Topics
Creativity
Film & Literature
Music
Activities
Games
Food & Drink
Pets
Causes
Sports
16 Types
Enneagram
Astrology

© 2022 Boo Enterprises, Inc.

Cătă

15d

ENFP
Pisces

6w7

6

7

Trauma dumping/TWs
6 awards

I understand we're all looking for connection here and I can definitely respect attempts at getting some sort of deeper connection to develop. However, please stop trauma dumping, especially with no warning and especially within the first 30 minutes of meeting someone. If you'd like to share something that you know is sad/depressing/traumatic/passing on responsibility for your feelings in some way/sharing your pain, I would appreciate being asked beforehand if I have the time and emotional space to dedicate right at that moment to it. In the end, it comes down to my autonomy. Maybe I've had a bad day, maybe I'm depressed too, maybe I can be triggered as well. It's a two way street and I don't think asking for some warning is too much.

139

46

Comment

Angel

15d

INFJ
Scorpio

4w5

4

5

1 award

agreed. not everyone is a licensed or professional therapist/counselor. this is insanely unhealthy and unwarranted. it's okay to vent but one must ask permission because the last thing someone hurting needs is to be 'abandonded' by pouring their heart out only for rhe person to disappear/be completely unresponsive.

9

0

Reply

Phobytoby

15d

INFP
Leo
1 award

I fully agree people should respect each others autonomy and if you aren't in a good mental space you should find some actual help from someone that can provide it without sacrificing their own mental space, I realised this when I was 7 and my dad hi...

6

0

Reply

Alex

15d

INTJ
Aquarius

Hello. I would like to confess my sins. May I step into your office? Thank you.

4

3

Reply

Cătă

15d

ENFP
Pisces

6w7

6

7

haha I'm not a priest

2

1

Reply

Alex

15d

INTJ
Aquarius
1 award

@Cătă I was not looking for one. What makes you think they should be given intel?

4

1

Reply

Angel

14d

INFJ
Scorpio

4w5

4

5

0

0

Reply

EvaRia

15d

INTJ
Virgo

8w7

8

7

Okay, I will try my best not to. As a person who have ADHD, I may have overshared stuff. 🧸

3

3

Reply

Austin Rushton

14d

INFP
Gemini

4w5

4

5

Same here! When I getting going... man it does not stop! Just something for me to manage recognize more. 😌

0

1

Reply

EvaRia

14d

INTJ
Virgo

8w7

8

7

@Austin Rushton Hahahaa. Especially when we were in the zone. 🤭

0

1

Reply

Austin Rushton

14d

INFP
Gemini

4w5

4

5

@EvaRia True that! Man it's refreshing to know that you get it!

1

0

Reply

Ariel

14d

INFP
Gemini

It is good advice. It also needs be said it's often a way of pushing people away. It's like subconsciously one knows they "won't get another chance" to share so they do it all at once. Anxiety is ... an under lying Mistress. The trick is to be conscious and yes, seek consent, read the room, be patient. Etc.

3

0

Reply

Indra (he/him)

15d

INFP
Cancer

4w5

4

5

That's true, hope more people can understand that and asked first before starting to tell their story 🤞

2

0

Reply

Carver

15d

ENTP
Sagittarius

5w6

5

6

Keep it 100. Although.. Many people don't like to hear that.

2

0

Reply

febj6df433dj76

14d

INTP
Pisces

to be fair you do insist people tell you "what keeps [them] up at night" in your bio

0

5

Reply

Josef

14d

INFP
Sagittarius

4w5

4

5

to be fair there's a difference between what keeps you up at night and the monster that scared you in the first place

1

0

Reply

Cătă

14d

ENFP
Pisces

6w7

6

7

2 awards

to be fair, whoever replies can actually tell me first "it's quite heavy, related to *insert topic*. would you like to know more?" and ideally offer to talk about something else if not. if they're not interested in talking about anything else, clearly the goal was to unload on me and I'm not here for that. hope that cleared things up for you regarding respectful social interactions.

