用戶群

Memes

Jokes

jokes

My ideal type: Someone who’s patient enough to put up with my silliness 😎 Someone who finds me cute even when I do weird things 😏 And someone with a healthy mindset and no mental issues 👍

My strengths: I have a strong mentality. Also, I might hit you often, but I’m weak, so it won’t hurt. That’s it
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

👊

我的理想類型：一個足夠耐心能忍受我的傻氣的人 😎 一個即使我做奇怪的事情也覺得我可愛的人 😏 還有一個擁有健康心態且沒有心理問題的人 👍

我的優點：我有堅強的心態。此外，我可能會經常打你，但我很弱，所以不會痛。就這樣
👊👊👊👊👊👊👊👊

Good morning

早安

I'm like a fitted sheet. Frustrating and always popping off

I'm like

我就像一張合身的床單。令人沮喪，總是彈開

我就像

I'll never make fun of people with heated toilet seats again...🥶🥶🥶

Yup...

我再也不會嘲笑有加熱馬桶座的人了...🥶🥶🥶

是的...

Is diz true???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

這是真的嗎???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

If you watch Jaws backwards, it becomes a heartwarming story about a helpful shark that brings arms and legs to people who need them.

Thought of the day

如果你倒著看《大白鯊》，它就變成了一個感人的故事，講述一隻樂於助人的鯊魚為需要的人帶來手臂和腿。

今日思考

Why Does It Feel So Hard?

Sometimes people ask,

"Why don't you just talk about it?"

The answer is actually simple:

I don't even know where to begin.

It's not that I don't want to open up.

Maybe it's because, for so long, I never really had a safe space where someone was willing to truly listen.

So I learned to carry everything on my own.

Sadness → buried.
Disappointment → bottled up.
Needs → pushed aside.

Little by little, it became a habit.

Until one day, even saying,

"I'm not okay,"

started to feel unfamiliar.

People see someone who looks calm, mature, and like they have everything under control.

But what they don't see is that this calm exterior is often just a carefully held mask...

covering wounds that have never truly had the chance to heal.

If you're only beginning to open up, that's okay.

You don't have to do it all at once.

Take your time.

Allah knows every feeling in your heart, even the prayers you haven't found the words to say and the tears that haven't fallen.

You don't have to be strong all by yourself.

Allah is always listening, and there is always hope for healing—one small step at a time.

Feel Tired 😭😭

為什麼感覺這麼困難？

有時人們會問，

「你為什麼不直接談談？」

答案其實很簡單：

我甚至不知道從何開始。

並不是我不想敞開心扉。

也許是因為，這麼久以來，我從來沒有真正擁有一個安全的空間，讓有人願意真正傾聽。

所以我學會了獨自承擔一切。

悲傷 → 埋藏。
失望 → 壓抑。
需求 → 被擱置。

逐漸地，這成為了一種習慣。

直到有一天，甚至說出，

「我不好，」

開始感到陌生。

人們看到的是一個看起來冷靜、成熟，似乎一切都在掌控中的人。

但他們看不到的是，這冷靜的外表往往只是一個小心維持的面具...

掩蓋著從未真正有機會癒合的傷口。

如果你只是開始敞開心扉，那也沒關係。

你不必一次性全部說出來。

慢慢來。

真主知道你心中的每一種感受，甚至是那些你還找不到言語表達的祈禱和未曾流下的淚水。

你不必獨自堅強。

真主永遠在傾聽，並且總有希望能夠癒合——一步一小步。

感到疲倦 😭😭

Hi. "I am a fitness model. I am the before picture" 😎😁

"What do you do for a living?"

嗨。"我是一名健身模特。我是前期照片" 😎😁

"你是做什麼工作的？"

Tell me the WORST joke you've ever heard or found on the Internet. I promise to ROFLMAO 🤣 or seriously question your sense of humor 😂

ROFL or Facepalm 😄

告訴我你聽過或在互聯網上找到的最糟糕的笑話。我保證會笑到翻 🤣 或者認真質疑你的幽默感 😂

笑到翻或捂臉 😄

Dad Joke Pickle

爸爸的笑話醃黃瓜

Gotta love my barber's Colognes, definitely the original stuff :')

"For all skin Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

真是喜歡我理髮師的香水，絕對是原創的東西 :')

"適合所有膚質的 Typerrrrrrrrr" 😂

Absolutely proximity is real. Be around the people you want to become.

Dad Joke Best Air

絕對的接近是真實的。與你想成為的人在一起。

爸爸笑話最佳空氣

What type of joke does a vegan like? 
Meatless

Work in progress

素食者喜歡什麼類型的笑話？ 
無肉

進行中的工作

Dad Joke Magician

爸爸笑話魔術師

👤 x 🗣️  = 😤🤭😂

🤣🤣🤣

Let's begin the weekend with a little humor 😆

讓我們用一點幽默開始週末 😆

Say we're attacked by ninjas and they're all wielding swords - let's say Shinobi with ninjatō for the sake of clarity. They've come from an alternate time line where the future is feudal Japan. They need our shoes and are willing to kill us for them. Are we walking back barefoot or do you have a plan to save our footwear?

