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Demí
Demí

21d

INFP

Sagittarius

6
5

I'm so tired of good men who are emotionally unavailable

I know that people can't help to be emotionally unavailable. I know it's because of their and pain that they've gone through in their life. I don't know why I have to find these people though. I find a good person I become attracted to them but they don't want anything to do with me. And I get that not everyone is going to be attracted to me. I don't even think it's about that. It's just the fact that when I know that someone is flirting with me and they show interest but then tell me that they don't want to date right now or that they will never be interested in dating, kills my soul. Does nobody want to date anymore? This is not me asking people to respond to this post telling me that they want to date me. Lol. Let's just make that clear. This is just me venting because what are you doing flirting with a person in a way that tells them that you want a future with them, but then you backtrack and you say you don't want anything? Relationships are frustrating. Now I understand why the population has gone down in their birth rates but also why people just want sex from people because hurt people don't stop hurting people and it affects good people who don't deserve it. (edited)

12

21

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Zack

Zack

21d

INFJ

Taurus

There’s not really one answer to this. As someone new to dating again as of a few hours ago this is a pretty terrifying landscape. I know for me my biggest fear is doing something wrong, repeatedly, for a long period of time and by the time I either figure it out on my own or my partner finally tells me, it’s too late. The damage is done. I can never truly be sure that isn’t happening.

3

0

Reply

Zach-Alias

Zach-Alias

21d

INFP

Libra

2
1

Believe me when I say I understand. But there are those who are emotionally available while still working on their own flaws, such as me, nobody you meet will ever be at one hundred percent cause we all deal with something otherwise there wouldn't be so many rotten people to begin with. Personally, I still believe in dating, but I don't have the patience to waste time on those who are aren't as serious as me. I can't do the emotionless sex thing even if I wanted to, my trauma and intimacy issues wouldn't permit it. Which is why I have to move slow and be comfortable with someone I trust. The ppl who do what you said aren't honest with themselves, and do not know themselves or what they want. So, not worth you're time if you seek a relationship. But I have limited experience in this field so what do I know? 😆 Sorry for the long message. (edited)

3

0

Reply

💋🦊Vixen🦊💋

💋🦊Vixen🦊💋

21d

ENTJ

Taurus

8
7

A true intimate relationship is extremely hard. You cannot hide your flaws or your past from somebody that you live with, share a life with and are in a vulnerable state with. Those who are telling you they're not emotionally available are at least being honest to you. All you can really control is yourself. Focus on getting to a place where you don't require anyone, enjoy solitude and won't settle for less than you deserve. That empowered me to really take control of my social and romantic life. I hit up my current boo off here not the other way around. Sometimes the best men are too shy or think too little of themselves to reach out first. Women want equal rights well start asking men out.

3

0

Reply

Jose

Jose

21d

INTJ

Capricorn

9
1

I do agree with your sentiment. People do look for different things and it can be heartbreaking. That being said everyone is at different life stages and finding someone is a miracle, just like the miracle of people being born.

2

0

Reply

Aleks

Aleks

21d

INTJ

Leo

4
5

It sounds shady, cause if a person is not interested in dating, the peraon will not flirt...

1

0

Reply

Alistair

Alistair

21d

INTP

8
9

Have you tried being compassionate to good men who are hurt and earning their trust without abusing their vulnerabilities?

0

3

Reply

Dylan

Dylan

21d

INFJ

Taurus

2
3

I can't speak for others but for me I feel like I am in a state of being on the edge of being emotionally available. Time and patience are key for me, and I will communicate with a partner if I feel like they are moving too fast for me or if I am hesitant to use certain words or phrases like "I love you." I honestly kind of feel like a shelter dog who has been surrendered to the shelter, spending years in my kennel, adopted and then sheltered again. I am afraid that if I let myself love again I will just be abandoned again. So I will flirt trying to get out of the "shelter dog" feeling but then crash into the wall of "oh my god, they might actually like me, but I don't want to be hurt again," and retreat back into my shell and become defensive. Now I'm not saying that I need a partner that is going to be an owner or care taker. It is that I am looking for a family and a "forever home."

1

0

Reply

Trevon

Trevon

21d

ISTJ

Scorpio

1
2

I do think it's an unfortunate consequence of degenracy becoming socially acceptable.

0

0

Reply

Joshua

Joshua

20d

ISFP

Virgo

9
8

I've been hurt alot and I'm emotional at times, but that's never stop me from being available and wanting a real relationship with someone. I wanna love and wanna feel something real just like everyone else

0

0

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