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Kelly

5 days ago

ISFJ
Libra

2w1

2

1

This kind of haunts me
2 awards

I was bullied by a teacher in elementary school and portrayed and shamed as a 'bad kid' by punishments that weren't deserved.. other kids would tell the teacher that I didn't do it and she would say "I don't believe you" Well she lived in another section of my neighborhood & her daughter came to play night tag with us. After we were done playing night tag, it was really dark out. I told my best friend, we should walk her home, better 3 than 1 walking out at night. The teacher would stop me on my walk home after school to ask if I needed a ride home after that. But it still kind of haunts me, like, maybe stuff like that integrated in me and I made poor life decisions because I'm "bad". Decisions that I've always owned up to at the time, but ten, twenty years later I wish that my childhood was different and I wasn't depicted as "bad". Now I know people don't see me that way.. but I've done some serious damage on myself & regret all of it.

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13

7

Majin Boo

5 days ago

ENTJ
Sagittarius

7w6

7

6

My 5th grade teacher told me I was going to burn in hell and I told her I'm already there lol. But for real I was called a bad kid for years and I kept not making honor roll due to conduct. I showed them all though, I ended up being valedictorian. The fact that you didn't let that teacher change who you are as a person is what matters. Eventually she saw who you really were, but how she treated you says a lot more about who she is than who you are.

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2

0

Kelly

5 days ago

ENFP
Sagittarius

I was also the "bad girl" as a teen and I really did internalize it. I had bad sexual stuff happen to me and was "spoiled goods" and "probably deserved it" to my church, and treated that way. When I got a boyfriend he didn't respect me and treated me like free sex. All my friends had bad sex stuff happen to them too, though they kept it a secret. I wondered "what is so wrong with me that me and even my friends all have bad stuff happen, while good girls don't?" And then when #metoo happened I realized it was all women. I thought my mom and sister had never experienced anything but during metoo they admitted bad stuff had happened to them too. I realized I had been picked on as being spoiled goods purely for admitting it because it was actually happening to all the women, and they were just keeping it a secret. But even though I realized that, it really took several more years to realize that I wasn't bad just because bad things happened to me. Anyways, I also have really wondered what I might have become if I'd just stayed more quiet about it as a kid. If I'd been treated like I was a good girl while going through school. But in the end I've realized the past can't be changed. There's no point wondering what could have been. Instead the best thing is focus on what I learned and apply that to my life to build a better future today.

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0

3

Kelly

5 days ago

ISFJ
Libra

2w1

2

1

And that's what I mean about people not viewing me that way anymore, even though I've done "bad things". I do have a conscience. But for years I had to question it because like you're saying bad things were done where people thought I was a bad kid, even if I hadn't remembered them. Not saying you had to question your conscience. And I'm making myself sound worse than I can be. Sometimes I wonder, if I was raised in different shoes, but still had the same genetic component that I was born with, what different life choices I would've made and how I would've turned out. I'm sure you wouldn't recognize the person to be me. Sorry I don't want to criticize but, the past shouldn't have happened the way it did for me. It's not right

favorite

1

1

Chanté

5 days ago

INFP
Libra

I hope everyone who hurt you gets a knit in their urethra. It's not enough and doesn't fix much but it's a start. I hope you heal and treat yourself with all the sweetness and gentleness you deserve 💖

favorite

1

0

Matthew

5 days ago

ESFJ
Taurus

Some serious danage part … my heart goes out to you.

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0

0

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