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Josh

14 days ago

ISTJ
Sagittarius

6w5

6

5

Just getting out of a long term relationship

Myself, just got out of a long term relationship (6 years). The initial break was really bad at first but has become mutial, deeming that maybe things had been bad for a while and this could be the best for us. I still find it hard to think that there could be anything beter. (it wasnt totally mutial). I loved her with my whole heart, but didnt always show it very well. I didnt notice that i wasnt showing it well untill it was to late, and the damage was done and there wasnt coming back. (Its very complicated) Im not sure why im posting this, but its a big thing going on in my life right now.

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13

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Billy

14 days ago

ENTP
Gemini

You got thus bro. I'm in the middle of a divorce myself. Well pretty much at the end now...... I left her with everything and she's still dragging my name through the mud. Still I loved her and don't wish to see her or my dogs homeless. But of course I'm the bad guy for giving her 300,000 dollars worth of assets while I live out of a suv working up north.

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3

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Cedric

14 days ago

INFJ
Capricorn

2w1

2

1

Damn sorry to hear. Is she bipolar? I have to ask because I hear very similar stories from spouses of bipolars.

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Niki

13 days ago

INTP
Taurus

Wishing you nothing but full of happiness🥺

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Melanie

14 days ago

INTP
Gemini

5w4

5

4

With any event in your life, whether its academic, professional, emotional, or interpersonal, it's hard to see past it while you're in the midst of it. Picture a train. Trains are made up of several different 'cars' or sections. For someone who is a passenger, and is sitting within one of those sections, they're completely unaware of what the other parts of the train look like. They know they exist, because they know how trains look, but they can't physically see the other parts or the people/things inside of them. Whereas for someone who is driving by, or walking on an overpass the train is underneath, they're able to see it in its entirety. They know how it looks on the outside, they can physically see the individual cars, but they have no intimate knowledge of what's inside. The difference between these two people are their perspectives at that point in their lives. For the first person, they happen to be inside of the car, or experiencing the event firsthand. For the second person, they're on the outside. Perhaps this is a friend or a family member. This person sees all of the possibilities and opportunities awaiting the first person, but isn't able to fully relate or empathize because they're not in the car, too. Basically, you're in the train right now. And that's okay, because that's where you happen to be at this point in your life. So naturally the things right in front of your eyes, ie the feelings you felt/still feel, the memories, your doubts, etc will be all that you see. But eventually you'll reach whatever destination you're meant for and then your vision will expand because your perspective will shift. So hang in there until that happens, but until it does, everything you're feeling/thinking is valid and important at this time of your life.

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Josh

14 days ago

ISTJ
Sagittarius

6w5

6

5

Wow! That is a really great way to think about it and i appreciate the perspective. For some reason before all of this i had a hard time understanding why someone would find it hard to bounce back from a relationship or why they would take it so hard. I can see why now, and it makes me feel bad for not being more understanding or sympathetic torwards their situation.

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Melanie

14 days ago

INTP
Gemini

5w4

5

4

Yeah, it's difficult to 'see into the train' or understand a life event unless you're experiencing it, too. You may be able to empathize to a certain degree if you've experienced something similar, but no two circumstances are exactly the same so it's still different in the end. You can't picture what you've never seen. Try not to feel bad for not being able to understand an event you hadn't experienced before. You've got enough emotions on your plate from the present so there's no need to add some from the past, too.

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Sarah

14 days ago

INFJ
Capricorn

1w9

1

9

I'm sorry. Sometimes sharing helps

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Cedric

14 days ago

INFJ
Capricorn

2w1

2

1

I think people like knowing they're not alone. That someone out their knows what your going thru. Trust me long relationships are hard on heart. You'll hurt but go out or make friends on here. Keep yourself distracted as much as you can. Know your not alone feeling devastated. Remember to grow from this and grow at your own pace.

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Elizabeth Aldrich

14 days ago

ENFJ
Sagittarius

3w2

3

2

It always seems hard at first. I just finally got my divorced finalized June 1st after getting out of an emotionally toxic marriage (married for 4, together for 7 total). It was difficult to accept the fact but overall we both mutually agreed it was for the best

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Zac

14 days ago

ENTP
Aries

2w3

2

3

good luck bro

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Joseph

14 days ago

INTP
Aries

9w1

9

1

As someone who went through something similar, (2 year relationship for me) things get better. The first few months are the toughest hurdle. I think something important to do is take the time to reflect, figure out the part you played in everything and strive to improve for the future! I struggled for a long while after my ex and I seperated, I hadn't treated her as she deserved and it left the door open to regret and shame. I took a long, hard look at myself to figure out what went wrong, why I had behaved the way I did, and I sought advice from others on good ways to improve as a person. Thankfully, I seem to have done a pretty good job as my current partner and I will be celebrating our 1 year anniversary in a couple days. It may feel like the world is crashing down around you right now, but take the time to build yourself back up, and things will turn out okay for you. I wish you the best 🙂

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Jen

14 days ago

ISFJ
Libra

1w9

1

9

Hang in there

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Lynne

13 days ago

INTP
Gemini

All you can do is treat it as a learning experience. Figure out what went wrong and don't repeat it in the next relationship. Instead, make all NEW mistakes!

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Phil

14 days ago

ENFP
Aries

9w8

9

8

Did she ever make sure you knew she needed more though, or did she go straight to the part where she couldn't do it anymore?

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Badet

14 days ago

ISTJ
Virgo

5w6

5

6

Good job and congrats buddy! I thought I was the only one who experienced it. Now I can conclude that most ISTJs are really so loyal and patient when it comes to wanting a long-term relationship. It might sound weird but there's a purpose in every breakup and it means your relationship ain't going anywhere.

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Lo

14 days ago

INFJ
Scorpio

5w6

5

6

Lessons learned. Keep going.

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