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Universes
Posted Wednesday, December 7, 2022
2y
INTP
Virgo
3 Awards
Why is it so hard to find someone who wants conversations. A best friend to eventually fall inlove with.
It’s so hard to find someone who is okay with actually taking things slow and who will have real conversations and even small conversations with you, not just someone who texts when they feel like it or who will ghost you for no reasonings with no goodbyes. I’m tired of lowering standards and giving my everything to someone, just because someone finally likes me and is cute, yet they hardly acknowledge I’m alive or am human. It’s either someone’s super distant or extremely obsessive and clingy, when does the Goldilocks affect happen already?! I get not looking for anything serious but can’t people talk to one another and just not be jerks about it or not treat each other like meat?! I get not being able to talk all the time but once and a while a text to know someone’s thinking of me or even just a compliment for once would really go far in the day. (edited)
194
182
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6.2M SOULS
Jon
2y
INFJ
Cancer
Many people these days avoid conversations for fear of offense. The longer a conversation goes the more we have to open up and share our personal thoughts and opinions. In an age where most meaningful human communication has been replace with the digital surrogate we are currently using our ability to socialize has been stunted to quick shallow banter and text speak. The original intent for these digital platforms was to connect and cross paths which would have never happened due to our scheduled routines. The ease of it now replaces that meaningful communication that is craved. Many are wanting that slow cooker conversation but they keep pressing start on the microwave.
2
3
Reply
Filipe
2y
INFJ
Capricorn
I feel ya, It gets to a point where it is exhausting when it feels like you are the only one to bring about any subject or simply trying to get some conversation to flow... but lets not fool ourselves, this is not a man/woman thing, as a man this has happened to me quite often... i feel like the trick is to lower expectations and give just as much as we are being given.
2
5
Reply
Colton Allison
2y
INFJ
Aquarius
I think there's an issue with the medium here. Social Apps are all about getting that quick fix for what you're looking for where as in person requires a lot more effort to get to know someone. I'm not saying it's impossible to find a good platonic friend online, but for most people on any of these apps it's not what they're looking for. Some will say otherwise, but its not exactly a patient generation.
4
0
Reply
Felipe
2y
ENFJ
Pisces
So u want to connect and then build attraction... It depends on how u meet him. Like if its by hanging out in the same group or smth, then its more orgánica. But if u start giving mixed Signals but nothing concrete he ll assume friend one and his buddy will tell to gtfo. U girls Made that, now look for this kind of guys not easy as they prevented to that gaming.. 🤷♂️
3
1
Reply
Dylan
2y
INFP
Capricorn
Honestly, part of it is a result of online dating culture. There is a certain pressure that some feel nowadays to go as fast as possible to prevent a match from losing interest. But if a match isn’t willing to put in the time and effort to get to know you in the first place, then I’d say that kind of person isn’t what most of us are looking for. But what do I know? I’m not successful on these apps lol
2
1
Reply
Bryan
2y
ESTP
Gemini
Finally some good point, i agree with you its really hard to find someone who wants conversation
2
0
Reply
Jess
2y
INFJ
Virgo
Right! Seems like people won’t want to take things slowly or they don’t want to commit at all. I had a fwb recently and we hung out almost everyday for like a year and a half, it was tough to navigate and allow one another freedom to explore other people (which I don’t think either of us did after the first few months) And he just ghosted me after a mild argument, (he sent 1 message), but he didn’t explain anything, etc. it feels like he died In a way. I referred to him multiple times as my best friend and I never thought he’d do that to me. I’m really understanding and logical so even if he found someone else he could have told me he needed time apart or SOMETHING. So tired of giving my all to people who feel okay doing this to me in return 💔
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2
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Tosh
2y
ENFJ
Aquarius
Ok, I just need to do a reality check here. Not the way to do things. A friend is a friend. Intimate relationship is something else. If you first want to friendzone smn and eventually after months to MAYBE notice that they are worth the romance - how many failed tries do you have? At what age will you find your partner? And most importantly - what kind of man will wait for months until you make up your mind? Beta insecure and immature ones probably - is that the type you are looking for? (edited)
1
1
Reply
Martin
2y
INTP
Aries
I feel the same way. That's so hard to find. Idk why, maybe we're just not wanted by the ppl we want
1
1
Reply
Rea.
