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Natalie

5 days ago

INFJ
Aquarius
LAT

An abbreiation that has been coined by introverts and something I’m leaning more into. LAT: Living Apart Together. Not long distance, but actually living apart in the same city while being together long term. Is anyone else exploring this, and if so why? What brought you to this solution?

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1

11

Austin

5 days ago

INFJ
Aries

5w4

5

4

To get this straight..... We are talking about 2 people, in a face-to-face relationship.... Who never plan to move in with eachother?

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0

6

Natalie

4 days ago

INFJ
Aquarius

That’s correct

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1

Austin

4 days ago

INFJ
Aries

5w4

5

4

Well, like alot of things in life..... It's a coin flip if it'll be good or bad. But let me put this out there. Traditional coupling was made to strengthen a bond between two people. People already spend enough time apart as it is. It also lightens the load in financial terms. Two people, one domain and one budget is a great way to provide for everybody involved. Also, in over populated areas..... This would be a hindrance, not an advantage. Less living space for everybody else. I'd also imagine the possibility of cheating is higher. A significant other not being around enough is literally why most cheaters cheat. Forget about children. Are they going to swap the child between places like a broken divorced couple. It just feels like a bad idea born by a couple who puts their needs before others. And it has plenty of ways to go bad. But I'd imagine some people would be happy. I'm a big believer in the lack of time spent with eachother starting a longing for eachother. Much like a significant other taking a work trip and you missing them like crazy. And when they come back.... Fireworks. But this only works with a couple that has a close bond. LAT couples lose this by already spending time away from eachother. And normalize the feeling. And that's another disadvantage LAT couples. Just seem like a bad idea that'll only work for couples who like their privacy too much to be in a normal coupling.

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Natalie

3 days ago

INFJ
Aquarius

Thanks for this very thorough and bias opinion. The question was definitely if someone was exploring this lifestyle and why. I think it’s very easy to point to the advantages of a socially normalized situation. Obviously this way of living isn’t for everyone, but neither is married with 2.5 kids and a white picket fence… which by the way ends in divorce about 50% of time. Also, if someone has to be next to their significant other to increase the chances of not cheating, there’s probably other problems there. I’m not saying it’s right for me, but I’m also not completely against the concept. I think if you have two consenting adults that don’t want children with the means to not need financial support, it could be a viable option.

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Austin

3 days ago

INFJ
Aries

5w4

5

4

It's not that you have to be there to not cheat. 'Cause anybody can say I'm going out with a friend and cheat. It's the action of not spending time with some that may make them feel unwanted or lonely. But some LAT couples are just serving couples on a cheat platter. When long distance couples for example usually fail. It's because they get comfortable with time apart. Another possible platter on the LAT menu. To be perfectly honest, this whole idea feels like it started as a way for someone to be in a relationship while cheating on that person. And you really shouldn't feed that kind of idea. As for marriages ending in divorce 50% of the time. Which seems quite a bit exaggerated. If someone gets divorced, it's not because they moved in with someone. It's because they were never meant to be together period. They just thought they did. Or someone cheated. Which is what LAT couples have a probability for. But everybody thinks fire is great until they get burned. I've always thought that if you really want to change someone's opinion on a bad idea. Just let them experience it 😁 I will add this...... Since, I've talked to all kinds of people in all kinds of situations in my line of work. People get jaded when they get cheated on or left. Suddenly any other option looks like a great option. Even solitude or unconventional coupling. But you know what every person like that wishes for when they are passing. A family of their own making who loved them enough to live under the same roof.

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Natalie

3 days ago

INFJ
Aquarius

Once again, I was looking for the thoughts of people who have experienced it, but thank you for your opinion. You’re entitled to it. You seem very concerned with cheating. If that is something that has happened to you, my sincerest sympathies. 50% of marriages ending in divorce isn’t exaggerated, it is statistical data. Furthermore, it does not account for the marriages that are staying together for the kids, for the money, or the people that are just plain unhappy. I think it’s quite closed minded to assume that everyone wants the same single family home that is fed to you by society. I have nothing against social norms, but once they start becoming a platform to shame or judge those that don’t conform, it becomes a problem. If the standard 2 parent household makes everyone involved the most happy, then I support it; but I’m realistic enough to know that that’s not always the case. We get one shot on this planet, why not do what makes you happy, whatever that looks like. I wish you the best in your journey.

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Austin

3 days ago

INFJ
Aries

5w4

5

4

I'm just pointing out a weakness. You ignored the child care aspect of my debate. And you also ignored the way these relations affect other people in the area. So, I figured I'll hit the one flaw you aren't trying to pretend doesn't exist. Although, I do find it interesting that you chose to talk about that. Granted, supporting the others would've made you look like a horrible person. But you are very deliberately choosing to not think about the idea. And if you really want to talk close-minded.... How about the fact that you started out your sentence with "once again, you were looking for thoughts from a certain perspective" as if mine weren't welcome because they were disputing the idea..... and that bit about "fed to you by society". 'Cause that's a normal reaction to a social norm 😮‍💨And 50% again? And where did you get that statistic? A Google search specifically worded to find those results. That's like me typing in lochness monster and believing what comes up 😆 Do you realize how many marriage participants aren't even in the census. You must really want those numbers to be true 😆 Look, it's fairly obvious that you are hanging alot more than curiousity on this idea. At first I cared a bit about someone leaning into a bad decision. But after that whole "fed to society" bit. It's pretty obvious that you are a few almonds short of a candy bar in this debate. By that, I mean you aren't going to listen no matter how true my words are. As for the last part of your comment.... "Why not do what makes you happy". It won't make you happy. No matter how much you pretend it will.

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Matt

5 days ago

INFP
Virgo

6w5

6

5

I actually know a couple like this. Been together 20 years. Both have thier own houses, lives, job. Just spend every weekend with each other. He explained it as, we work great together, but we drive each other nuts after 5 days

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Ingrid 🇫🇷in🇺🇸

5 days ago

ESFP
Sagittarius

2w1

2

1

For love I let him live freely conceding to find us only for the good moments.

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제시카

5 days ago

ENTP
Capricorn

4w5

4

5

I would love to try this

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1

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