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Delusional

delusional

Feeding my delulu moments

Feeding my delulu moment

Idk what to post

Just really #bored

"delulu is the key of trululu🫠"

If I want something, I'm gonna make it happen. 
.
.

#wizardliz

Be delusional.

💯

Really tho I wish you could somewhat reassign (?) all the time and effort you wasted on me all these years on someone else who could have appreciated it all better

Maybe if you had spent it all on them you'd be still happy now and content

Well at least better than where you are now

I'm sorry I couldn't ever accept or feel that I'm worth any of all that

Idek why I'm still alive when so many who are more deserving have passed

I'm sorry

There's just days and weeks when 
my body chooses to 
miss cuddles and hugs that will never happen so 
here I am stuck at 3am wide awake and 
feeling pathetic and overwhelmed

But what can I do when
That time I felt I wasn't worth anything
Not your time or effort
Or even any of your thoughts
You agreed
And haven't looked back since


And tbh I don't blame you for any of it
If I could I would leave too

when I fell you didn't even stay long enough to see me sink

🎶🗣🎤Delusionaaaal... I Just Waaant Youuu To Knooow You're So De Lu Luuuu Oooo🎶

🤣Better Go Find One Of Those Baby Daddies🤦🏻‍♂️

The way I'm so stuck in my head 
In my own many thoughts and problems
And responsibilities

And yet I'm still so obsessed with you
When I'm so self-centered and self aware
And know all my flaws and hate myself for all my shortcomings and mistakes

If we think about it I barely know you, really

I've been drowning in my anxieties and projections and fears I never really asked about your own
And yet,

Somehow when, for the few times I can breathe 

I wonder and hope your days are better


Do I or have I ever even loved you when I barely know who you are and what you want and what things you dream about and which topics you overthink and which of your woes keep you awake the most at night?

I know I'm obsessed because it's easy but
How is it that you're the better part of my days yet idk what you need?

You know what's messed up?

Now that you left I want to show you all the ways I think I'm messed up to ask why you even were with me in the first place 

Like I can finally be honest and I want to be myself so you can see

But we'll never know now huh? 

You got away, you're safe from all the toxicity now. I hope. I can't help but wish you well anyway even if you don't know or care.

It's so funny

Everytime I look at him, I feel like he also had a glimpse of me. 
Everytime I pass by him, I think he is looking if where I will go.
I think he intentionally display himself to an area where I can see him clearly.

Does he intentionally do it? Or am I just getting delusional?

How would I know if he likes me?

When you find your ex narc on a dating site and magically has no kids  he didn't abuse you but your in a safe house

Delusion is not the absence of truth, but the refusal to confront it; a mirror the soul holds up to avoid the weight of reality

I keep going back to bed because you were once in it

Can we talk seriously?
I realized that when I broke up with you when we realized I was incapable of reciprocating things fairly...

that I didn't even give you a chance to properly express what you actually wanted to happen

I just decided for both of us and ofc that was again so insensitive and unfair of me. I'm sorry.

I guess what I want to know is

Do you still have or did you ever even have feelings for me? 

I know you said before that you date to marry...
but you've also said that 

being us was easy for you, because of the rapport and convenience. The history I guess even when I know for you it's not easy at all. 

I'll probably always be self-absorbed... narcissistic even, definitely emotionally unavailable and dysregulated if that's even a word, on top of all my other neurotic tendencies but

Why aren't you seriously looking for someone else? Will you ever? Are you waiting for something?

I guess I'm trying to see if it would be easier for you if we stop this... and stayed out of each other's lives. 

Or, if it's easier for you if we put the labels back even if I think you deserve someone who can better support and be there for you and actually see beyond the problems they have in their head. 

I'm sorry, I can't be good enough for all that you need. 

I just hate seeing you so stressed and not being able to do more for you because we're now... just friends. 

I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so messed up.

But that's why I'll never tell you these things, too. I don't want more confirmation that it was that easy for you to go, and to stay away. Besides, after all this I can't blame you after all when I'm this flakey. 

I hope you find your someone. Please be happy. Please stay safe.

You'll never see this but

I SWEAR- I keep imagining these scenarios where him and I went on dates and having those lovey dovey moments😭

anyways trululu is the key of delulu 😔 HFJDJS

me rn:

delulu moments

A Boo community for meeting other Delusional enthusiasts.

Delusional Community

Feeding my delulu moments

Feeding my delulu moment

Idk what to post

Just really #bored

"delulu is the key of trululu🫠"

Be delusional.

Right decision?✨

😏

Realistic or delusional....

I love being delusional 😍

I have been watching camping videos thinking “ooh I’d love to do that”, 100% knowing one small inconvenience and I’d pack up and go home.. Aaah delusional.. 🙂

He said you should fly to Pittsburgh just to discuss Buddhism. I asked why I should go, why I should waste my time and resources just to talk to a lunatic delusional stranger.