Univerzumi

Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

Moj idealan tip: Neko ko je dovoljno strpljiv da izdrži moju glupost 😎 Neko ko me smatra slatkim čak i kada radim čudne stvari 😏 I neko sa zdravim mentalnim sklopom i bez mentalnih problema 👍

Moje snage: Imam jak mentalitet. Takođe, možda ću te često udariti, ali sam slab, tako da neće boleti. To je to
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

Добро јутро

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

Ja sam kao čaršav sa gumicom. Frustrirajuće i uvek se skida.

Ja sam kao

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

Nikada više neću zadirkivati ljude sa grejanim WC daskama...🥶🥶🥶

Da...

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Da li je to istina???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

Ako gledaš Jaws unazad, postaje topla priča o korisnom ajkuli koja donosi ruke i noge ljudima kojima su potrebne.

Misao dana

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

Zašto se čini tako teško?

Ponekad ljudi pitaju,

"Zašto jednostavno ne progovoriš o tome?"

Odgovor je zapravo jednostavan:

Čak ni ne znam odakle da počnem.

Nije da ne želim da se otvorim.

Možda je to zato što, toliko dugo, nikada nisam imao stvaran siguran prostor gde je neko bio spreman da me zaista sasluša.

Tako sam naučio da nosim sve sam.

Tuga → zakopana.
Razočaranje → potisnuto.
Potrebe → odbačene.

Malo po malo, to je postalo navika.

Sve dok jednog dana, čak i rečenica,

"Nisam u redu,"

nije počela da se oseća nepoznato.

Ljudi vide nekoga ko izgleda smireno, zrelo, i kao da sve drži pod kontrolom.

Ali ono što ne vide je da je ova smirena spoljašnjost često samo pažljivo nošena maska...

koja pokriva rane koje nikada nisu imale priliku da se zacele.

Ako tek počinješ da se otvaraš, u redu je.

Ne moraš sve odjednom.

Uzmi svoje vreme.

Allah zna svaku emociju u tvom srcu, čak i molitve za koje nisi našao reči da ih izgovoriš i suze koje nisu pale.

Ne moraš biti jak sam.

Allah uvek sluša, i uvek postoji nada za isceljenje—jedan mali korak u isto vreme.

Osjećaj umora 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

Zdravo. "Ja sam fitness model. Ja sam slika pre" 😎😁

"Šta radiš za život?"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

Reci mi NAJGORE šalu koju si ikada čuo ili pronašao na Internetu. Obećavam da ću ROFLMAO 🤣 ili ozbiljno preispitati tvoj smisao za humor 😂

ROFL ili Facepalm 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

Tata šala krastavac

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Obožavam mirise mog frizera, definitivno originalne stvari :')

"Za sve tipove kože" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

Apsolutno, bliskost je stvarna. Budite oko ljudi kojima želite da postanete.

Tata šala najbolji vazduh

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

Radovi u toku

Dad Joke Magician

Tata Šala Mađioničar

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

Hajde da započnemo vikend sa malo humora 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

Recimo da nas napadaju nindže i da svi nose mačeve - recimo Shinobi sa ninjatō radi jasnoće. Došli su iz alternativne vremenske linije gde je budućnost feudalni Japan. Trebaju nam naše cipele i spremni su da nas ubiju za njih. Da li se vraćamo bosi ili imaš plan da spasiš našu obuću?

Nindže žele našu obuću!

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

Pokušao sam da uhvatim MAGLU juče... PROPUSTIO SAM. 😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

Шта се десило жаби која је паркирала незаконито? Постала је жаба.

Хахаха

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

Neki jutarnji vicevi da započnete dan:
Jutra su kao matematika — ne sviđaju mi se, ni ja se njima ne sviđam, i uvek dolaze s problemima.
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

Tata šala Deda Mraz motocikl

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

Koji je najstariji meme koji imaš, a koji te još uvek nasmeje, ali ti podseća na godine?

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 Samo vaša prosečna ženska demon ovde

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

Molim vas, ova pačić je na mojoj glavi već 2 sata!

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

Jednom sam imao posao da udaram limenke,
Bilo je to gazirano pritiskanje..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

Šta dobijete kada ukrstite nilskog konja, slona i nosoroga 🤔
Šta ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

Pre neki dan sam otišao da kupim božićnu jelku
Tip u prodavnici je rekao "da li ćeš je sam postaviti"
Rekao sam "mislio sam na dnevnu sobu"

Eggless omelet

Omlet bez jaja

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

Blage šale o Blizancima:
Zašto je strašilo osvojilo nagradu?
Zato što je bilo izvanredno u svom polju.
Ja: 😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

Upoznala sam još jednu devojku na Boo. Svideo joj se moj post i komentarisala je da sam smešna, pa sam, naravno, kao džentlmen, odgovorio i rekao joj da ako želi više neuračunljivog sadržaja, neka mi pošalje DM.

Poslala je. S poštovanjem, bila sam šokirana.

Prva stvar koju je spomenula je njen MBTI tip. Ne znam ništa o tome. Samo se ovde snalazim u životu sa vibracijama i Google kalendarom.

Pa je pitam šta je MBTI, a ona kaže da ti govori kako tvoj mozak funkcioniše. Kao MRI ličnosti, pretpostavljam.

Kažem super, kako to funkcioniše? I da zadržim energiju haotičnom, poslala sam joj sliku Lorda Voldemorta — ali sa punim nosom i ogromnim britanskim zubima, smejuci se kao da je upravo završio obrok u pubu i kolonizovao nešto.

Nije odgovorila od tada.

Što je fer. Ali takođe: ne možeš da me pitaš da istražujem um i da ne očekuješ čarobnjačke meme.

Slika koju sam poslala:

Jokes Zajednica

👊

Добро јутро

Ja sam kao

Da...

Da li je to istina???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

Misao dana

Koji je najluđi ili najzanimljiviji anime koji ste gledali?

srećno zaboravljajući moje oči, moj osmeh, moje šale, i moje brbljanje

Zato što sam slabić za tatine šale i veoma sam dečiji. 🙃

Moj mozak ima noć otvorenog mikrofona 24/7

😄😄😄

Da li postoje šale/šale od početka čovečanstva koje su još uvek prisutne