Ninjas Want Our Footwear!

假設我們被忍者攻擊，他們都揮舞著刀劍——為了清楚起見，假設是使用忍者刀的忍者。他們來自一個平行時空，那裡的未來是封建日本。他們需要我們的鞋子，並且願意為此殺了我們。我們是赤腳走回去，還是你有計劃來拯救我們的鞋子？

忍者想要我們的鞋子！

I tried to catch FOG yesterday... I MIST. 😳🤣

🤷🏻‍♀😳🤣

我昨天試著抓住霧... 我錯過了。😳🤣

What happened to the frog that parked illegally? It got toad.

Hahaha

那隻非法停車的青蛙怎麼了？它被抓了。

哈哈哈

Some Morning jokes to start your day:
Mornings are like math — I don’t like them, they don’t like me, and they always come with problems.
🤷🤷

一些早晨笑話來開始你的一天：
早晨就像數學——我不喜歡它們，它們也不喜歡我，而且總是伴隨著問題。
🤷🤷

Dad Joke Santa Motorcycle

爸爸笑話 聖誕老人 摩托車

What’s the oldest meme you have that still makes you laugh yet reminds your age?

你有什麼最古老的迷因，讓你仍然笑出聲卻又提醒你年齡的？

🤭 Just your average female demon here

🤭 只是你普通的女性惡魔

Please, this duckling has been on my head for 2 hours!

Heeeyyy

拜託，這隻小鴨子已經在我頭上待了兩個小時了！

嘿嘿嘿

I once had a job smashing cans,
It was soda pressing..

我曾經有一份工作是砸罐子，
那是壓汽水..

🤣👏🏼🤣👏🏼🤣🤦🏻‍♂️

What do you get when you cross a hippo, an elephant and a rhino 🤔
What ?
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(Hell If I Know)

當你把河馬、大象和犀牛交配在一起會得到什麼 🤔
什麼？
🤷🏻‍♂️Helephino🤷🏻‍♂️
(我不知道)

The other day I went to buy a Christmas tree
The guy in the shop said " you going to put it up yourself"
I said "I was thinking the lounge"

😁😊

前幾天我去買聖誕樹
店裡的那個人說「你打算自己把它架起來嗎」
我說「我在想放在客廳」

Eggless omelet

無蛋煎蛋捲

🤓🤭

Gemini dad jokes :
Why did the scarecrow win an award ? 
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Me: 😶😶

雙子座爸爸笑話：
為什麼稻草人贏得了獎項？
因為他在他的田地裡表現出色。
我：😶😶

Met another girl on Boo. She liked my post and commented that I was hilarious, so naturally, as a gentleman, I replied and told her if she wanted more unhinged content, she should DM me.

She did. Respectfully, I was shocked.

First thing she brings up is her MBTI type. I don’t know anything about that. I’m just out here raw-dogging life with vibes and Google Calendar.

So I ask her what MBTI even is, and she says it tells you how your brain functions. Like a personality MRI, I guess.

I say cool, how does it work? And to keep the energy chaotic, I sent her a photo of Lord Voldemort — but with a full nose and massive British teeth, laughing like he just finished a pub meal and colonized something.

She hasn’t replied since.

Which is fair. But also: you can’t ask me to explore the mind and not expect wizard memes.

Picture I sent:

I met another girl on boo

在 Boo 上遇到另一個女孩。她喜歡我的帖子並評論說我很搞笑，所以自然地，作為一個紳士，我回覆她，告訴她如果想要更多不理智的內容，可以私訊我。

她真的私訊我了。老實說，我很震驚。

她首先提到的是她的 MBTI 類型。我對這個一無所知。我只是隨著感覺和 Google 日曆在生活中隨意度日。

所以我問她 MBTI 到底是什麼，她說這告訴你你的大腦是如何運作的。就像一個人格 MRI，我想。

我說，酷，那是怎麼運作的？為了保持能量的混亂，我發了一張佛地魔的照片——但他有一個完整的鼻子和巨大的英國牙齒，笑得就像剛吃完酒吧餐並殖民了什麼東西。

她從那以後就沒有回覆了。

這是公平的。但同時：你不能讓我探索心靈卻不期待巫師迷因。

我發的照片：

Jokes 社區

👊

早安

我就像

是的...

這是真的嗎???? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😜

今日思考

你看過的最瘋狂或有趣的動畫是什麼？

祝你好運忘記我的眼睛，我的微笑，我的笑話，還有我的喋喋不休

因為我超愛爸爸笑話，而且我真的很幼稚。🙃

我的大腦隨時隨地都有開麥克風之夜

😄😄😄

人類從一開始就有的惡作劇/笑話還存在嗎