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Universes
Joe
Posted Sunday, February 5, 2023
1y
INFJ
Taurus
Attention seeking isn't a bad thing
A friend told me that suicide is stupid because the person just wants attention. When I stand in front of the 13 year old version of myself...I watch them harm our body in many ways. They keep the tools of our destruction in a metal box and the evidence of self-abuse is stuffed inside a mattress. I wish someone had noticed sooner my desperation for attention. It was never that I wanted attention so someone would feel sorry for me. I just wanted someone to care. Some adult who would want me- this neglected child- with 2 parents who didn't know how to love themselves. I look upon myself and see what was missing. I see all the love this child had to offer the world and I see all the ways they rejected the love from others because they were made to believe they were not worthy of love. "Failure" the label given by a mother who chose sides and "Ungrateful" the label given by a father who waged wars against his child. "Stranger" the tattoo on my forehead and the question "Who am I" stained on the backs of my eyelids. I don't believe people wake up one day and decide that ending their life is the answer. I believe people are afraid to be alone. I think they can feel like their suffering will only get worse because they believe no one will care if they live or die. If happiness is a state of mind, then so must be sadness. I think we swing through polarities of expansion and implosion. Sometimes deep sadness is a lesson for all of us, a way for us to remember that we aren't alone. I think people seek attention because they want to be loved, but not by anyone around them. I think people desperately want to love themselves and they hurt themselves because they struggle practicing self-compassion. Who is the parent of a child that can't be seen? Does someone stop existing when no one can see them? What was that saying? "Out of sight, out of mind." I think my parents wanted to be loved by people who didn't love themselves. I don't think this cycle of behavior had to come from my own parents. I think that anyone could have made me suicidal if they convinced me I was unworthy of love. All behavior is a form of communication. Sometimes we don't speak the same language. I think it's such a privilege to call people stupid for speaking in a language you haven't learned. That is to say, there is lesson in this for my friend and I am thankful they have a teacher like me to instruct them.
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1.3M SOULS
Jesse
6mo
INFJ
Cancer
Sometimes it is just wanting attention, sometimes they just simply want to escape it all for real! We never know until we talk to them! And wanting attention is not bad either! It's normal to want ppl to know u, love u, care for u! Ppl just make it out to be a bad thing when it's just another cry for help! Like the kids that cry for attention, only to learn that their reasoning is childish, wrong, can't be done, or is ridiculous, that's one thing, but everyone forgets there is a real difference and just throws them all into the one childish category instead of trying to learn their problems! I had a friend of my cousin who committed! We all were shocked! We never knew, thought it was just talk! We just never know unless we TRY to understand them!
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