I personally find it completely brain killing that whenever we interact or try to get to know someone the first impression most of the time is based in how cool that person looks/sounds instead of actually get to know that person. Why are we so brainwashed to be attracted from looKs or appearance or just acting cool instead of going to the bottom of every single personality and desires and thinking. It all goes to an end where actually we don’t know each other any more, not us as individuals and we are unable to really connect to other as beings. I hate this and always since I was a kid was something I observed and never liked

Comment

Psychology Community

The psychology community, chat, and discussion.

JOIN NOW

1.4M SOULS

best

new

ChengJu

INTP

Scorpio

on one hand, people's attention span is being shortened by the habit of consuming media. Its a trend that videos are shorter, e.g. tik tok and short stories on YT. And amidst the sea of information, only flashier things can stand out of so many competitors. On the other hand, most people head for social events to have fun. I think its normal for people to opt for people that look like they bear a lot of fun. Other than that, i dont think people often have the reason, nor the interest to know other people on a deep level, which takes a lot of time and effort, and not all wants to be involved with other person's issues. Not sure if it was different from the age before internet, but I sure felt that people are more connected back in school days, where people are tied together more physically, and had many time and multiple facets to connect with multiple sides of a person.

INTJ

Sagittarius

Human intelligence is built around pattern recognition. The idea is that the quicker you realize that the red color splattered all over indicates a predator, the more likely you are to survive. In a social context, we share cultural touchstones based on movies / videos /whatever-you-kids-pay-attention-to-god-i'm-old, so we act and react based around what is recognizable or cool to our in-groups or the group that we are trying to attract. TL;DR: Because it works, in the short term.

B.Ryan

INTP

Sagittarius

I agree 100%.... I am usually very awkward around people when I first meet them. Especially in group settings. And ESPECIALLY if I'm attracted to a female. I usually blow it before I even start.

Sean

ENFJ

Libra

I totally agree with you on that one!

Katherine

INTJ

Taurus

Putting one's best foot forward on a first meeting is human nature. Sadly, I think the pretending to be cool part is just a result of low self esteem. People don't think who they are is acceptable enough, and that's genuinely sad. I have a lot of empathy for those people.

Audrey

INTJ

Capricorn

I had talked with my therapist about this. I don't follow any "cool" trends. The beauty for me being unique, I just do what I do, like what I like because that is me. Love, for me isn't about being cool or popular. Love, for me, is about the soul. It is about a connection that no trend can describe. One of the other things my therapist talked about was instant gratification. It is more about getting it now instead of foundation. I understand about the here and now, but at the same time, we have to understand when it comes to dating and romance, there is another person involved and that is where the only way to know if the person you picked is the right one is to take the time to find out. Ask yourself before taking the dating plunge "Do I have the energy and time to find a meaningful relationship."

Meet New People

20,000,000+ DOWNLOADS

JOIN NOW

#psychology

Gregolonious

14h

INTJ

Aries

2 Awards

How to feel better:

Got some issues weighing you down? Not everything needs to be carried around. Here are some things to undo the blues: ~ Overthinking = write it down ~ Tired = make time to rest ~ Anxious = meditation ~ Sad = exercise ~ Stressed = place yourself in nature ~ Angry = listen to music ~ Low... read more