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Tommy
1y
INFP
Aries
You gotta put that pic of you and the shrooms first I do not think I have ever seen any one that happy about anything in my whole life xD
Honestlyladies get far more matches/likes than guys. I compared with my friend she would get 100 or more a week and I'm like 1 would be nice :P
The few people I have matched had really dead end conversations.
Honestly your bio is short and gives me an insite to who you are and you are definitely not a bad looking person :P
Hope this helps but a ladies perspective might help you more :)
1
3
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Justan
1y
INFJ
Leo
I've actually been considering that! I think it's a decentpicture haha and shows I'm interesting I guess? But yeah, it's tough seeing my wife having the option to choose between dozens of people, both men and women while I sit here with nothing 😂
0
1
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Tommy
1y
INFP
Aries
@JustanIf it's becoming an issue of imbalance you could always talk to her and try coupleswapping with someone. I'm sure your not the only ENM in the world with this going on ^-^
0
1
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Justan
1y
INFJ
Leo
@Tommy We've only been at it a few weeks so I'm not going to jump to anything yet, but that may be a good option!
1
0
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Bruce
1y
INFP
Gemini
Hello Justan, I'm going to be honest and I might say some things that aren't great, so in advance I'm sorry if they sound insulting but here it goes.
First of all I'd say you seem prettycute and if I swung that way I would probably be interested.
You have quite a good balance of photos which is personal what I think most people will be interested in. The one with you and the kid, the dog and you with the mushrooms are great.
However and sorry if this is bad for me to say but the other photos do show you bold and short which might be a turn off for some people. Some girls might like that but I think in general most might not, but all I can say is my preference so who knows.
I would also say you was a little bitpolitical at the start, it's really not that bad but personally I'd recommend not talking about politics or at least not straight away.
But other than that the rest of your written part of the bio is good and descriptied without being too much.
And I'd recommend making your open relationship a bit clearer because I didn't know what ENM stand for and wouldn't have got it if it wasn't for this post.
And I wouldn't take it personally that your wife has more matches. In general girls have a massive advantage with dating apps. I've tried several for years and I haven't even had a date from one of them let alone a wife, so try to remember what you did when you met her, it seemed to work. 😅
Either way, I hope this helps and good luck.
0
4
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Justan
1y
INFJ
Leo
Thank you for the input! Overall I think it was positive and I like hearing that.
When it comes to politics, I never had political stuff before. I'm not a political person at all and hate politics but unfortunately in so many apps, people list their political views which is the only reason I got slightly political, in the sense I want people to know I don't care. Maybe I'll take it out but it's the newest "update" to my bio so I want to see how it goes.
As for being short, I know that's definitely a turn off for some and something I'll just have to deal with unfortunately. I'm not crazy short, just not anywhere neartall haha.
I appreciate the feedback very much!
1
1
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Bruce
1y
INFP
Gemini
@Justan No problem I'm glad you appreciate it.
Yeah you should try the politics for a while and see if anyone elsecomments about it.
Everyone has different likes and opinions, so maybe the generalpopulation do like politics for example. Something for me to try maybe 😅
The main thing is to not lose your self trying to impress people. A little compromise and improvement can be good but losing your own values and beliefs can be unhealthy.
0
1
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Justan
1y
INFJ
Leo
@Bruce I love how positive you are, you have definitely made me think about how I'm approching this in a new way!
It's just true that women get more matches and being in an ENM relationship I feel adds even more difficultly finding matches because it's not something everyone is interested and may dissuade some people from interacting if it's just not their thing. So I think it's hard enough to be a male on a dating app and then having that added to may make it even harder.
May just take some time but I hope you will end up being able to find someone you connect well with!
Ofc this is just my thoughts/theories as a girl. I can't speak too much to the male experience on dating apps other than what I see men saying which is that it can be difficult.
0
1
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Justan
1y
INFJ
Leo
Oh it's definitely difficult and the ENM is for sure making it harder. The couple matches I have gotten have immediately unmatched afterlearning it. It's unfortunate but I'm hopeful I will meet the right person or people!
1
0
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Posted Thursday, March 24, 2022
1y
Can you give me some honest feedback on me and my profile?
