So I was talking to someone I have known for awhile now the other day He was being completely open and honest which I respect 💯 He was saying men cannot be just friends with a woman. He even said that listening to a woman explain her daily moments good and bad, past events and and griefs were all fine as long as he got his payment. (Aka --intimate conversations and pics, videos ect) All things involved with friendship yet no pursuit towards a future. Also saying this is normal and it's lunacy not to accept this type of behavior. SERIOUSLY ❓❓❓😒🙄 Proving my point that most people are content in their own little kingdom playing a role and will be bored until their next fix comes along to entertain them. What shallowness is the minds of humans. Where are the Real Men and Women who will make a difference and live without limitations and have true Freedom to create many adventures?????🔎🔎🔎 I also will say this it all begins in the heart and mind. If you choose poison you will eventually be consumed. If you choose real sustenance you will be strong and have a life of peace and prosper. I'm Done now shoot if you dare😁🎤 (edited)

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Joshua

INFJ

Sagittarius

That's amazing. Expecting "payment"? This doesn't even register as a potential thought in my paradigm. People are broken. Avoid that guy like a plague. (edited)

Natasha 🌅

INTP

Cancer

This never surprises me.

Scott

ISTP

Gemini

One dude does not speak for all of us. If I'm listening to someone speak about their day or their problems, I do not expect "payment." I do it because I want to and genuinely like to help people if I can.

Chip

INFJ

Aries

I kinda agree with him. I don't think men and women can just be friends. Someone is looking for something typically.... Just my opinion though

Dwayne Cobb

INTP

Aries

Hi, I'm new to the app and late to this thread, but here's my take. I agree with the most of the comments. However, if you can maintain a friendship, I think there is always something to be gained from it. That "something" can be romance or it can be something else of value. I have a close female friend. We're both single. She wants to be in a relationship. I don't (I just don't think we'd work). Her friends think I'm wasting her time, but then they are almost all either single or failing at marriage. And I'm not disparaging them. I just think (and this is just my opinion) maintaining a friendship with someone who is of the opposite sex demonstrates your ability to care for someone without demanding sex in return. My theory is this: if my friend and I were in a relationship or marriage and the intimacy dwindles for a time, we would have our friendship to fall back on until we figure out how to get that romance back.

Nat

INTP

Capricorn

I had a male friend like that. We never did anything that even suggested anything other than friendship. And yes he's straight 🤣🤣🤣 so these discussions really confuse me. Also, no I didn't reject him (to my knowledge at least) he just started d**g's and I dont want a bar of it.

Chandler

ENFP

Scorpio

I have several female friends. So for me, I absolutely can be friends with a woman. I think maybe this can't be friends things may be closer to truth in younger folks who run in circles of attractive or flirty younger people. Folks more adventurous if younwill. Im tapdancing around promiscuous. Don't grade my grammar. Please. There is a lot to unpack in your post. It's like a three parter, fun! Thanks for the thought provoking convo of sorts. Have a nice day

John

INTJ

Libra

Let me unpack that…

Jeff Wolfe

ISTJ

Capricorn

Let me ask you this in response to some immature little boys generalization of all 4 billion members of the male gender do you believe in the science of DNA

Ian

ESTP

Sagittarius

Errr, you probably wouldn't be surprised to find out that tons of men view things in this transactional manner.... Which is why most of my close, lifelong friends are women.

Phillip

INTJ

Aquarius

Some people are transactional in their relationships, but that logic befuddles me. It seems so shallow, devoid of a true connection, and frankly it goes against a person's bodily autonomy. There is so much "ick" to it. People of all genders can absolutely be friends without ulterior motives or "payment" being expected or required. This transactional specter is exactly why I insist on each person paying their own way on the first few dates - it removes that feeling of supposed obligation or owing the paying person.