1

1

Reply

febj6df433dj76

14d

INTP
Pisces

@Cătă to be fair, I'm just telling you why you're getting what you're getting. personally I have no idea how you're supposed to take "tell me what keeps you up at night" other than that you are giving explicit preemptive consent for people to talk to you about something personal and heavy. you've basically already said you're okay with it when you put it that way.

0

1

Reply

Cătă

14d

ENFP
Pisces

6w7

6

7

@febj6df433dj76 thank you for your take, I find it incorrect. have a cool one!

0

1

Reply

febj6df433dj76

14d

INTP
Pisces

@Cătă k.

0

0

Reply

Megan

14d

INTJ
Capricorn

5w6

5

6

Glad to see this. I literally dealt with someone who did this and it's honestly draining.

1

0

Reply

Ben

14d

INFP
Capricorn

1w9

1

9

It's not only with people you've just met. It's really bad to trauma dump on your friends too. It takes a toll on them and makes them want to talk to you less. Therapy is really cool -- it just might be hard for you to find a therapist that makes you feel like you're talking to your friend. I've been through dozens of therapists and haven't found the one yet -- I've been in therapy since I was 7.

1

0

Reply

Kyro

14d

ENTP
Virgo

5w4

5

4

Frrr, it's like calm down. I mean if we are both chilling and the conversation flows that way and we're both obviously comfortable with each other sure that happens. But 30 mins innn nooooo. You can already tell that our relationship is going to be stressed if we have one bc ur already exhausting me and I don't even knooooow you.

1

0

Reply

Josef

14d

INFP
Sagittarius

4w5

4

5

I've been on both sides of this sort of thing. Moderation and consent are key.

1

0

Reply

Sarah

15d

ESTJ
Sagittarius

8w7

8

7

So true ! Some people are going through hard times. They just need people who give them a peace of mind

1

0

Reply

Kelsey

14d

INFP
Scorpio

Yeeess exactly this

1

0

Reply

You're Worthy

15d

INFP
Sagittarius

5w4

5

4

I agree. A connection needs to be built before you pore your heart out. It's not just a case of TMI, it's toxic. "I've been hurt. I can't wait to tell you. Because I really want someone to understand. Because I hope you're the one to save me and fix me and never leave me." Without thinking about the other person.

0

0

Reply

Pebbles

14d

INTJ
Aries

1w9

1

9

Guilty. Me on a bay day, trauma dumping unconsciously.

0

0

Reply

Shari

10d

INFJ
Aries

This is very true. Especially when it's to a complete stranger who knows absolutely nothing about you! It's not fair to them, and it isn't fair to the person trauma dumping who may need professional support to help deal with the impact of their trauma. Just not a good situation all around.

0

0

Reply

Chris

14d

ISTP
Scorpio

Took a shocking amount of time for me to understand what this was about. That's on me.

0

0

Reply

Austin Rushton

14d

INFP
Gemini

4w5

4

5

This is something that I am guilty of. But I am here to be more cognizant of this particular issue. Definitely looking to get more therapy moving forward to be more aware of it overall. So though it feels good for me... it isn't that beneficial for the other party. So thank you for the reminder ☺️ Will keep this in mind moving forward!

0

0

Reply

Related Posts

#psychology

Bianca

19h

INFP
Gemini

9w1

9

1

Why do people spread rumors that are not true?

I had someone spread a really mean and untrue rumor about me recently. It upset me because I'm not even sure how it started. I don't socialize a lot and the rumor about me had to have come from someone who doesn't know me well as my close friends know it couldn't be true. I just wonder what is the...

4

21

#psychology

Joseph

17h

INTP
Gemini

8w7

8

7

Self reflection
1 award

Been doing some deep looks into myself as of late. Currently trying to better myself physically while meditating. Cleaning out some major closets upstairs to begin my journey to what I should be. Trying to quit smoking today is my last smoke. Then comes the huge battle with all my deepest inner...

