Jagat

Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Tipe idéal kuring: Jalma anu sabar cukup pikeun nahan kabodohan kuring 😎 Jalma anu mendakan kuring lucu sanajan kuring ngalakukeun hal-hal aneh 😏 Sareng jalmi anu gaduh pola pikir séhat sareng henteu gaduh masalah mental 👍

Kakuatan kuring: Kuring gaduh mental anu kuat. Ogé, kuring tiasa sering ngageter anjeun, tapi kuring lemah, jadi éta moal nyeri. Éta waé
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Wilujeng énjing

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Kuring siga sapu anu pas. Ngabosenkeun jeung sok kaluar.

Kuring siga

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

Kuring moal pernah ngolok-ngolok jalma anu gaduh kursi toilet anu haneut deui...🥶🥶🥶

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Naha ieu bener???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Lamun anjeun nonton Jaws ti tukang, éta janten carita anu nyentuh ngeunaan hiu anu ngabantosan anu mawa leungeun sareng suku ka jalma-jalma anu peryogi.

Pikiran poé ieu

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Naha Éta Karasa Teu Gampang?

Kadang-kadang jalma nanya,

"Naha anjeun henteu nyarioskeun éta?"

Jawabanana sabenerna basajan:

Kuring henteu terang ti mana ngamimitian.

Teu yén kuring henteu hoyong muka.

Meureun sabab, salami ieu, kuring henteu pernah bener-bener gaduh tempat anu aman dimana batur daék ngadangu sacara tulus.

Jadi kuring diajar pikeun ngangkut sagalana sorangan.

Kasedihan → dikubur.
Kekecewaan → dikumpulkeun.
Kaperluan → dipinggirkeun.

Sakedik demi sakedik, éta janten kabiasaan.

Dugi ka hiji poé, bahkan nyarios,

"Kuring henteu saé,"

mimitina karasa asing.

Jalma ningali batur anu katingalina tenang, dewasa, sareng siga anu gaduh sagalana dina kontrol.

Tapi naon anu aranjeunna henteu ningali nyaéta yén penampilan tenang ieu sering ngan saukur topeng anu dijaga kalayan ati-ati...

nutup tatu anu henteu pernah bener-bener ngagaduhan kasempetan pikeun cageur.

Upami anjeun ngan ukur ngamimitian pikeun muka, éta henteu masalah.

Anjeun henteu kedah ngalakukeun sadayana sakaligus.

Candak waktos anjeun.

Allah terang unggal perasaan di jantung anjeun, bahkan doa anu anjeun henteu mendakan kecap pikeun nyarios sareng cimata anu henteu turun.

Anjeun henteu kedah kuat sorangan.

Allah sok ngadangu, sareng sok aya harepan pikeun cageur—satu léngkah leutik dina hiji waktos.

Karasa Capé 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Halo. "Kuring mangrupikeun modél kabugaran. Kuring mangrupikeun gambar sateuacanna" 😎😁

"Apa anu anjeun lakukeun pikeun nyukupan kahirupan?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Ceritakeun ka kuring lawakan PALING goréng anu pernah anjeun dengar atanapi mendakan di Internet. Kuring jangji bakal ROFLMAO 🤣 atanapi sacara serius nanya ngeunaan rasa humor anjeun 😂

ROFL atanapi Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Kudu bogoh ka cologne tukang cukur kuring, pasti barang asli :')

"Pikeun sagala jinis kulit Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

Sakumaha deukeutna téh nyata. Cicing di sabudeureun jalma-jalma anu anjeun hoyong janten.

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

Joke naon anu dipikaresep ku vegan? 
Tanpa daging

Karya nu keur dijalankeun

Dad Joke Magician

Pangabisa Dad Joke

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Hayu urang ngamimitian akhir minggu kalayan saeutik humor 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Katakan yén urang diserang ku ninjas sareng aranjeunna sadayana mawa pedang - hayu urang nyebut Shinobi kalayan ninjatō pikeun ngajelaskeun. Aranjeunna sumping ti garis waktu alternatif dimana masa depan nyaéta Jepang feodal. Aranjeunna peryogi sapatu urang sareng daék maéhan urang pikeun éta. Naha urang bakal balik tanpa sapatu atanapi anjeun gaduh rencana pikeun nyalametkeun sapatu urang?

Ninjas Hayang Sapatu Urang!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Abdi nyobian nyekel FOG kamari... Abdi MIST. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Naon anu kajadian ka kodok anu parkir sacara ilegal? Éta ditangkap.

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Sababaraha guyonan isuk pikeun ngamimitian poé anjeun:
Isuk-isuk téh sapertos matematika — Abdi henteu resep ka aranjeunna, aranjeunna henteu resep ka abdi, sareng aranjeunna sok datang sareng masalah.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Naon meme pangkolotna anu anjeun gaduh anu masih ngajadikeun anjeun seuri tapi ngingetkeun umur anjeun?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Ngan setan awéwé biasa di dieu

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Mangga, bebek leutik ieu parantos aya di sirah abdi salami 2 jam!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Kuring kantos gaduh pagawean ngancurkeun kaleng,
Éta téh ngadadak soda..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Naon anu anjeun kéngingkeun nalika anjeun nyebrang hippo, gajah sareng rhino 🤔
Naon ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Dina anu sanés kuring angkat ka mésér tangkal Natal
Jalma di toko nyarios "anjeun badé masangna sorangan"
Kuring nyarios "Kuring mikir di ruang tamu"

Eggless omelet

Omelet tanpa endog

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Jokes dad Gemini:
Naha scarecrow meunang penghargaan?
Kusabab anjeunna luar biasa di ladangna.
Abdi: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Kuring patepung jeung budak awéwé séjén di Boo. Manehna resep kana pos kuring jeung ngomentaran yén kuring lucu, jadi sacara alami, salaku lalaki anu sopan, kuring ngajawab jeung nyarita ka manehna lamun manehna hoyong kontén anu leuwih liar, manehna kudu DM kuring.

Manehna ngalakukeunana. Hormat, kuring kaget.

Hal kahiji anu manehna bawa nyaéta jinis MBTI na. Kuring teu apal nanaon ngeunaan éta. Kuring ngan di dieu ngajalani kahirupan kalayan vibes jeung Google Calendar.

Jadi kuring nanya ka manehna naon éta MBTI, jeung manehna nyebutkeun éta nyaritakeun kumaha otak anjeun berfungsi. Sapertos MRI kepribadian, sigana.

Kuring nyebutkeun keren, kumaha cara gawéna? Jeung pikeun ngajaga énergi tetep kacau, kuring ngirimkeun poto Lord Voldemort — tapi kalayan irung lengkep jeung huntu Inggris anu gedé, seuri saperti anjeunna anyar waé réngsé tuang di pub jeung ngolonisasi hiji hal.

Manehna teu acan ngajawab ti saprak harita.

Anu adil. Tapi ogé: anjeun teu tiasa nyuhunkeun kuring pikeun ngajajah pikiran sareng henteu ngarepkeun meme penyihir.

Poto anu kuring kirim:

Jokes Community

👊

Wilujeng énjing

Kuring siga

Yup...

Naha ieu bener???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Pikiran poé ieu

Naon anime anu paling gila atanapi menarik anu anjeun parantos ningali?

sukses poho kana panon kuring, seuri kuring, guyonan kuring, & omongan kuring

Kusabab abdi resep pisan kana guyonan bapa sareng abdi budak pisan. 🙃

Otak Abdi gaduh Malam Mic Terbuka 24/7

😄😄😄

Naha aya guyonan/guyaan ti mimiti manusa anu masih aya