Michele

INTP

Virgo

I disagree with him to a certain point, there are many ways a woman and a man can be friends: They can be ex who tried a relationship and it didn’t work, I think, having some past relationship doesnt mean you were exactly compatible as a couple, but it doesn’t have to end in “I block you everywhere” if you are mature enough and realize that some people aren’t meant to be together. You can speak to a woman and after a certain point, if no feelings are developed you just go into a friendship. I don’t think anyone who is a man or a woman should ask something in return for some pseudo listenting, like what’s that a market? I don’t know but this sounds and looks sick to me.. no offense, I would never ask anything for some listening, maybe a drink or something for “fun”, but that would be it 🤣 (edited)

SpikyOrion

INFJ

Virgo

Simply put..all this sounds like a monthly subscription you pay and never know when its gonna get canceled

Chandler

ENFP

Scorpio

Was good. The dog food in the bowl is for the begging resident schnauzer

Chandler

ENFP

Scorpio

I gotta figure out the butto to save it so I can chew it over a bit. Got sidetracked making dinner.

Chandler

ENFP

Scorpio

The pup insists he gets to eat with us, me and my aunt. When ever I visit. She can't cook anymore so to keep her healthy on her low uric acid diet I chef a bit.

Anthony

ISTJ

Aries

I'll give you some real experiences without even claiming a side. 1. There was one girl in high school who wanted to be with me. I wanted to be just friends. 2. I had very few girl friends in high school. 3. The few I remember talking to most were either into me more or vice versa, yet nothing came of it. 4. My first real gf started out as acquaintances for years. It's hard to even really say we were friends. We just knew each other and spoke. 5. When she did start showing interest, it was pretty clear that she was more interested than just friends. 6. While we were together she told me many times that guys that were just friends hit on her. 7. One of the guys in question was trying really hard to be more. 8. She lied to me once about visiting him after work one night. 9. Before us, a different guy another friend, tried to take her across the country and then kinda forced himself on her once. 10. The next girl lived with a roommate, just friend. Yet two months of dating in she told me she had been lying. They originally were together and moved here together and still hooked up and everything else. That and similar situations went on intermittently for 3 years. 11. The day I ended our last attempt at a real relationship she hooked up with a guy who had always been just a friend. Though she admitted once that he wanted more all while playing dumb to it until he finally told her. Yet that didn't stop them hanging out. I chose to trust her. The fact that the first thing she did when I broke up with her is go sleep with him is just profound. 12. Another was still trying to be friends with her abusive ex. A few weeks in she literally told me she had feelings for him still and was going to probably hook up with him. 13. Met one girl around then who I was slightly interested in and then lost interest. I went to hang out with her just as friends and she begged me to sleep with her for a whole evening while I was sick and miserable. I did and it led to her claiming I led her own. I told her I wanted to be strictly friends and nothing else, and she stopped talking to me. 14. Met a girl I was basically in love with but she was living with an abusive ex. We were supposedly just friends forever. I always wanted more. She eventually gave in, and we started sleeping together. She even said she loved me at one point before flipping again and going to hook up with another abusive guy. Later with yet another she cheated on him with me then blamed me for it. And after that she told me she never had feelings for me and never liked having sex with me. Yet she would literally keep doing it while I was trying to sleep. And even if she didn't, that's still not just friends. 15. Just massive examples of friends and acquaintances stories. 16. Both my parents cheated on each other with family friends. 17. My mom married one of her and my dad's friends. 18. I have every once in awhile heard of a man and woman being only friends, but in every case that I actually really talked to them they have at the very least flirted at some point if not flat out hooked up or said they would given the chance. 19. I read an article once about a study in which they surveyed and interviewed people on whether they had any romantic interests in friends. The results were something like 50% of men admitted to having a backup girlfriend who basically they either thought or planned would date them if their current partner ever left. The number was around 80% for women. All of this is just my experiences. I can't speak for anyone else. But after giving you that, I will say my view is that sure, men and women CAN be friends, BUT there is almost always some sort of extra feeling there that isn't there with their same sex friends, even if it's just a thought that yeah they would be a good partner if I wasn't already taken, but usually much more, and often full on hookups and cheating. So it's so rare unless you're specifically only choosing friends that have none of your traits you'd find attractive, that it's almost a non question. I will never trust a woman with a roommate that is a man or who still meets up with her exes or lies about them, and it's going to be hard to just have no reservations for when they say "he's just a friend," because factual life experiences has given me such good logical reasoning as to why I should not believe that.

