster parents heard about it, they rushed to my biological mother to convince her to just have me adopted by them and so before I was born, I was already technically their adopted child. Throughout the years of my existence, I've felt very different. I'm emotionally unstable and physically weak. I know deep down that something is wrong with me but I'm very clueless as to what it might be. I've just learned that I'm an adopted child around September of 2021.

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Sam

1mo

INTJ
Taurus

5w4

5

4

Maybe I can better answer this since I come from a similar background. My parents were married but was in the process of divorce. I was supposed to be aborted but my grandmother (lola) convinced my mother not to do so and that it was wrong. My mother reluctantly agreed and she handed me over to my grandmother once i was born. Eventually, my father and my mother divorce finalized and they went their separate ways leaving me with my grandmother who doesnt speak English. I grew up with cousins through my mother's sister's family and grandmother. My mother came back for me like 6-8 years later seeking child support money from my father. Fast forward to high school, i went into the military after graduating. I honestly think you shouldn't let the circumstance of your birth and life cripple you forever. I do really understand that it hurts, consciously and subconsciously, to know that you yourself is unfortunate. The reason why you feel that something is wrong is because of the nonexistent bond between you and your biological parents. Most people never recover from not having a mother and not having a father is the next worst thing. I would like to suggest that you should count your blessings. As imperfect your birth and life is, you were still accepted and wanted by people who loves you. It could be God's will. And if you dont have any underlying illness or disease, you should strive to be emotionally stable and physically strong. Please lookup Jordan Peterson on YouTube. His videos about life and advice is life changing. Always remember that you are love by your adopted parents and God.

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Ben

1mo

INTJ
Virgo

5w6

5

6

I think you only will be if you convince yourself you are. But either way, clearly you're extremely string for dealing with news like that. But I hope you didn't let it change the way you live

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Garret

1mo

INTP
Pisces

I was that child and I went from a bad situation to a worse situation when I was adopted. I have struggled to find peace in my life and have struggled with my self worth but I also believe that I have been able to find something life changing in the process of becoming my new self

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Robert

1mo

ISTP
Scorpio

7w6

7

6

Psychedelics can help you.

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Garret

1mo

INTP
Pisces

@Robert I'd like to find someone to guide me through a good trip. I quit taking mushrooms because they take me back to the experience and it's hard to get through the other side without falling into an unbearable depression. Part of me thinks it may have been the company I had at the time

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Robert

1mo

ISTP
Scorpio

7w6

7

6

@Garret yeah that’s key. You can retraumatize yourself. But having supportive people when you go back can make all the difference.

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Tayvonne

1mo

ISFJ
Aquarius

Well I guess I can only speak for myself, but I would say yes. I was adopted when I was 3 and I've always had mental illness. But apparently it's from my birth mom doing meth when she was pregnant and my birth dad's mental issues. Honestly I would say it's up to the individual situation, however I can say that foster children that come from a troubled home do tend to be more challenged. Also just wanna say I hope you feel alright because I'm sure finding out fairly recently that you're adopted is tough.

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Amelia

1mo

INFP
Sagittarius

4w5

4

5

This is interesting. I’m curious, were you brought up in a stable household? I’m emotionally volatile and can get sick easily as well. I was raised by a parent with narcissistic tendencies and she did something that really shattered my sense of stability in life. After that, I became all the more sensitive and sicklier than I have ever been. Luckily, I have my other parent who really gives me the security I need. You, on the other hand, have always felt that way your entire life, so I think it’s possible that the stress your mother endured during her pregnancy affected your whole biology.

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Stephen

1mo

INTP
Sagittarius

6w7

6

7

Yes. The formative years of our lives have profound impact on how we function.

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𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖙𝖆𝖊

1mo

ENTJ
Cancer

8w7

8

7

That is a very good question. I don't know. I mean, there's a possibility but I'll have to do some research on that to see.

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Adrian

1mo

INFP
Aries

9w8

9

8

Yes, they are. Generally from the confusion of explaining family, the one the law recognizes and the one you call so, to any sort of hardships from toxic and/or hostile households. I am not one but I have spoken to many who were adopted

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Frank

1mo

INFP
Aries

It's going to depend on how much you remember I guess. If you were adopted early then the driving factor will be your foster parents. It's bound to have some impact mind

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0

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Tara

1mo

ENTP
Aries

4w5

4

5

No

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0

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Tania

1mo

INFJ
Sagittarius

2w1

2

1

The saying goes "blood is thicker than water", well, I'll say, "You just need more water". I was adopted by my aunt. My biological family is pretty much the black sheep of the family by choice and did nothing to improve their lives. My aunt was older but she wanted a child, so they gave me away. Growing up, they always told me I was "theirs" and there's always some fraction who thinks I'll end up just like them: broke, uneducated and jobless. But my aunt taught me how to be me. My life hasn't been easy with her due to circumstances along the way, but she taught me how to survive and pull through positively. She had every role into shaping who I am today. I think appreciate my real family—I wouldn't exist without their existence. But my real family played a part in "what" I was: a child, a daughter. But who I am is my aunt's love and care for me throughout the years she's raised me. I may not really understand those who are adopted by strangers (even though I personally know someone who goes through this but I can't speak for their experience), but this much is what I know and I wouldn't change it at all.

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Максим

1mo

INTP
Taurus

Ооооо Телец)

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Robert

1mo

ISTP
Scorpio

7w6

7

6

Yes most likely. Your consciousness. Your thoughts and emotions are just your unconscious programming (largely based on early childhood experiences) being triggered. And adopted kids almost always have trust and abandonment issues from their experience with their biological parents not being there. So it’s extremely common for adopted kids to have serious issues with how they value themselves. Never feeling good enough. Rejection etc. anxiety. Depression. My suggestion would be to consider if you suffer from things like that. If you do then look into psychedelics. They’re the only thing that lets you go deep enough to heal from that. If you’re happy and have no problems then you may be fine.

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Macky

1mo

INTP
Leo

3w4

3

4

Can understand your situation but think positive side of current parents and accept the truth and move on

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0

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Robert

1mo

ISTP
Scorpio

7w6

7

6

Also consider that just because a memory is forgotten doesn’t mean something hasn’t happened that has been severely emotionally disturbing to you. The worst memories are actually repressed. Your brain shuts off really bad experiences from memory because they are so overwhelming and traumatic. When I used to be a psychedelic guide it was common for people to experience long forgotten and buried traumas resurfacing and they would be shaking and crying and a complete mess while they released these emotions. But after that is over they felt at peace and could make healthy connections and feel love. Trauma also causes physical health issues because if you’re in a constant state of stress your immune system is weakened.

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