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Nirmal
Nirmal

1mo

ENFP

Sagittarius

I, unwittingly, rejected someone that I like. Need advice on how to remedy the situation.

This person is someone who lives in my apartment building. She is stunning with a badass vibe. I developed a small crush of sorts on her. Never had the chance to speak to her whenever we crossed paths. I ran into her at a concert where I was hired as a photographer. I took some shots of her and we got talking. Whenever I am out taking photographs, I forget everything else. So, towards I suggested that we take some photos in flat, as I had left most of my equipment at home. She agreed. Here is the kicker, she wanted to hookup but I was just focused on getting the shots right. Towards the end, she gave me a hug and left. The next time I met her, she was cold and distant. Thats when I realised that she felt rejected. If it at all matters, I have ADHD+autism which makes it harder for me to read social cues. Is there anyway I can get a second chance or should I let this go ? (edited)

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Sydney

Sydney

1mo

INTP

Scorpio

5
4

Your best bet is to be honest with her just ask her to get coffee or tea if she prefers and then explain that you have a hard time noticing social ques and wanted to make sure that she didn’t feel disrespected or uncomfortable during the photo shoot. If she’s still cold after that move on people who can’t understand that when you are in the zone you aren’t purposely ignoring them your just passionate about what your doing will never understand and will continue to take any non attention you give them as an indirect rejection. She could have just as easily used her words to ask you out instead of trying to do it cryptically and then getting one sidedly hurt when you didn’t respond to her non verbal ques. Her feelings are not your responsibility and as an adult she should know that communicating what she wants will go much further then assuming that people will know based off her body language. Anyway so the response is a little long winded but I hope it helps!

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1

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Roka

Roka

1mo

INFP

Sagittarius

4
5

Hmm, that's a tough situation. I've been in similar situations where I don't know how someone feels or what they're thinking, so I always find it's important to just ask and be clear about what's happening. At this point, I'd say just tell her how you feel next time you run into her. Just basically say what you said here, that you think she's stunning and badass, the other night you felt like there might have been something happening but you were just so absorbed in your work you might have missed the clues. You didn't mean to reject her or anything, but it feels like things have been off since then. Then just ask her out on a date or to get a drink or something to try again, clearing defining that you like her. At this point, you don't really have anything to lose so might as well shoot your shot! Maybe she felt something the other night, or maybe not. If she says no, you haven't lost anything either.

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2

Reply

Howard

Howard

1mo

INFJ

Aries

8
7

Well did she say she wanted to hookup or are you just assuming she did? If she actually said so out loud, how did you respond? If not and you just think she did, just ask her next time you see her if she'd actually like to go out for lunch or coffee sometime because you want to get to know her better. You already have a built in conversation starter due to the photos.

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