Hello! Recently my wife and I decided to try an ENM relationship. She is having a lot of fun chatting up new people. I, on the other hand, am really struggling to connect with people. I'm currently on 6 or so different apps and I can't seem to get any matches on any of them. I've only been holding a consistent conversation with one person I have "matched" with out of the hundreds I have tried to match with. At first I didn't even have ENM listed but figured it would be good for people to know and filter out those not interested in that which definitely makes the pool a lot smaller. I've changed up my profile multiple times to try and get different results with no success. My wife has "audited" my profiles and says she sees nothing wrong with them and that I'd definitely be someone she would talk to but we met on a dating app 5 years ago, go figure 😂 To be honest, it's hard for me to enjoy this ENM lifestyle when I feel completely left out and my wife is having all the fun. It has been a major hit to my self esteem and overall mental health. I'm a bigger guy but don't think I'm ugly by any means. My interests are a little different but I've also seen many people with similar ones. So I ask you, can you give me an honest opinion of both my looks and my profile? I'd love to get some unbiased feedback and can absolutely take brutal honesty. Thanks!! 😁
1
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297K SOULS
Best
Best
Best
New
1y
You gotta put that pic of you and the shrooms first I do not think I have ever seen any one that happy about anything in my whole life xD Honestly ladies get far more matches/likes than guys. I compared with my friend she would get 100 or more a week and I'm like 1 would be nice :P The few people I have matched had really dead end conversations. Honestly your bio is short and gives me an insite to who you are and you are definitely not a bad looking person :P Hope this helps but a ladies perspective might help you more :)
1
3
1y
I've actually been considering that! I think it's a decent picture haha and shows I'm interesting I guess? But yeah, it's tough seeing my wife having the option to choose between dozens of people, both men and women while I sit here with nothing 😂
0
1
1y
@Justan If it's becoming an issue of imbalance you could always talk to her and try couple swapping with someone. I'm sure your not the only ENM in the world with this going on ^-^
0
1
1y
@Tommy We've only been at it a few weeks so I'm not going to jump to anything yet, but that may be a good option!
1
0
1y
Hello Justan, I'm going to be honest and I might say some things that aren't great, so in advance I'm sorry if they sound insulting but here it goes. First of all I'd say you seem pretty cute and if I swung that way I would probably be interested. You have quite a good balance of photos which is personal what I think most people will be interested in. The one with you and the kid, the dog and you with the mushrooms are great. However and sorry if this is bad for me to say but the other photos do show you bold and short which might be a turn off for some people. Some girls might like that but I think in general most might not, but all I can say is my preference so who knows. I would also say you was a little bit political at the start, it's really not that bad but personally I'd recommend not talking about politics or at least not straight away. But other than that the rest of your written part of the bio is good and descriptied without being too much. And I'd recommend making your open relationship a bit clearer because I didn't know what ENM stand for and wouldn't have got it if it wasn't for this post. And I wouldn't take it personally that your wife has more matches. In general girls have a massive advantage with dating apps. I've tried several for years and I haven't even had a date from one of them let alone a wife, so try to remember what you did when you met her, it seemed to work. 😅 Either way, I hope this helps and good luck.
0
4
1y
Thank you for the input! Overall I think it was positive and I like hearing that. When it comes to politics, I never had political stuff before. I'm not a political person at all and hate politics but unfortunately in so many apps, people list their political views which is the only reason I got slightly political, in the sense I want people to know I don't care. Maybe I'll take it out but it's the newest "update" to my bio so I want to see how it goes. As for being short, I know that's definitely a turn off for some and something I'll just have to deal with unfortunately. I'm not crazy short, just not anywhere near tall haha. I appreciate the feedback very much!
1
1
1y
@Justan No problem I'm glad you appreciate it. Yeah you should try the politics for a while and see if anyone else comments about it. Everyone has different likes and opinions, so maybe the general population do like politics for example. Something for me to try maybe 😅 The main thing is to not lose your self trying to impress people. A little compromise and improvement can be good but losing your own values and beliefs can be unhealthy.
0
1
1y
@Bruce I love how positive you are, you have definitely made me think about how I'm approching this in a new way!
1
1
1y
@Justan Aw thanks and I'm glad to hear it. ☺️
1
0
1y
It's just true that women get more matches and being in an ENM relationship I feel adds even more difficultly finding matches because it's not something everyone is interested and may dissuade some people from interacting if it's just not their thing. So I think it's hard enough to be a male on a dating app and then having that added to may make it even harder. May just take some time but I hope you will end up being able to find someone you connect well with! Ofc this is just my thoughts/theories as a girl. I can't speak too much to the male experience on dating apps other than what I see men saying which is that it can be difficult.
0
1
1y
Oh it's definitely difficult and the ENM is for sure making it harder. The couple matches I have gotten have immediately unmatched after learning it. It's unfortunate but I'm hopeful I will meet the right person or people!
1
0