11

4

#psychology

A

23h

INFJ
Aries

5w4

5

4

❤️

How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?

3

14

#psychology

Devin

3h

INFJ
Pisces
Mindset around habits
1 award

i was reading atomic habits and james clear raised a interesting idea. instead of focusing on the goal focus on the habits. i love this idea, if you think about it there's alot of things out there that have not immediate affects but we know it's very important for our life. like eating right. But...

7

4

#psychology

Terry

4h

INTJ
Leo

8w7

8

7

Incapable of love theory

Ok, so I had this thought the other day. Say you're dating someone, and all is going well. They seem into you, and vice versa. You guys are in a committed relationship for a long long time, maybe even getting married. On their deathbed they reveal that they were in the relationship with you...

5

4

#psychology

Aymane

5h

INTJ
Cancer

2w3

2

3

Do you find this accurate ?

10

8

#psychology

Lea

1d

ENFP
Pisces

7w8

7

8

What Disney princess are you?!

Chicas! A fun funny game for you! Tell me who's your favorite Disney princess, and I will tell you what kind of a guy you want. (It's all a joke and in good spirits, people with no sense of humor or bad attitude please skip this post!) Who's brave enough?! LZ

8

52

#psychology

Aymane

1d

INTJ
Cancer

2w3

2

3

I still can't understand how the lack of conflict negatively affects a relationship

Does any one of you have an experience or was in a relationship that failed because you get along too well, or there is not enough conflict ? Btw, Jordan Peterson talked about this and it seems it's something well established.

3

5

#psychology

🌸 Kenny 🥋 ケニー 🎋

8h

ENFP
Gemini
What do you consider sexy?

For me it’s eyes and when I get the chance to observe longer, attitude and behaviour…

2

7

#psychology

Amirhossein Ghazanfari

13h

ISTJ
Sagittarius
What can make you really happy when you come back home after an awful day at work?

1

11

#psychology

Doozie

18h

ESTJ
Libra

2w1

2

1

Have you ever loved someone so much that you didn't care if they cheated or what they did,... So much that they thought...

2

4

#psychology

Daniel

1d

INTJ
Taurus

6w7

6

7

Here's a surprise

Did you know that "Kinks" are hereditary... Let that sink in 😖

5

11

#psychology

Mila

7h

ISFJ
Taurus

8w7

8

7

Would you say for yourself that you're mentally strong or not?

6

12

#psychology

Devin

5h

INFJ
Pisces
recommendations for lowering stress?

I have to be very productive in my life currently, but i find that my stress seems to be hindering my way of being productive. any recommendations ?

1

5

#psychology

Mithun

13h

ENFJ
Sagittarius
I never cared about MBTI but this app is making me unconsciously pay attention to them. I think the reason behind that...

3

27

#psychology

Payton Lauren

17h

ENTP
Libra
What are you most proud of?

Pride is an interesting emotion, curious to see what you guys got 👀

0

14

#psychology

Euricco

5h

INTJ
Libra

9w1

9

1

Night tought

Imagine drowing in a sea full of happiness, unlike the true world that is full of misery n pain. We could die in peace there . . . . But you know what, that's how life should be. Life will not shower you with happiness; bad things will happen, even if they are traumatic.Just hold tight till we get...

3

2

#psychology

Rain

16h

INFP
Virgo
Q nA

Should psychopaths be subjected to therapy or punishment?

0

13

#psychology

Kairo

8h

INFJ
Libra
Qualities you are looking for in your significant other.

1

5

#psychology

Payton Lauren

1d

ENTP
Libra
Why do attractive people get better treatment?

Overall, in life, attractive people get an insane boost to their abilities in day to day life entirely based on how good they look, and using it to your advantage can really get you ahead, however, why is this so true? I've never understood the psychological process that takes place that would put...

5

8

Some text some message..