Boo

Posted Sunday, November 23, 2025

15d

ISTJ

Why extroverts avoid introverts (my experience)

Disclaimer: I do realize that MBTI is just a theory which doesn't define the personality precisely (let alone people who were not honest while passing the test). As an introverted girl, I can easily understand the urge to find the comfortable and peaceful environment. And other introverts seem to be able to provide it. That's why two of my besties are introverts, and our long lasting friendship is really harmonious: there're no arguments, but tacit understanding instead. As an introverted girl, I agree that extroverts sometimes seem to be too noisy and irritating, especially the moment your social battery is low. And I can easily imagine that for extroverts, introverts may look boring. Nevertheless! I've been spending great times with my extroverted bestie since 2014. She just takes the initiative and always considers my condition. But for some reason, when it comes to dating, I've been approached by introverts almost all the time. Why is that? I do have introverted friends, but we know each other for a while, so there's no problem in communicating. Meanwhile, there IS a problem every time introverted strangers approach me: they either don't start the conversation at all or fall silent (as soon as their social battery is low, I guess). When I had a closer look, it turned out that most match requests in the app belong to INFPs, INTJs and INTPs, sometimes to ISTJs like me. Although I still remember that those people could just pick a random MBTI, all my exes seem to have one of the personalities I mentioned above. And all my relationships failed unfortunately. Meanwhile, extroverts whom I find interesting seem to avoid me. For instance, Boo even marks ESTJs as compatible with mine, however I could hardly remember 2 or 3 match requests sent to me by ESTJs during the last 3 (!) years. I'm also interested in ENTJs, even though Boo believes that we're non-compatible. My bestie is ENTJ, I know what I'm talking about. Again, I could hardly remember any ENTJ here. You may have thought: "Why on earth you haven't approached the people you are interested in by yourself?" First of all, I tried. Both here and in real life. And every time I was ignored. Secondly, I'm just sick and tired to take the initiative. All my exes relied on me and called me a strong leader. But I'm not! Being reliable and responsible doesn't mean an urge to be a leader. I also want to be the one who is pampered. I also want to have a person who makes decisions next to me. I also want to rely on someone. So far, no one of my potential partners looked like supporter and care giver. They rather were looking for support and care. Sorry, guys, I've already spent 10 years being a perfect wife, who solved all problems, made all decisions and took care of her spouse. Nevermore. Well, back to the topic. Why this joke isn't actual anymore? "How introverts make friends? They don't. An extrovert finds them and adopted them".

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