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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius
Dating with intent

Do you prefer to let things develop naturally over time or are you only interested in getting to know people that want the same thing as you? Personally I think only dating for a relationship or marriage, prevents you from genuinely getting to know someone. They're more likely to keep up a facade, showing their best qualities and do what it takes to reach their goal

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Kendall

1 month ago

ENTP
Libra

8w9

8

9

I find that alot of times, I hear the saying "if it happens it happens". Personally I find this to be a cop out and an excuse not to take action towards the things you desire. With that being said, people waste so much time sometimes that they don't know how to keep the love alive.

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1

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

If you're going with the flow, you're absolutely able to share that you're ready to move on to the next stage, and if they aren't then decide if you want to stay or acknowledge your time with them has run it's course. I can't agree it's a cop out, some are satisfied just dating around vs committing and that's okay too

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0

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Melissa

1 month ago

INFP
Pisces

I've learned now that I prefer to let things develop naturally over time. I rushed into my marriage because I thought that meant ultimate happiness. Turns out I was wrong. We should have spent a lot more time courting instead of rushing in after a few months after the proposal. I used to date with intent. Now I enjoy meeting new people and learning about different perspectives.

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

Thank you for sharing ♥️

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0

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rhys

1 month ago

ENTP
Virgo

when you say, "dating with intent," do you mean intent to date a specific person because you like them, or intent to date to achieve social status?

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

What I see on dating apps and conversation on Twitter, dating with intent, means even before you meet someone you would only date them if they also explicitly wanted to work towards a relationship or marriage.

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1

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rhys

1 month ago

ENTP
Virgo

wait, what? who dates someone that *isn't* trying to work toward a relationship or marriage? if you're dating someone, aren't you already in a relationship?

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1

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

No. Dating can be open or exclusive but isn't a relationship That's why it's called dating around, it's the phase before establishing a relationship. You go on dates and communicate to establish and determine compatibility. Also folks date for a number of different reasons, short term, long term, casual dating without wanting anything serious. It's not just to end up in a relationship.

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rhys

1 month ago

ENTP
Virgo

but then if you're dating to establish a relationship, and they aren't the same, how does that prevent people from getting to know each other?

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1

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

Like I aluded to in the og post. In my experience when dating for a relationship the other party behaved how they thought I wanted them to, to get closer to getting a relationshio rather than be their genuine self. It was an act

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0

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rhys

1 month ago

ENTP
Virgo

i mean, unless you get into a serious long term relationship with someone, you're unlikely to really know them until you get to that point with them. people always start with their best qualities, whether you start as friends or start on dates, there are so many layers to a person. get to know them casually, get to know them as lovers, get to know them as roommates, get to know them as spouses, get to know their family, get to know them as parents when you have kids, you never really stop getting to know someone. people change. it's really not simple know matter how you approach it.

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

Yeah but it's not about completely knowing them rather the behavior and way people present themselves when dating intentionally vs casually. I'm not saying it's one size fits all or x always works. Only speaking one what I've experienced and my prefence. Which posed the question what do others prefer.

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Brandi

1 month ago

ISTJ
Pisces

I think letting things go naturally is how you know. Having a preconceived idea taints the real experience

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1

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

Agreed I think that's why I also shy away from describing my "type" in detail,

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0

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Kelly

1 month ago

ENFP
Sagittarius

I agree if a desire to have kids is not part of the equation. But if someone wants to have kids, and especially a big family, it makes sense to date with intent. You want to date someone who's willing to commit, wants a family, and wants to start while you're still young.

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1

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Anthony

1 month ago

ISFP
Aquarius

Kids can be a big deal, but has a lot of caveats under it. Like do they have to be biological, open to adoption, pets etc. What comprises a family is up to them to define. A lot of folks are opting to focus on career first and go for kids later like mid-upper 30s. So not as time strenuous unless you going for double digits 😂

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Morgan [ Currently inactive]

1 month ago

INFP
Cancer

5w6

5

6

I like letting things fall into place, if you chase something and try to hard for it it's more likely not worth your time Plus you actually get to know the person

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0

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Ashley

1 month ago

ISFP
Virgo

4w5

4

5

I need to be friends with someone before taking it a step further.

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