Chai

Posted Saturday, February 5, 2022

2y

INTJ

Leo

1

9

Why is succe$$ not making me happy?

A few years back the love of my life told our kids and left me for another guy. It devastating, i couldn't believe it after 12years together and now i was losing her. When she said that she didn't love me anymore...i felt me heart physically break and the air in my lungs taken, i think my heart literally stopped beating. The person i thought I'd grow old with..GONE. The 3 years after that was the hardest times of my life. Every second of every day i thought of everything i did wrong or reminisce all the times we were together, replaying the everything we did together like a movie in my head. Telling myself she would come back and that she still loves me. I couldn't imagine or accept that she now loves someone else. My depression lead m%ge ro get hooked on drugs and was always in and out of jail. I was overweight, a drunk and drug addicte who never kept a job in his life. Oneday while im sitting in jail decided that i needed to change my life. I told myself that i need to love myself and take this time to develop and grow into a better me, someone who is independent and able.October 18th 2020 i was released from jail after 18months of being incarcerated. 1st thing i did was put in a job application to the local hog processing plant because i knew they were and still are needing more people and is almost a Guaranteed job position. As i began working i also started dieting and exercising for an hr before work everyday. I went from 218lbs to 170lbs in 3months(message me for before and after pics)and after work i would hit the books to teach myself industrial maintenance and mechanical engineering because i heard that the company had a internal exam that if you pass would qualify me for their maintenance position without needing all the credentials that was required for the position like 3years minimum industrial maintenance experience certification from a trade school in welding and metal fabrication and so on.. one day early 2021 i got to work early and was curious about how the exam would be like so i went and scheduled to take the exam. The morning of the exam i got there 2hrs before my shift as instructed to. After taking the test i was ask to wait in the lobby to wait for my test score. I sat in the lobby for 20mins quietly, it was starting to get near the time i had to clock in so as i was about to tell the receptionist to just give me the bad new she said good job! I looked at her in disbelief and responded "really ?" She smiled and said yes you scored an 87% welcome to maintenance. I walked out the room in disbelief that i am now making $24/hr. Minimum wage here in indiana is only $8:50/hr and the highest wage i ever made was $12/hr. Since then i got a few raises and promotions and making $28/hr. I work about 62hrs a week with 22hrs of overtime pay at time and a half so about $42/hr and gross around $2,000 every week and $80,000 as a single which put me in the top 25% of the average U.S household income. I was also building my credit score and went from no credit to 767 in a single year🙂. With everything I've achieved..why am i not happy with life?