Chandler

ENFP

Scorpio

Filet mignon with a sundried tomato pesto dollop, melted because I don't let the meat rest. I was hangry. Roasted red potatoes with just a few herbs and cilantro messy garnish salted green beans with a soft cheese, forgot the name, and pumpkin seed garnish. The steak med rare. I didn't expect to show anyone or I'd have aid more attention to plating.

Thomas

ENFP

Sagittarius

Id be fine just talking to someone or having them talk to me I love in the mountains alone 😭

Wendell

INFP

Aquarius

Men can be just friends with women. Period

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Pingping

ISTJ

Aquarius

i'm done adulting today 🙃

next mood swings in 5mins Keep Safe Distance😈👿👻 (edited)

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Morning 💭☕🥱

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silly thoughts

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Capricorn

It never change

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When you know you don't have any friends at work 1. When you have only 1 earring In all day and you wear that same pair at least once a week and Nobody tells you.😆 What about you?? How do you know you don't have any friends at work??😂

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Life is too short

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Pisces

Yess!!!! 🥵

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Capricorn

Just saying

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Reflexión del día

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Wow

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Standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more I can take…

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Mental health takes everything from you until it takes your life…

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Ann

INFP

Aries

My intrusive thoughts 🤫

I don't know why but everytime I eat a banana, I mentally measure the size. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 😂 (edited)

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Nat

INFJ

Scorpio

Someone told me that relationships is not the most important thing in this world. There are still many things in this world that need to be considered. Someone said that relationships should only be a small part of your life. I want to know your opinion guys!

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Aida

INTP

Sagittarius

⚠️ I'm just thinking “out loud” here 🤣

A few polyamorous couples have reached out to me here, and I have started wondering..... Could it actually be easier if my partner had someone else, someone who could be there for him when I need space.. Maybe then I wouldn't feel guilty for needing time alone, knowing his needs are still cared... (edited) read more

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10d

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Aquarius

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1mo

INFJ

Aquarius

How do you begin to untangle the urge to scream, to punch the air, to sob beneath the shower, to throw fists at nothing, to disappear for a while, and to sleep like the world never asked anything of you—all at once? Ohh Just kidding theres dishes to be done.

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Carla ♡

26d

INFJ

Gemini

I don’t like compliments 😌 like what am I supposed to do with compliments? Make them into stickers so everytime I look at them they feel like daggers that challenge my own perspectives? I’m good. 🤣🤣🤣 (edited)

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24d

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Gemini

Some people don’t like what you are because it doesn’t go along or fit with their narrative in their head. They can’t fathom that you don’t fit that mold they are used to. And they will attack you because they resent you because what you symbolize. You symbolize something that they can’t have.

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Vaishnavi

16d

INFJ

Aries

Don't believe me now, but life is long enough

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14d

INFJ

Gemini

My legs are f@t. One day they'll be skinny. 🥲

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Luci

INTJ

Leo

Overwhelmed

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Exi

11d

ISFJ

Libra

You think she did a good job?

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Eliz

2mo

INFJ

Scorpio

I love hearing whispers, particularly in English. It makes me comfy and sleepy and theres something very intimate about that

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Ann

10d

INFP

Aries

Ouch!

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🕊️🙏🏼🕊️ElissaTrue

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INFJ

Aquarius

Evening 💭💭💭 SOOOOOooooo REAL 🫢🤭🤣🤣🤭😆

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Veer

ESFP

Sagittarius

The Creator and Destroyer of the world . The one and only Lord Vishnu

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《🌹.::Lenöré::.🌹》

26d

INTJ

I have boo friends but

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Pauline 💕🦄✨✨

INFP

Sagittarius

🫠

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Eliz

2mo

INFJ

Scorpio

Aliens would see me as one of their own

1/3

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Yami

2mo

INTP

Capricorn

Feel to Heal.

