@Samuel This is heartbreakingtbh. I think I knew in my mind that this is a possibility but couldn't accept it. I don't think I will play the bad guy and say that to her directly but I think I will need to move on. I got the advice from here to also wait and see but I don't know anymore after reading this.
Thank you sooo much to you and your sister for helping me out. I appreciate it a lot 🙂
Wow, some of the comments. First of all what she said is a compliment. What she told you is that she is busy in March which is not that long. With quite important stuff...college and exams. Her head/headspace is somewhere else. If I were in your shoes I would not add to the stress by asking for a Follow-up date, I would motivate her, encourage her and support her. To avoid grandfather-zoned, I assume that you have more traits to you than the radiate warmth. Next timeshow her more of the others. Maybe more adventure, more humours etc.
1
1
Reply
𝖘𝖍𝖆𝖉𝐲 𝖘𝖆𝖓𝖙𝖔𝖘 ♫︎
2mo
INTJ
Cancer
1w9
1
9
Just ask but don't be too persistent.
If she shows that she doesn't wanna talk about it then leave it be.
But if it's really important to you.., insist and get your answers.
1
2
Reply
Dhruv
2mo
INTP
Libra
6w7
6
7
Thank you so much for the advice. I hatebeing persistent tbh. I think a lack of answer is the answer even if it leads to anxiety for me. I will try to ask her one more time in the next week or so. I hope she says clearly what she wants. Thanks again 😃
I did and she just replied with " I feel like relying on you" and then she just changed the topic. 😶
1
1
Reply
Dave So
2mo
ISTJ
Sagittarius
8w7
8
7
@Dhruvlol... I would have countered with "what does that even mean in relation to what I just asked you?"
But it seems like you're getting friend zoned. If it was me, I'd continue on for a shirt while and see what happens... if indeed I was being friend zoned, I'd probably be OK with that because I don't mind makingnew friends, but I wouldn't hold out hope, I would look elsewhere for a relationship.
1
1
Reply
Dhruv
2mo
INTP
Libra
6w7
6
7
@Dave So I am ok with it when it becomes crystalclear. I hate thinking too much into things and I hate mixed signals and that's whatshappening. But yeah, I am probably going to look elsewhere.
Thanks for the advice man. 😃
Take it as a compliment since she is associating you with love, care and kindness. But then again it depends on her tone and context of the conversation.
Simply ask her what she meant by it and tell her how you feel dude. Only way to know for sure.
1
0
Reply
Erica
2mo
INFP
Libra
6w5
6
5
Hhmm that's a tough one. I have never said that to anyone. You could have asked that to her, to explain it further. But I think she thinks you are a warm person and she feels safe with you.
Honestly I think that may be a way of saying "you make me feel happy and secure" which is really good, albeit in this case poorly worded compliment, I don't have enough context to know if the compliments romantic or friendzoning, and I may be misreading this but I say just keep geting to know them and itll become more apparent as time goes on, still I dont think your nessarily friendzoned
We use cookies on our website for a number of purposes, including analytics, performance, and advertising. Learn more.
Analytics
Cookies are used to collect data on how you visit our website, which helps us improve and customize it for you. Cookies also aid in the analysis of web traffic patterns, allowing us to see what works best for our visitors and determine areas where we can improve.
Performance
Cookies are used to personalize your experience by ensuring that you see content based on your preferences and interests, as well as the areas in which our website may be utilized. Cookies are required for certain services available through our website, such as access to secure locations, and they are being used by some of its critical features such as secure areas access.
We use cookies on our website for a number of purposes, including analytics and performance. Learn more.
Analytics
Cookies are used to collect data on how you visit our website, which helps us improve and customize it for you. Cookies also aid in the analysis of web traffic patterns, allowing us to see what works best for our visitors and determine areas where we can improve.
Performance
Cookies are used to personalize your experience by ensuring that you see content based on your preferences and interests, as well as the areas in which our website may be utilized. Cookies are required for certain services available through our website, such as access to secure locations, and they are being used by some of its critical features such as secure areas access.
Posted March 21, 2023
6w7
6
7
Just got grandfather-zoned 😶
So I went on one online date with this girl I like last month. I wanted to go on more but she said she won't be able to anytime soon as she will be very busy in March due to a lot of cultural programs in her college and exams. We kept chatting all these days and yesterday she told me "you radiate warmth like my grandfather" and I seriously don't know what to feel. I do feel glad that at least I mean something to her. What do you guys think? Is there any chances of romance here? Or should I just give up. 😶😅 Which will be hard because I have this feel good feeling about her that I just can't explain. I want to ask her out again but I don't know if I should. Thanks for reading all this. 🙏
19
42
Meet New People
By Personality.
Relationshipadvice Community
The relationshipadvice community, chat, and discussion. Meet new people.
198.6K SOULS
Best
Best
Best
New
2mo
8w7
8
7
She sounds unavailable. If it's been many days & she can't go on a date til April, she's just too busy to date you. If you want something serious, date women who are available & can give you what you need.
6
4
2mo
5w4
5
4
That is godly advice Sha. Thank you!
