Personality

Question

A lot of people adjust or change their personality based on who they are talking to or what situation they are in, for example, you might act differently around one friend group than you do in another. Which one of these "personalities" is truly who YOU are as a person? Or do you think that they all make up a small part of who we are?

Debbie · Accepted Answer

Neuro diverse people do this a LOT, they learn to do it as kids to fit in and find acceptance. It’s a survival thing. Those different personalities tend to be simply highlighting certain parts of their personality that fit while suppressing the parts that don’t. When you become a safe person you start to see those suppressed parts emerge.

It doesn’t commonly happen with neurotypicals. When they have different personalities it tend to be fake. They’re pretending to be something they’re not and when you get to know them you see less of that personality.

♡ Câz ♡ · Answer

Most personality types are introvert or extrovert. However some people say they are ambivert. I think definitely different people can alter some parts of their personality but I wouldn't call it being fake or unauthentic...as it could depend on a couple of things like level of comfort in the social group. For instance, u might be more shy and not so comfortable sharing your opinions or personal info with strangers or extended family (like in-law's fiance's parents that u only meet once a year at a in-law's birthday and is not a blood-related relative), compared to being more comfortable to talk openly if it's with a group of close friends. Me personally, I was introverted as a kid then extroverted at uni and early 20's then became introverted again (Maternity leave and COVID restrictions make people more isolated)...so sometimes it's life circumstances that sort of change personality rather than peers or social groups.

Lukasz · Answer

That's called being inauthentic lol

laila♡ · Answer

I wouldn't say a lot of people are like that,  I've had that problem though,  and as I've gotten older,  I've noticed that it can be a very Gemini trait, since mirroring and picking up mannerisms and ways of speaking are easier to do for the sign.  I find time alone without the influence of other that i find who i am,  and what my opinions are.  Though I'm always open to listen to a healthy opposing view, it's nice to know where my base opinions are and grow from there.

W · Answer

Debbie's comment is quite good, I'll just elaborate on that.

It's adaptation, attempts to blend as effectively as possible, because people relax when they see "like" and it's generally easier to deal with relaxed people on a short-term basis. Partial mimicry is a decent replacement for whatever socializing magic it is that bog-standard brains get equipped with.

Long-term, there's time for *them* to adapt to *you*, and you can properly assess how to deal with them "for real". That's when the per-person specialization fades off and the "real" (full-gamut) personality comes through. Sonetimes with fun* consequences.

... or maybe I'm wrong here and it's really just me who dysfunctions in this particular way :v

*consequences not guaranteed to be fun

Personality

Psychology Community

That's called being inauthentic lol

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