বিশ্লেষণ, কর্মক্ষমতা, এবং বিজ্ঞাপন সহ বেশ কিছু উদ্দেশ্যে আমরা আমাদের ওয়েবসাইটে কুকি ব্যবহার করি। আরও জানুন।
OK!
Boo
সাইন ইন
মহাবিশ্ব
মঙ্গলবার, 28 মার্চ, 2023 তারিখে পোস্ট করা হয়েছে
1বছর
ENFP
ধনু
30 meetings down!
I have a personal goal of attending 90 meetings in 90 days, and I'm so happy to say I'm ahead of schedule. I'm officially over 1/3 of the way! Things I've learned: I am slowly accepting I'm more controlling than I realize. The desire to hold onto tightly my hopes and dreams for the future can lend itself to manipulation. I have a hard time labeling my emotions in the moment, and negative ones are even harder to muster out. I feel them strongly in my body, but it takes me hours to actually be able to figure out not only what I'm feeling but communicate them as well. I have isolated for my whole life. Felt I was too screwed up or unlovable to make worthy connections. Felt I was also better than people and could only make "true" connections with "equals." I have my inner critic (still) that tells me I'm ugly, lopsided, fat, disgusting, unworthy of someone truly seeing me and loving me for who I am. They also say that everyone is as judgemental about me as I am about myself, so I can't let anyone in because they will hurt me even more than I hurt myself. I've felt that I had to be perfect in order to "earn" acceptability, love, and worthiness from the people in my life. I have expected my partner(s) to be my emotional and mental safety net, which was unhealthy and unbalanced. I have abandoned myself time and time again for acceptance, "love," and staying "loyal" to people who were not loyal to me. I have deeply felt that my previous partners were incapable of taking care of themselves and took on the burden of their responsibility to show I loved them. I am well known by my loved ones as the "Therapizer," who is intelligent, caretakes, and offers help and guidance, which is a passive form of trying to control a situation. I have for years at a time behaved as a Intimacy Anorexic so as to avoid intimacy in relationships in order to keep myself safe from harm. I have allowed my addictions to food, internet, board games and Tarot to take away my energy from my previous relationships. I hope that as I work in recovery I can continue to distance myself from these codependent patterns and become a healthy person for not only my future partner(s), but firstly for myself. I am capable of maintaining loving healthy relationships. (এডিটেড)
8
3
মন্তব্য
Coda কমিউনিটি
coda সম্প্রদায়, চ্যাট, এবং আলোচনা।
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