1
1
2mo
8w7
8
7
@Samuel no worries 🙂
1
0
2mo
6w7
6
7
Thank you Sha. I was going to wait and see first but after reading yours and a few others' comments/advice it's better if I just give up now. It will take a bit of time for me but I think this is what I am going to do. I am going on a solo trip to the mountains on 4th April so hopefully I will meet someone there. I will keep your advice in my mind. Thanks once again. 🙂
3
1
2mo
8w7
8
7
@Dhruv you're welcome & sound like a good guy. Best on your trip! Good times ahead 🎉
0
0
2mo
1w2
1
2
Haha maybe you're taking it in the wrong way. You should definitely ask to her "what she meants when she said that" Hope you get clarification 😄
5
1
2mo
6w7
6
7
I did and she just said she feels like relying on me and then she changed the conversation to something else 😶
3
0
2mo
9w1
9
1
I had this lady throw me in friend zone from the start. I pretend I did not hear that for around 2 months until she said it again. One day, all conversation stopped. She did not bother replying, I didn't send her anymore messages. From experience... ask her what she is looking for, get on the same page. To me, it looks like she is not serious about a relationship, but this is a one sided observation. Good tidings!
2
5
2mo
6w7
6
7
Thank you so much for sharing. She has been pretty vague about things. I know communication is the most important thing but the 2 times I did ask her if there will be another date even telling her it's okay if it doesn't happen just let me know. She just replied with she is busy or that she is stressed. She never answers the question directly so I don't know 😓 Anyway, thanks again for sharing your story. I hope you find someone better who brings you joy and love soon.
2
2
2mo
5w4
5
4
@Dhruv She is afraid to hurt your feelings perhaps. If a girl is truly interested in you, she is never "too busy". She will work her romantic interest into her life. This is advice from my sister, who is very attractive and successful at catching guys. My advice is that you just play the part of the bad guy and tell her you're no longer interested, and move on.
1
1
2mo
6w7
6
7
@Samuel This is heartbreaking tbh. I think I knew in my mind that this is a possibility but couldn't accept it. I don't think I will play the bad guy and say that to her directly but I think I will need to move on. I got the advice from here to also wait and see but I don't know anymore after reading this. Thank you sooo much to you and your sister for helping me out. I appreciate it a lot 🙂
1
1
2mo
5w4
5
4
@Dhruv You're welcome bro! I hope you find my advice was helpful and true. God bless you and good luck.
0
0
2mo
{"handshake":1}
Wow, some of the comments. First of all what she said is a compliment. What she told you is that she is busy in March which is not that long. With quite important stuff...college and exams. Her head/headspace is somewhere else. If I were in your shoes I would not add to the stress by asking for a Follow-up date, I would motivate her, encourage her and support her. To avoid grandfather-zoned, I assume that you have more traits to you than the radiate warmth. Next time show her more of the others. Maybe more adventure, more humours etc.
1
1
2mo
1w9
1
9
Just ask but don't be too persistent. If she shows that she doesn't wanna talk about it then leave it be. But if it's really important to you.., insist and get your answers.
1
2
2mo
6w7
6
7
Thank you so much for the advice. I hate being persistent tbh. I think a lack of answer is the answer even if it leads to anxiety for me. I will try to ask her one more time in the next week or so. I hope she says clearly what she wants. Thanks again 😃
1
1
2mo
1w9
1
9
@Dhruv no prob I don't like it neither, but hey.. you gotta get rid of that doubt and there's no better way then asking.
1
0
2mo
8w7
8
7
The best person to ask is her.
1
4
2mo
6w7
6
7
I did and she just replied with " I feel like relying on you" and then she just changed the topic. 😶
1
1
2mo
8w7
8
7
@Dhruv lol... I would have countered with "what does that even mean in relation to what I just asked you?" But it seems like you're getting friend zoned. If it was me, I'd continue on for a shirt while and see what happens... if indeed I was being friend zoned, I'd probably be OK with that because I don't mind making new friends, but I wouldn't hold out hope, I would look elsewhere for a relationship.
1
1
2mo
6w7
6
7
@Dave So I am ok with it when it becomes crystal clear. I hate thinking too much into things and I hate mixed signals and that's whats happening. But yeah, I am probably going to look elsewhere. Thanks for the advice man. 😃
3
1
2mo
8w7
8
7
@Dhruv no problem. Best of luck!
1
0
2mo
6w7
6
7
Take it as a compliment since she is associating you with love, care and kindness. But then again it depends on her tone and context of the conversation.
1
3
2mo
6w7
6
7
It actually made me so very happy first time but then I quickly started overthinking 😅 and the thought came to my head what if she just sees me as a family/friend with 0 chances of any romance and she didn't made it clear what she meant by it and completely changed the topic so 😵💫
1
1
2mo
6w7
6
7
@Dhruv did you "confront" her and just be blunt about this?🙂
1
1
2mo
1w2
1
2
Welcome to the grandfather zone, as if brother zone and friendzone were not enough 🤣
2
0
2mo
2w1
2
1
Hehe, go on, don't stop. Women are players and soon maybe she'll call you Daddy 😉
1
0
2mo
8w7
8
7
Simply ask her what she meant by it and tell her how you feel dude. Only way to know for sure.
1
0
2mo
6w5
6
5
Hhmm that's a tough one. I have never said that to anyone. You could have asked that to her, to explain it further. But I think she thinks you are a warm person and she feels safe with you.
1
0
2mo
8w7
8
7
Bruh 💀
1
0
2mo
Honestly I think that may be a way of saying "you make me feel happy and secure" which is really good, albeit in this case poorly worded compliment, I don't have enough context to know if the compliments romantic or friendzoning, and I may be misreading this but I say just keep geting to know them and itll become more apparent as time goes on, still I dont think your nessarily friendzoned
1
0
2mo
4w5
4
5
Block
1
0
2mo
Maybe she likes older guys.... like... way older guys 🤷♂️
1
0