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27d

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Gemini

I really, really dislike when people project and blame you for things they do or h8 about themselves. This is why I will not take others’ judgments of me as even a deformed version of my value. Never let anyone make you feel like your worth is defined by THEIR projections, validity, or reassurance.

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Carla ♡

22d

INFJ

Gemini

Conversations 🧐🙄🙄🧐

Thoughts Community

That's amazing. Expecting "payment"? This doesn't even register as a potential thought in my paradigm. People are broken. Avoid that guy like a plague. (edited)

This never surprises me.

One dude does not speak for all of us. If I'm listening to someone speak about their day or their problems, I do not expect "payment." I do it because I want to and genuinely like to help people if I can.

I kinda agree with him. I don't think men and women can just be friends. Someone is looking for something typically.... Just my opinion though

I had a male friend like that. We never did anything that even suggested anything other than friendship. And yes he's straight 🤣🤣🤣 so these discussions really confuse me. Also, no I didn't reject him (to my knowledge at least) he just started d**g's and I dont want a bar of it.

Let me unpack that…

Let me ask you this in response to some immature little boys generalization of all 4 billion members of the male gender do you believe in the science of DNA

Errr, you probably wouldn't be surprised to find out that tons of men view things in this transactional manner.... Which is why most of my close, lifelong friends are women.

Simply put..all this sounds like a monthly subscription you pay and never know when its gonna get canceled

Was good. The dog food in the bowl is for the begging resident schnauzer

I gotta figure out the butto to save it so I can chew it over a bit. Got sidetracked making dinner.

The pup insists he gets to eat with us, me and my aunt. When ever I visit. She can't cook anymore so to keep her healthy on her low uric acid diet I chef a bit.

Id be fine just talking to someone or having them talk to me I love in the mountains alone 😭

Men can be just friends with women. Period

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i'm done adulting today 🙃

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Your circle is your secret🧐

Happiness isn't one grand destination, but rather a collection of intentional, mindful actions 🌿✨💯😀

Morning 💭☕🥱

silly thoughts

“God don’t make mistakes”

It never change

When you know you don't have any friends at work 1. When you have only 1 earring In all day and you wear that same pair at least once a week and Nobody tells you.😆 What about you?? How do you know you don't have any friends at work??😂

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The Interracial relationship situation in SA🇿🇦

Standing on a line between giving up and seeing how much more I can take…

Mental health takes everything from you until it takes your life…

My intrusive thoughts 🤫

Someone told me that relationships is not the most important thing in this world. There are still many things in this world that need to be considered. Someone said that relationships should only be a small part of your life. I want to know your opinion guys!

⚠️ I'm just thinking “out loud” here 🤣

Would you consider hiring a professional cuddler? Why or why not?

How do you begin to untangle the urge to scream, to punch the air, to sob beneath the shower, to throw fists at nothing, to disappear for a while, and to sleep like the world never asked anything of you—all at once? Ohh Just kidding theres dishes to be done.

I don’t like compliments 😌 like what am I supposed to do with compliments? Make them into stickers so everytime I look at them they feel like daggers that challenge my own perspectives? I’m good. 🤣🤣🤣 (edited)

Don't believe me now, but life is long enough

My legs are f@t. One day they'll be skinny. 🥲

Overwhelmed

You think she did a good job?

I love hearing whispers, particularly in English. It makes me comfy and sleepy and theres something very intimate about that

Ouch!

Evening 💭💭💭 SOOOOOooooo REAL 🫢🤭🤣🤣🤭😆

The Creator and Destroyer of the world . The one and only Lord Vishnu

I have boo friends but

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Aliens would see me as one of their own

Feel to Heal.

Okay, so my legs are f@ t. What do you think of me selling my f@. t on the dark w3 b? Isn’t it a good idea?