2y
ENFP
I've been trying to find it myself for so long, but with the way I look, I understand why they ignore my
1
6
Reply
Jacob Christensen
2y
ENFJ
Libra
It's not hard just a lot of people like to play games you just have to find the right one
2
0
Reply
Eddie
2y
ENFJ
Libra
Seems like the world wants instant gratification instead of actually taking time to grow with eachother
1
0
Reply
Rajesh Pradhan
2y
ENFJ
Capricorn
🤗👍🤗
1
0
Reply
Sunny
2y
INTP
Scorpio
THIS
1
0
Reply
Kizul
2y
INFJ
Capricorn
A personal struggle of mine is having a 1 on 1 conversation here, I never start conversations for I am simply to shy and don't want to bother anyone, if anyone messages me I do respond but I'm never the initiator. I know it's a bad habit but it's just not something I can get rid of until I know the person shows genuine interest to share a conversation from time to time
1
0
Reply
Rumi
2y
INFJ
Aquarius
Because they dint wanna take responsibility They just want but not ready to take initiative and little responsibility
1
0
Reply
John
2y
INFJ
Leo
From a dating app perspective, i believe theres a variety of reasons: First, we humans are very strange creatures. We will form pre-existing notions of how a person is from their photos, their looks, their clothes, whatever. When people don't turn out to be like that people tend to lose interest that that "ideal" person is not as ideal as they believed. To piggyback off that, some people may have unrealistic expectations of people they meet, especially with how easy it is to "swipe" and meet new people. And find "someone better" So with any flaw, percieved or otherwise, people could lose interest. Everyone has their preferences and are entitled to that, but some will have the "ick" about something that may seem minor to you Secondly, I don't think it's a man vs woman thing at all like some of the comments are trying to insinuate. People will often have underlying motives for being on the app: getting laid, attention, rebounds, followers, whatever the case is. Some people are not good at verbalizing their intentions or discussing what they want. Some people don't even KNOW what they want. Some people tend to jump directly into a relationship, some have a different idea of what love may be than what you or I perceive it to. Sometimes we just won't vibe with the other person and that's okay. With people who genuinely want the same thing as you, there's a lot of barriers to overcome and I think that's what makes it more special when you do meet that person who does share those values that you do! (edited)
1
0
Reply
Lance
2y
ISTJ
Capricorn
I don't think you are looking in the right places... I've seen plenty of people here have conversations and I've seen plenty of people off here want conversation. All you have to do is set a boundary when they take it too far. All you gotta say is "I'm not interested in making this more than platonic" or something. most people would still hang around.
1
0
Reply
Daniel
2y
ENTP
Sagittarius
When someone is just a name or number behind the screen it tends to happen. Effort scales based off the perception and what they are looking for. Most people need some sort of sign you are going to invest to the desired outcome. Generally it's either a communication failure. The other end of that is people who ghost for a more prefered option.
1
0
Reply
Ramesh
2y
INFP
I understand.
1
0
Reply
Andrew
2y
ENTJ
Gemini
It's not hard, it's just too many want things way too fast
1
0
Reply
Kaylie
2y
ISFJ
Leo
Giiirrrrrll neverrrrrrr lower your standards... EVER.
1
0
Reply
Klaudijus
2y
INFP
Pisces
Many people don't know what they want, many just want to have someone for the sake of it because they don't like being alone. Another issue with standards and self value. Who know some may have low stands some took high, maybe lower stardards can be actually your level and not below you, maybe your priorities and expectations are not that good. There is multiple reasons, it's not just other people, there is personal reasons and accountability
1
0
Reply
Quintin
2y
INTJ
Leo
Always down to talk and meet new individuals, but both parties gotta be able to hold a conversation lol. The worst thing ever is dry convo that is goes nowhere. Gotta be able to bounce off one another and vibe lol. Not gonna lie the "wyd" text for example is pretty irritating 😅 (edited)
1
0
Reply
Tela
2y
ISTP
Cancer
It's hard to find someone you vibe with automatically but you should hope for the best in time you will find someone to love you.
1
0
Reply
Nyrie
2y
ISFJ
Aries
Felt, it getting so tiring now trying start a friendship much less a conversation. I have matched several persons and message but got no response. Like why match if you not welling to talk and open up, I'm trying but it's getting really frustrating now.
1
0
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